The Side Effects Of Proper Diet And Exercise
Understanding The Potential Side Affects Of Getting Healthy
Every time we are prescribed a medication, we are also warned about the numerous negative side affects that could potentially happen, because they have happened to someone else. In some cases the side affects are so numerous and potentially dangerous that we wonder if we're not better off with the illness instead of the treatment. Well in my opinion, we also need to be appropriately warned about the possible side affects of exercise and a proper diet.
1) You May Lose Weight. First of all, you know how much money and time we had to spend getting as fat as we are. Eating all that food wasn't easy and considering the only thing we have to show for it is our over-weight bodies, without it we have nothing to prove we were ever that fat to begin with. And as your body gets smaller you'll have to invest in new, more hip and attractive clothes and be forced to stop wearing those stretch pants and muumuus. It could get expensive. You may also find that your joints start to feel better and won't break down and you'll have to postpone getting that neat new knee or hip replacement you've been saving up for. And finally, you may become more self confident and have raised self-esteem, both of which could interfere with your current recluse lifestyle and make you want to become more social and adventuresome and actually enjoy leaving the house, without your remote control.
2)Your May Experience Lower Blood Pressure. Why would you want that? I mean really, if you lower your blood pressure you won't be able to take all those cool medications the drug companies have come up with and are making a billion dollars selling. And you won't have anything to talk about with all your other high blood pressure friends, like all those great head aches you get and the beautiful red flushed color in your face and the dizziness and faintness you've all come to know and love. And most importantly you won't be able to have the great, life threatening experience of having a stroke or heart attack and spending quality time in a hospital.
3) You May Either Get Rid Of Or Keep From Getting Diabetes And Coronary Disease. Here again, like over eating, your diabetes and clogged arteries are something you worked hard to achieve and your off the charts blood sugar and cholesterol levels are numbers to be proud of. I mean, like your 401K, everyone knows those numbers are better the higher they are. And once again, why would you want to manage your diabetes and potential heart disease issues with a simple and easy healthy diet when you can spend that time eating anything you want and taking all kinds of pretty colored pills, fun injections and having all kinds of neat new surgeries. After all, shortness of breath and wheezing should be considered an exercise, you get to take a lot more breaths and work those lungs harder.
4) You May Experience An Increase In Energy And Attitude. If you feel more energetic you might want to spend more time playing with your kids and grand kids and have more romance with your significant other and not fall asleep on the couch every night. You might also experience a desire to go for a walk and enjoy the outdoors where you could be attacked by warm refreshing breezes and loud singing birds. And lastly, you might feel more positive about yourself and find yourself doing random acts of kindness and a strange facial phenomenon called a smile might spontaneously break out and you could develop the ability to hum and sing. How disgusting.
5) You May Acquire A Sudden Desire To Eat Fruits And Vegetables. How ridiculous. You know how long it takes to cook vegetables and how much room fruit takes up in your refrigerator? And how quickly they go bad? Where as cookies, ice cream, candy, chips and other sugar and salt laden foods are easily stored, have a shelf life of a billion years and are ready to eat in a second. And even though their nutritional value is zero, they can decrease the incidence of the other undesirable side affects listed above. Always remember, an apple a day can keep the Doctor away and why would you ever want to stay away from your Doctor, he needs to make a living just like everyone else.
6) You May Need To Visit Your Doctor And Pharmacist Less Often. Good friends are hard to find and harder to keep. Your Doctor and Pharmacist are some of your best friends and you shouldn't want to give them up. Just think about it, every time you see your Doctor for unnecessary visits brought on by not taking care of yourself, not only do you get to take his or her time away from seeing people who are really sick and need their help, but you also get to wait in the waiting room forever, which allows you to catch up on all the magazine articles you haven't had a chance to read. Then you get to take all kinds of great, fun, expensive tests, that you wouldn't have needed, but at least gave you something to do and filled your day. And finally, you get prescribed all sorts of interesting, expensive, new and colorful medications that fill up your medicine cabinet and make it look more interesting and also make the drug companies all kinds of money. Hey someone has to help the economy and create jobs. And if we all stopped needing to go to the Doctor except for annual check ups and stopped taking all those great drugs, we just might reduce the drug companies profits. That's just not right. And one other thing, for many of us, visiting the Doctor is all the physical activity we get and if we have to cut that out, we'd be forced to get our exercise by spending more time in the grocery store. As for the pharmacy, just think about it. It's the only place we can go to keep up with and get all the great new expensive drugs that are being developed and keeps us from needing to get healthy on our own. And since we're not spending money on healthy activities, new clothes and healthy foods, we have to give that money to someone and the big, rich and greedy drug companies are the perfect candidates.
In closing, as you see there are too many potentially dangerous side affects from making an attempt at starting and staying healthy. I can't for the life of of me see why anyone would want to do it. I mean, except for the longer, healthier and better life of all of us.