- Mental Health»
The secret to bettering yourself (And your whole damn life)
Why I'm actually a wuss.
Recently I read a blog by an Author, Julien Smith. It was called "The Complete Guide to not giving a F**k."
And do you know what? It really helped me put a few things in perspective. Like him, I'd spent my entire life completely scared. Scared of what people might think if I do, or don't do something. Conforming, just because it looks normal; even though I didn't think it's right. Doing something simply because "Everyone else was doing it."
I was a sheep. A wuss. A coward; however you want to say it.
My opinions didn't matter to me, or anyone else (Or so I thought). As long as everyone else thought I was cool, as long as I "fitted in".
Okay, so I'll admit, even though I was a sheep, I wasn't unhappy. I have a great life already, which I readily admit. But here's the thing, I don't want to live somebody else's life, I want to live my own life! In 10 years time, I want to be able to look back and say "I changed myself, for the better, and that's pretty damn awesome."
Why we're all scared.
Okay, let's sum this up in an example. You buy an album and listen to it, but it's not what you'd usually listen to. Let's say it's Justin Beiber. Normally you wouldn't listen to him, but you're enjoying it quietly in your house, on your own. Then you get a feeling of embarrassment, like everyone has just walked in and burst into laughter, even though there is nobody around to hear what you're listening to.
That's the metaphorical eye. Your subconscious mind telling you "Hey, everyone hates Justin Beiber! Why are you listening to that shit?!" This eye follows you everywhere. When you have the last donut in the fridge, you feel it breathing down your neck, laughing. Mocking.
Really you don't have to be a genious to realise that this eye doesn't exist. It's just your imagination, so why do you care? You care because you're too damn scared. You care because you don't want to be judged. You don't want to be laughed at to the extent where you're paranoid that other people care what music you listen to in your own home. Just as an FYI, they don't, so listen to what ever you want.
How things are going to change.
As I said, before I didn't do things for myself, I did them for everyone else. Because that was 'Normal'. But ask yourself this, if it was normal to cut off your nose, would you?
No, of course you wouldn't. That would be stupid; so it's also stupid to follow every trend just because everyone else is doing it. People are different, so surely they should act differently, according to what made them happy. Not everybody else.
So what do you have to learn? Well, a few things actually. Namely this; People are going to judge you, whatever you do. In fact I'll bet my bottom dollar that at some point you've seen someone doing something and thought "What a weirdo", or any variations on "What a weirdo." Even if you think you don't judge people, and you're self-righteous, you do judge people. That's what makes you self-righteous.
But what does this mean? Well, no matter what you do, or how you do it, you're going to be judged, but get this; the people judging you probably don't matter anyway. Why should you care about what someone you don't know and don't want to know thinks? They won't remember you in 20 minutes, so you might as well do what you want, and what you think is right.
Even if this person who does judge you somehow remembers, who cares? What will happen? The answer I think you'll find is absolutely nothing. Nothing will happen. Nothing changes. Trains still run on time, people still go to work, hospitals remain open.
The only people who's opinion should matter to you, are the people that actually DO matter to you. The people you love and care about. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife. Your children if you have any. Your parents and friends. Those are the people you need to please, and they are the people who matter in life. Not some person who, chances are, you will never see ever again.
What should we do?
Do what ever you want. Seriously. Ever been to a party and seen a guy/girl who's really sociable, just doing whatever they please? Yet they earn the respect of everyone else because "Hey, they don't give a damn, they're just living their life whilst they can!" Well that can be you.
So what interests you? What do you want to do?
If you want to build model trains all day, then by all means do it. Make your life mean something in what ever field interests YOU.
Not next door, not your old classmate, or a colleague at work. YOU.
Like to take pictures of bins? Go for it. Want to restore a car, good for you. Just remember, if you're truly passionate about something, truly motivated, and just don't care what everyone else thinks, then you don't have to worry; and you can gain a lot of respect just for standing for something by sticking your guns and having an opinion.
The trend setters are the ones we look up to, and that my friend could be you, and me.
I know I'm going to be someone I'm proud to be, so why not give it a try? You've got nothing to lose and after all; it doesn't really matter anyway.
Great thanks to Julian Smith. You made me realize something big today, and inspired me to do what I want.