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There is nothing I can do to change yesterday...

Updated on July 27, 2012

There's Nothing I can do to Change Yesterday...

by Monica Ortega

Well it's been a tough two-weeks...I have been out of control here and there...My medications have been changed a couple of weeks ago...I had a hard time accepting the new med's. I think it's tough just knowing I have to take med's. I feel like an idiot because I stopped taking all my medication's out of rebellion.

Allowing my mental illnesses get out of hand and not even caring. Almost ended up in the hospital again...I don't even know why I'm even sharing this but maybe because I think many of you can relate to my situation. Just been running a muck!! Can you see the irony? I hate change, yet I'm DID and switch personalities quite bit...but hey that's different nah, maybe I'm just lying to myself, lol...

I seriously have an anger problem when I cannot control my switches, so then I try to control everything and everybody around me. I just end up hurting my loved ones, and everybody around me. I'm always thinking how would they know, they don't understand what I'm feeling...but sometimes maybe they would if I would stop pushing them away...Yeah, there is nothing I can do to change yesterday, but today was a new day to start all over again and try and do things right.

Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is our future based off of experiences of this present day journey called living and learning. I'm okay now but life is hard isn't it? Our journey unfortunately requires us to be able to swallow what comes our way even when, sometimes we are not ready for it...I guess that's why we need to learn how to get up quickly dust ourselves off and keep running or even walking, pacing ourselves and just taking on what we know we can handle. I call this limit learning :) Learning what your limit's are can help sustain a more peaceful reaction to everyday situation's.

I'm just learning and passing on suggestions, they are nothing that I have even come close to perfecting but continuing to succeed with a 'I will try hard, attitude! I think I will get to places that will prepare me for each step of the way of my journey in this life. :D, Monica, my motto, "Never Back Down"!!!


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  • Pauline Davenport profile image

    Pauline Davenport 5 years ago from Isle of Man

    meloncauli - let me re-itertate your comment - I totally agree with you, and all my very beswt and thank you Monica

  • meloncauli profile image

    meloncauli 5 years ago from UK

    Ironically monicaortegamon, some of the strongest people I know have been diagnosed with a mental illness. I hope everything keeps improving for you and you hold on to the strength that you obviously have.

  • monicaortegamon profile image
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    monicaortegamon 5 years ago from Ontario, california

    Thank you Pauline I know it's tough I am blessed to hear that I was of some encouragement. Keep up the good work. Have a good day :) Monica

  • Pauline Davenport profile image

    Pauline Davenport 5 years ago from Isle of Man

    i came to the end of a 20 year marriage some 6 months ago and can relate to some of the things you say Monica- hating change, running amok, pushing people away in the anger of hurt. I am learning too late I think to swallow what comes. I am learning to respect my limits at you have done. Your coping suggestions have helped my tremendously today - thank you