ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Suicide Disease: Trigeminal Neuralgia

Updated on November 29, 2014

Suffering Alone

Suffering Alone
Suffering Alone | Source

In order to bring awareness to the blights of Trigeminal Neuralgia, The World Health Organization has been asked to Turn the World TEAL every October 7th. I encourage you to help spread the word.

A day of recognition is needed to bring TN to the forefront of health disorders. Besides a cure being needed, compassionate treatment within healthcare and family support is required so that patients inflicted with the ailment are treated with respect and dignity. Statistics show that far too many, take their own life.

TN is the worst known pain registered to humanity. It’s like electrical shocks radiating across your cheek, temple and jaw like the assault of a chainsaw’s blade, hot coals searing and the wrath of God - all combined. You just want to die.

I know. I suffered for years. I had surgery to treat it, but not a day goes by that I don’t experience some kind of nerve damage, anxiety or shattered memories.

TN or Tic Douloreux affects the trigeminal or 5th cranial nerve. Basically it is caused by a blood vessel or artery that presses against the trigeminal nerve, causing the protective sheath to be abraded away, no cushioned protection equals pain. The obstruction leans against or sometimes around the trigeminal nerve. In my case, the looping occurred at Pons, so when my corrective surgery was done, it was done at the brain stem.

For the most part, because the disease is so under acknowledged, I was treated indifferently. How can anyone empathize if they don’t understand a circumstance? I remember it actually being a cruel experience that left me with shame and guilt. I only had a few close companions who gave me comfort, I’m a survivor by nature and I have to admit that I, in that situation - had a hard time coping. I always thought I could withstand anything. I was resilient - after all.

When questioned about probable causes, it was recognized that I had encountered several acute emotional traumas, head injuries and had an overall predisposition.

I didn’t know what that meant. I had thought of myself as optimistic, a fighter, an achiever. A nurse told me TN sufferers tended to be submissive, polite and vulnerable types. I am not, nor ever have been suicidal or depressed.

I encountered people that thought TN was a mental disorder and I was treated like I was crazy.

I felt insignificant, I suffered alone in silence. One lonely Thanksgiving - I remember listening to my family in the room below ... enjoying the meal I had prepared in between strikes of pain. My sorrow built up, my body was suffering toxic levels from the anti convulsants I was taking and I developed the drooping malady of bells palsy as I stressed over the disease. I laid in my room that day in pain and brooded over the comments I was used to hearing.

“ it will all go away when I learn to control it, I brought it on myself, it was all in my head”.

Over the next few weeks I stopped eating, lost a substantial amount of weight and was too terrified to even move my head. I didn’t brush my teeth for a month. Finally I had the surgery and because I hid my fear from my partner and children, I wept, all alone in my room.

Today I am humbled, grateful, and awakened. I know the value of life and well being, and even though I have encountered setbacks with side effects, I am positive I can live a functioning life. I know what it is like to have severe vertigo, cranial spasms, out of control bodily tingles and fear. chronic, unbearable fear that prevented me from even going out in public.

Because people simply don’t know enough about this condition there is no emotional support for families and no council for patients. International awareness will bring this cause out in the open.

I have been told that the Microvascular decompression surgery I received in December of 2006 is not a permanent cure, the TN is likely to return - I can’t phantom that death sentence.

For the sake of thousands, set aside October 7th, every year to pay tribute to the lonely suffers. Learn about Trigeminal Neuralgia. Surely in this day and age, a cure can be found.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)