The perfect jump

Fear prickling
my feat
I try to ignore
the pounding
in my ears
five metres
beneath me
the dark water
swirling
gurgling
in murky green
currents
on the rusty
water pipe
I stand..

MY TEENAGER’S YEARS
AT THE START
OF MY JOURNEY
I AM..

My left hand
and my right
a row of white
knuckles
gripping the rail
Could I jump?

SO FAST GROWING UP
I AM AN YOUNG ADULT NOW
AND I HAVE TO MAKE MY MARK…

I looked up
my 14 years old sons
folding their giraffe legs
squeezed through the gap
counting to three
the pair of them
leapt from the bridge
plunging into the deep
I hold my breath
waiting for them
to emerged
and here they are
laying on their backs
hooting
and punching the air

I LIKE MY MIDLIFE NOW
WATCHING MY OWN TEENAGERS
TACKLING THEIR OWN FEARS
FROM SIDELINE
SMILE…

I steeled myself
to jump
but a flicker
of movement
caught my eye
a beefy bloke
was swinging
one hairy thigh
over the guard rail
he settled
with a thump
beside me,
“Time to let go, eh,”
he said.

I WINKED AT HIM
HE LIKES HIS MIDLIFE TOO:)

And he was gone,
halfway down
he hugged one knee
then a depth charge
of a layback bombie
before I could blink
he was slicing
through water
with strong freestyle arms.

BUT THEN THE YEARS GO BY
AND I BECOME MORE AWARE
OF PASSING TIME,
MORE CAREFUL NOT TO GET HURT
LESS WORRIED ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAY…

What fear overcomes me
first?
My fear of heights,
fear of falling
or fear of drowning?

Holding on for dear life?
Or letting go
and learn to fly?
Our everyday dilemma
minutes before
I’d been too
comfortably
grounded
on the riverbank
just like I see people now
wading out
to weist height
or relaxing on the sand.

BUT YOU WANT TO STILL LIVE
EVEN IN YOUR OLD AGE, SMILE…

Sucking in a lungful of air
I stifled the voices
in my head
and released my grip
on the guard rail,
for several moments
I teetered
on the pipe,
the safety barrier
was now
beyond
my reach,
the only way out
now
was down.

I LOVE MY LIFE!!!