- Mental Health»
The Silent Pains
A beautiful smile is not always a reflection of the heart
Depressed People Are Among Us
They walk among us. Every day we interact with them. Their bright smiles are always amazing. We see them as happy people. Yes, people who are always funny while around us. We see them as people who are doing very well in life.
However, have we ever had a thought about what goes on inside their lives? Sometimes, not all bright smiles are real. Some are just meant to cover a lot. Some people who smile the brightest and seem to be ever happy have a deep sadness within that makes them feel like crying all the time. They hide this feeling by trying to stay happy. Their pleasure in life diminishes day by day. Their interest in doing anything just depreciates. But when they come out, they just have to wear that cute smile. They just have to laugh. They just have to be humorous. They just have to hide their pains. They cover them so that all looks okay, and this gives us an impression of 'wellness' in their lives. Whenever they are asked about how they are doing, all they say with a smile is, “I am fine, but I feel so tired.”
When someone tells you that "i feel so tired," there is always a greater implication of being tired. First you should wonder, tired? what is he or she tired of? Yes, they must be tired of something that haunts them each day and night, something that is buried deep below their humor, smiles and laughter. Something that is slowly eating them up from the inside but they can’t reveal it. They just do not know how to reveal it, and to whom exactly. But what is this that makes them tired?
There is a deadly mental disorder that makes people 'tired'. It is called depression, a common word whose seriousness has for long been undermined. Its effects are almost invisible to the public. It camouflages to the darkest corner of the heart of the victim and like an internal parasite, it slowly spews out poison into the victim’s body. The 'poison' slowly starts affecting the victims, making them feel like they are just tired.
They burn inside as much as they try to smile harder
Why We Should Seek Beyond "Just Tired"
When the victim tells us that they are okay but just tired, the two words, “just tired,” to us may just seem like a complaint. To others, it may look like the victims are being pessimistic. But the truth is that these people are being realistic. They are tired of something that haunts them from deep inside. They are tired of a sadness that they cannot do away with. They are slowly losing interest in everything because of the ‘tiredness’. They no longer see pleasure in anything. They are battling their own brain as well as societal expectations. They are drawn in between some kind of a dilemma that has left them stuck. Their energy is drained in thinking over and over again without getting a solution on what to exactly do about their situations. When they get to bed, all they can do is just roll and roll because they lack sleep. There are loud noises inside their heads that keep waking them up and deny them rest. The pain, the inability to remain calm and composed, the illusions and other reasons deny them peace.
At work, they arrive early in time. This is because they want something to distract them from just thinking. They use the little energy they have trying to focus on the tasks that they are just exactly supposed to do. This is because there is a battle in their heads for attention. They really try hard to do their tasks, but most often, find their minds carried down to other paths. This makes them deliver poor work or not make any delivery when the depression wins the mind battle. Their supervisors at work will confront them over the poorly done or undone tasks. These people start another war, a war with the judgment of other people and why other people do not understand them. Yes, they are already going through a lot, but they hide it behind their nature. They think everyone can understand them. So what happens when they stage another war why they are not being understood? Frustration oozes in. Sensory overload just exhausts them. Feeling frustrated, they think they need to be alone, alone from the cruel world, just go away and find some peace.
With depression that has resulted into frustration, they turn bitter. They develop fears that every other normal person may think of as silly and irrational. These fears become real issues in their lives and because no one else understands them, their communication skills deteriorate. Negativity becomes part of their daily talk and the battle in their minds makes them lose a large amount of calories trying to understand simple body languages. They view everything in negative terms. This makes them draw themselves away from people. They lose their jobs. They withdraw from their families. They isolate themselves into lonely cages that they spend time building tall walls around. These walls are made of broken ego. If we don't realize the changes in their lives on time, their situation worsens. The depression causes effects in their lives that are hard to reverse. The thinking of these people changes in such a way tat it convinces them that they are becoming useless and there is no one who understands them nor who is willing to help them out. At this stage, most of these people are self medicating themselves, trying to disentangle themselves from the straps of depression.
Lone in a depression cage
Self-medication soon tires these people. To add up on frustration and bitterness, they become hopeless. They slowly start giving up on their own lives. Their brains have battled so much that they can no longer distinguish between what is real and what is not real. Everything is presented to them by their brains as reality. The mental illusions, the fears and the pains in their brains start manifesting themselves physically to these people. To normal people, this is madness. They (normal people) say, yes, they are mad! Their muscles ache. Migraines become order of their days and sometimes; their vision fails while at other times, they see visionary images. Others may lose their hearing ability and or sense of taste and smell. This is the chronic stage of depression. It is sad that at this stage, these people mutilate themselves to death. Suicide is the most common form of their end. Family members only realize a body of their beloved floating in a swimming pool or hanging on a rope from a tree outside their compound. Some run in the city streets mad and succumb to ugly deaths. Others succumb to heart disorders like high blood pressure while others face muscle and brain coordination failure disorders like stroke. These people just lie on their death beds, waiting for the angel of death.
We can all prevent these
Do we have to see them end up this way when we know of the facts? Absolutely not. We can all prevent this. When someone smiles brightly at you and makes that funny joke, it does not always mean that he or she is alright. Go on and ask them, “Are you alright?” When they tell you, “Yes, I am Ok. Just tired.” It is wise to look beyond their answer. Are they just physically tired? Are they mentally worked up? Do they need you but they are afraid to say it? Yes, these people might be in need of someone to just look straight in their eyes and ask them, “Tell me, what is wrong? I am here for you. Pour it out.” They may just be in need of someone to give them a tight hug that will give them the strength to let everything battling in their minds go. Depression is invisible at an early stage but we can all visualize it early enough through simple words like “I am just tired” and prevent its catastrophic effects on depressed individuals before it is too late. Save a bright smile from silent pains today!
Can We Conquer Depression Before it Conquers Us?
Did this article gave you enough insight about depression for you to be able to notice and prevent it early enough?
© 2018 Sadique Kwatsima