The Wolf is Howling
...and other musing about life.
"To have one’s individuality completely ignored is like being pushed quite out of life--like being blown out as one blows out a light.” Evelyn Scott
You can ignore me as long as you can but you cannot, and never will be able to change or erase the memories I brought to you life.
I am that, I am. Therefore, I begin another stage in my evolution explore as I continue to search and explore.
Women Who Run with the Wolves
I read a book some years ago title “Women Who Run with the Wolves” written by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D. Women Who Run with the Wolves is about the wild woman in each of us that is struggling to get out. I have re-read this book several times since first discovering it in the late 90’s. Each time I read it I get something different. I get the message I need at that moment; and, there are a few messages that keep coming back to me time and again.
The first part of the book’s introduction pulls one into the wisdom that is offered in its pages. “Wildlife and the Wild Woman are both endangered species. Overtime, we have seen the feminine instinctive nature looted, driven back, and overbuilt. For long periods it has been mismanaged like the wildlife and the wildlands, For several thousand years, as soon and as often as we turn our backs, it is relegated to the poorest land in the psyche.”
The books is filled with stories, legends, and folklore to help a women examine, understand, and perhaps connect or reconnect with their instinctual nature. One story that spoke to me is a story the author told about the grandmother of a woman she once worked with. This grandmother lived in the Midwest, but could have been any wife, mother, sister, aunt, friend--a woman who could live anywhere. “Her idea of a really good time was to board the train to Chicago and wear a big hat, and walk down Michigan Avenue looking in all the shop windows and being an elegant lady. By hook or by crook or by fate, she married a farmer. They moved out in the midst of the wheatlands, and she began to rot away in that elegant little farmhouse that was just the right size, with all the right children, and all the right husband, She had no more time for that “frivolous” life she once led. Too much “kids.” Too much “women’s work.”
“One day, years later, after washing the kitchen and living room floors by hand, she slipped into her very best silk blouse, buttoned her long skirt, and pinned on her big hat. She pressed her husband’s shotgun to the roof of her mouth and pulled the trigger, every woman alive knows why she washed the floors first.’
Pain and Understanding
Women over a certain age understand this. Younger women might not. However, every woman knows pain--in some form or fashion and, in varying degrees. The pain of feeling alone in a house full of people. The pain of feeling unloved and unwanted. The pain of being ignored or devalued. The pain of being blamed. The pain of being left-out. The pain of never having anyone show up when we need them. The pain of pretending to be happy. The pain of not being important to anyone. The pain of being invisible to those we love. The pain of not being able to express our needs, or having those need acknowledged. The pain that causes us to lose our ability to nurture our soul. The pain that causes us to live beneath or outside our purpose. The pain that causes us to give up on life. I am certain this story speaks to the souls of many thousands of women.
There is something in all of us that we must express...that we must show the world. When we don’t, or can’t…we die a little…moment-by-moment. When we don’t, or can’t pursue our path to our destiny we lose our power. The wild woman cannot emerge. We crave. We yearn. We long for... but we cannot find. Our voice becomes a whimper and we lose the ability to howl.
Now, I really need to say here that I am not talking about talking loud and being abusive in our manner. Being a wild woman is all about strength, freedom, being self-sufficient, being intuitive, having integrity, dignity, establishing ones territory, but being part of the community, and taking care of both. A wild woman does not hesitate to share her story…pass it down. We must learn to protect our territory and not invade someone else’s territory. We must learn to bring each other food (actual food or food for the soul), nurture and care for one another, and encourage peace…this is true power and strength
Women need to stop pretending to be something or someone other than who they were created to be. We need to stop bending and folding ourselves into what society says we should be what we should look like, how we should act, think, sing, or dance. And, STOP doing this to others. Do not trying bending and folding someone else into what YOU want them to be. When you do this, you stifle two souls…yours and theirs. We can learn much from wolves. Ask yourself an important question….”What is it I want?” Once you have found your answer, go after it…..doing harm to no one
This is not a review of the book. I only want to call attention to its message. Women need to find a way to heal their souls. Women need to understand their past---make peace with it---forgive it, thereby making a way to build their present and future selves. Women should nurture each other as they find their purpose. Cheer each other on, push and pull each other forward, and cheerfully applaud any breakthroughs and successes. Feeding each other’s spirits and souls will lighten everyone’s burden. A starved and pained soul cannot grow and prosper.
I have been reading again! I am a reader, and I read a great deal, but this time I was devouring books--two or three at a time. It was time for a personal reboot, and time for reflection and for deeper insight. My true wolf was calling and asking me to “sit up and pay attention”. I was feeling tired, stifled, and powerless. I really needed to do something to take care of me. Something that would awaken me, and begin to feed my soul. One of my favorite saying is “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” This is true for me. Whenever I have a yearning to seek, search, transform, or stretch myself a book, movie, person, or life experience will burst forth and land in front of me. A little book about wolves that I found at a local dollar set everything in motion. As I was reading that little book Women Who Run with the Wolves fell off the bookshelf onto the floor. There began my journey of uncompressing myself to let the wild woman run free. The following is what I discovered:
Life is precious.
- Each day should be, must be, taken as a wonderful gift. Each morning feel the anticipation of what may come---you never know, it may just be extraordinary.
- Look at life as a giant canvas; then paint the picture that will bring you happiness and fulfillment.
- Perform little acts of kindness--anonymously.
- There is something that I love doing. It makes me feel really good. Every week or so I take five $1 bills and tape a little message on one side i.e. “have a great day”, or “believe in miracles”, etc. Sometimes the message is one word….sometimes a great quote I found. I then fold it and go into a local store placing each one where it will be found by some unsuspecting person. I don’t stand around to see who find it, but I just imagine that it lifted someone spirits. The thought makes me happy
- The women in our lives--the strong, emotionally healthy--those who understand unconditional love, will be there with a ready hug. These women know when to talk and when to listen. They always have a wonderful story that will lift your spirits. If you have such a woman/women in your life, you are very blessed.
- Never again will I be with someone who was not authorized or assigned to me. I will not have my destiny tampered with.
- The life we desire, talk about, dream about---that ultimate life that we think is just out of reach---is inside each of us, locked away. All we need to do is release the love.
- I’ve made a decision to live….live….live, and as Auntie Mame said “Life is a banquet” … I will not starve to death.
Watch your words and your actions.
- What you say to someone may be the last thing they hear from you…or anyone.
- Cherish every moment and every person in your life because you never know when it will be the last time you see someone. Even people who are unloving and unkind, who spitefully use you, have crossed your path for a reason. Say thank you and give them a smile anyway.
- You sometimes think you want to disappear, but all you really want is to be found. Find someone today.
- Be intentional in my approach to healing me, and help, whenever possible, to heal others.
- Forgive yourself--your broken promises, indifference, missteps, and mistakes; and, always forgive others.
- Give people the benefit of the doubt. They may surprise you, one way or another, but at least you will know.
- Allow other people room to live. Value their beliefs and opinions. Value them.
You cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one….
- Spend you time on those that love you unconditionally. Don’t waste any time on those that only love you when the conditions are right for them. There is no need to be mean or hateful. There is no need to say anything--silently bless them and keep moving.
- Take time to appreciation everything---the good, the bad, and the ugly.
- Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher. Life is too short and is already filled with those who want to bring you down.
- “When seeking guidance, don’t ever listen to the tiny-hearted. Be kind to them, heap them with blessing, cajole them, but do not follow their advice.” (Clarissa Estes)
- If you be yourself, and go in pursuit of your purpose, the right people will show up.
- Never shrink yourself to fit someone else’s mold. We need to learn to live in multiply worlds/cultures, etc. but we do not need to be deceived, hookwinked, misled, shafted, duped, conned, or cheated out of our creativity and talent.
- There will always be people who seek to destroy. My intention is to build.
- “The whole idea of motivation is a trap. Forget motivation. Just do it. Exercise, lose weight, test your blood sugar, or whatever. Do it without motivation. And then, guess what? After you start doing the thing, that’s when the motivation comes and makes it easy for your to keep on doing it.” (John C. Maxwell) Here is my experience with this concept. Sometimes it takes the encouraging words of another person to push you to begin. Make an effort to be that encouragement to someone you know.
- “It’s never too late to be who you might have been. (George Eliot)
Silently bless others.
- Very often when people you love the most hurt you it is better to stay quiet. If your love wasn’t enough, at this point, your words won’t matter.
- I remind myself, often, that there are people who will be nice to my face. They will pretend friendship and then talk about me behind my back. I only exist when they need something. They are predators and they think I don’t know. I’ve learned not to take it personally. What they do and say is not about me, but is about who they are at the core. But, I do pray for you.
- “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.” (Harriet Beecher Stowe)
Dance, laugh, jump, sing, and don‘t forget to howl!
- “You are a spark of consciousness, a piece of the Divine. You are divine, by your very nature. You are a powerful light being and reality creator, here to do your personal and global work. You are loved by God/Goddess/All That Is and never forgotten. You are a being of infinite value and worth. You are worthy of all great things. Claim your divine reality creatorship. Own your Love, and radiate your Light to your world.” (Galexis)
- I remind myself daily that God loves me even in my darkest hours. He forgives and comforts me through my darkest moments and darkest failures. I am blessed, redeemed, forgiven, chosen, filled with grace, and favor beyond my wild imagination.
- He who cannot howl, will not find his pact (Charles Simic)
- Dance in the rain. Don’t wait for it to stop…..go for it.
- Howl! Howl often!
I am woman, hear me howl. Like me or don’t like me, it is your choice. I am here with a specific destiny. I am not here by accident. I will not allow anyone to keep me from completing the task and fulfilling the purpose that is to come through me. But, be careful what you say to me, how you treat me, or what you say about me……you may be my assignment.
God designed me. Created me. Blesses me. Heals me. Defends me. Understands me. Forgives me. Loves me. I will laugh, and I will howl. I am not pretending to be happy…..I am happy. I am giving. I am protected. I am loved. I am joy. I am filled with grace. I am peace. I am strong. I am secure. I am greatly favored, I AM!
Dear Creator of the Universe, thank you for giving me a chance today to make my life better. Thank you for guiding me to my purpose: To help, heal, create, wonder, discover, teach, share, to tell my story, and to love unconditionally. Thank you for teaching me to howl.
Love to all,
Dee (aka Nonna)