ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Health»
  • Mental Health»
  • Emotions

The secret to bettering yourself (And your whole damn life)

Updated on May 11, 2011
How is this dog not terrified?
How is this dog not terrified? | Source

Why I'm actually a wuss.

Recently I read a blog by an Author, Julien Smith. It was called "The Complete Guide to not giving a F**k."
And do you know what? It really helped me put a few things in perspective. Like him, I'd spent my entire life completely scared. Scared of what people might think if I do, or don't do something. Conforming, just because it looks normal; even though I didn't think it's right. Doing something simply because "Everyone else was doing it."
I was a sheep. A wuss. A coward; however you want to say it.
My opinions didn't matter to me, or anyone else (Or so I thought). As long as everyone else thought I was cool, as long as I "fitted in".

Okay, so I'll admit, even though I was a sheep, I wasn't unhappy. I have a great life already, which I readily admit. But here's the thing, I don't want to live somebody else's life, I want to live my own life! In 10 years time, I want to be able to look back and say "I changed myself, for the better, and that's pretty damn awesome."

Why we're all scared.

Okay, let's sum this up in an example. You buy an album and listen to it, but it's not what you'd usually listen to. Let's say it's Justin Beiber. Normally you wouldn't listen to him, but you're enjoying it quietly in your house, on your own. Then you get a feeling of embarrassment, like everyone has just walked in and burst into laughter, even though there is nobody around to hear what you're listening to.

That's the metaphorical eye. Your subconscious mind telling you "Hey, everyone hates Justin Beiber! Why are you listening to that shit?!" This eye follows you everywhere. When you have the last donut in the fridge, you feel it breathing down your neck, laughing. Mocking. 

Really you don't have to be a genious to realise that this eye doesn't exist. It's just your imagination, so why do you care? You care because you're too damn scared. You care because you don't want to be judged. You don't want to be laughed at to the extent where you're paranoid that other people care what music you listen to in your own home. Just as an FYI, they don't, so listen to what ever you want.

This dog is awesome.
This dog is awesome.

How things are going to change.

As I said, before I didn't do things for myself, I did them for everyone else. Because that was 'Normal'. But ask yourself this, if it was normal to cut off your nose, would you?
No, of course you wouldn't. That would be stupid; so it's also stupid to follow every trend just because everyone else is doing it. People are different, so surely they should act differently, according to what made them happy. Not everybody else.

So what do you have to learn? Well, a few things actually. Namely this; People are going to judge you, whatever you do. In fact I'll bet my bottom dollar that at some point you've seen someone doing something and thought "What a weirdo", or any variations on "What a weirdo." Even if you think you don't judge people, and you're self-righteous, you do judge people. That's what makes you self-righteous.
But what does this mean? Well, no matter what you do, or how you do it, you're going to be judged, but get this; the people judging you probably don't matter anyway. Why should you care about what someone you don't know and don't want to know thinks? They won't remember you in 20 minutes, so you might as well do what you want, and what you think is right.
Even if this person who does judge you somehow remembers, who cares? What will happen? The answer I think you'll find is absolutely nothing. Nothing will happen. Nothing changes. Trains still run on time, people still go to work, hospitals remain open.

The only people who's opinion should matter to you, are the people that actually DO matter to you. The people you love and care about. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife. Your children if you have any. Your parents and friends. Those are the people you need to please, and they are the people who matter in life. Not some person who, chances are, you will never see ever again.

What should we do?

Do what ever you want. Seriously. Ever been to a party and seen a guy/girl who's really sociable, just doing whatever they please? Yet they earn the respect of everyone else because "Hey, they don't give a damn, they're just living their life whilst they can!" Well that can be you.

So what interests you? What do you want to do?
If you want to build model trains all day, then by all means do it. Make your life mean something in what ever field interests YOU.
Not next door, not your old classmate, or a colleague at work. YOU.

Like to take pictures of bins? Go for it. Want to restore a car, good for you. Just remember, if you're truly passionate about something, truly motivated, and just don't care what everyone else thinks, then you don't have to worry; and you can gain a lot of respect just for standing for something by sticking your guns and having an opinion.
The trend setters are the ones we look up to, and that my friend could be you, and me.

I know I'm going to be someone I'm proud to be, so why not give it a try? You've got nothing to lose and after all; it doesn't really matter anyway.


Great thanks to Julian Smith. You made me realize something big today, and inspired me to do what I want.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Ryan-Palmsy profile image
      Author

      Ryan Palmer 7 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away

      You shouldn't! Why bother when they'll forget you in 20 minutes time! Hey you might have even made their day being a little weird! Thanks for commenting!

    • NancyRi profile image

      NancyRi 7 years ago from Delray Beach, FL

      Awesome! I, too, have been hindered by other peoples' opinions. You know what, middle age takes care of that problem! Of course my teenage son is embarrassed by me! And, I generally don't care anymore!

    • Ryan-Palmsy profile image
      Author

      Ryan Palmer 7 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away

      It's not really an easy task to do, and whilst I'm not very old, and not very experienced, I just want to get up and accomplish something I'm proud of with my life!

      It's never too late, and it's never too late to do something you enjoy, simply because "Screw it!"

      Thanks for commenting!

    • scarlettdragonfly profile image

      scarlettdragonfly 7 years ago from Newman, CA

      Excellent hub! so many people hide what they really feel, and care what others think about them. Sad part of it is, they are missing out on so much. At some point you have to grab the bull by the horns and set yourself straight. I am very proud of all my late in life accomplishments. It is never too late to change how your life's course ;)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)