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The Power of Kind Voice

Updated on April 15, 2019
Lalit Bunkar profile image

Lalit Kumar is a software developer. He mostly writes technical article but enjoys writing on other topics too.

We are a soul, a divine being. However, we live in a physical body - like embodied souls - with strong ideas and emotions. Similarly, we have a soul nature, an intellectual nature and a natural nature. They have described this plurality as three stages of the mind: the ultimate consciousness or the spiritual (which is the soul); Intellectual or mental; And spontaneous or physical-emotional

It is a natural, animal-like nature in which there are tendencies of anger, jealousy, fear or harmful to others. One part of progressing on the spiritual path is to learn to control a simple mind. This is where Yama, ten ethical restrictions, come into effect. They provide a list of trends that we should suppress. The classical Hindu depiction of controlling the mind is that the chariot driver retracted a team of three, four or five horses with his reins and kept them under control. This yam is the rein, which helps in controlling our innate and intellectual forms, which are like a strong warrior horse that can be done for us, and if it is uncontrollable, then it can turn wilder.

The first is not hurt or nonviolence: do not harm others by thought, word or action. Do not hurt, as we all know, is a key Hindu doctrine. Of course, most of us are not involved in physical violence. We can conclude from this point that non-violence does not present any challenge for us. However, when looking more closely at the definition of non-violence, we see that our thoughts or words should not harm others. Therefore, those who follow a spiritual life need to practice it without harming our language and our thoughts.

To progress on the spiritual path, we need to focus on our weak points and try to improve them. Apart from this, we need to adopt this approach that, regardless of how well we are doing in a particular practice, we can always do better, find ways to further refine our behavior. The conversation is perhaps the most powerful tool for communication and it is worthwhile that we focus our attention on this.

In order to decide whether our speech is appropriate or not, Gurudeva has provided four types of guidelines: "Speak only those who are truthful, merciful, useful and useful." We take the example of a friend who is overweight. We are really concerned that it is important to lose some weight for their health. We say our concerns, "Sun, you are very heavy." Our message passes the test to be useful but fails in the examination of kindness. We need to express our concern more cleverly. Perhaps, "I hope you will not mind my opinion, Ravi, but it would be good to be serious about diet and exercise for your health." Even helpful words need to be expressed graciously if they have the effect as we want. Our conversation has four common forms of hurt to others: joking, teasing, gossiping and condemning the back.

Joking and teasing

Let us look at some examples that describe jokes and teasing. First example: A colleague has a special privilege or post. We look disheartened and say, "Look at me, I am better than that! Why was he allowed to do the work that we had to do today?" Second example: someone talks with foreign accent. Third example: A coworker is difficult to multiply numbers, when he struggles to make any calculations, you make fun of him. I am just joking, "" I am entertaining my friends. "In fact, your words are violent; You are harming others through your speech and saying that you only Humor is like joking, it removes or protects the injury.The words can cause real pain, even if they are called in jokes, many people do not feel this. come Confirms that you are mocking! Evaluate test our four directions of these examples, we can see that they neither are true, noble, helpful nor necessary.


Gossip is to enjoy talking about the details of the private life of others when they are not present. This is like making and watching a TV serial of our own. This kind of conversation entertains those who are present at the expense of the person who is being bullied about. Some wives routinely chat with other wives on the phone or on the Internet about their husbands. Some husbands complain about their wives among colleagues. Such worthless things may pass the test to be true, but it fails in three other trials: be kind, helpful and necessary. Husbands need the support of their wives to succeed. Wives need support from their husbands, so that they are safe. Saying and teasing stories can weaken support in a relationship in a destructive manner.

Back Biting

The last but important is the back scandal In the second, finding faults and sharing such shortcomings with others is a hobby of many people in which they enjoy. It is very easy to see the mistakes in others and complain about it, but that we see the same faults in ourselves and correct them. Thirukural challenges in verses 190, "If men realize their mistakes as if they make mistakes of others, then can their misfortune ever come?" And in verses 188: "If the mistakes of male friends , How much harmful harm will they make to strangers? The condemnation of the back clearly fails in our speech test. The fact is that as long as we are not responsible for the upbringing or training of anybody, such as the supervisors of parents of their children or their employees, ignoring the mistakes of others and instead of our own deficiencies It is best to focus on finding and improving. Improvement in self creates positive spiritual progress; Criticizing others does not do this. The next time you stay on the flaws of others, ask yourself, you can have such shortcomings on your own, because who bothers you in others, often points out that the better you have to bring in yourself.

Focusing on three properties

For those who are on the path of spirituality, it is not very difficult to avoid back criticism, gossip and harmful humor. But controlling and refining your speech at even more subtle levels is the sadhana of whole life.

The three qualities on which we can concentrate are manners, efficiency and sensitivity. Manners are humble, respectful and sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. Efficientness is to be efficient, to be expert in dealing with people and circumstances, giving a discretionary response to disagreements, and finding solutions that do not have any humiliation. Sensitivity is to be graciously praised towards the thoughts, behavior and nature of others, listening carefully to the dialogue without interference, strive for uplift rather than dominate. Thirukural warns, "Those who do not know the happy friendly conversation, they even make their friends alienate their divisive discourse."

As a general strategy, Gurudev instructed us to "think before speaking". It is necessary to think about what we are going to say, because it protects us from being inappropriate. Therefore, there are two parts in the control of speech. First of all, before speaking, stop and think what you will say. Second, determine whether or not your words are true, kind, helpful, and necessary enough to test. This simple practice can overcome many difficulties. It can also apply to comments that have been made in error, can provide important lessons for directing future conversations.


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