ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Health»
  • Death & Loss of Life

Death will come into each of our lives.

Updated on August 4, 2016

Why is this happening to me? What did I do to make this happen? Do you hear that song it was our song.

There are five stages of grieving the death of a friend, lover, family member, public figure or even a pet. It will not matter who we are or how much money or fame we have. We will need to work through these stages. These stages are:

1. Denial

2. Anger

3.Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance.


How to find the place to start our process?

Remember the old adage 'there is two things certain in life death and taxes'. If we live long enough we will certainly experience loss. We can get you through this. Frequently in a marriage, one spouse passes before the other. And many times the living spouse will also pass within a few months to a couple of years. There is even a diagnosis for this 'Broken Heart Syndrome' that is recognized by the American Medical Association. This diagnosis does not have specificity to be only between spouses. Adult children frequently have depression surrounding the loss of a parent. This is especially true if the child is extremely close to the parent. And grieving is an emotion that requires us to do emotional work. There are five stages of grieving. And when we allow ourselves to get stuck in the process of grieving it may be time for some professional help. And when I say 'professional' this may come from a grief counselor, a Hospice worker, perhaps a person educated in grief from the religious affiliation the person attends. Some of these may cost money and others will not.

There is absolutely no shame in searching out the help of a Grief Specialist. Many families undertake this kind of help together. Many people chose to have this type of help. Frequently, there is a feeling of 'we do not share with others outside the immediate family' or we are unaware of what others will judge us for. The important for all of us to remember is there is no 'right' way to work through a death of another. others talk of death or simply don’t talk about it at all.

Keeping a journal is often the helpful to see the progress we are making. Sometimes we can work through our feelings by physical exercise (I am aware pf many people using this). However, the most important thing is to listen to our minds and body. There is absolute, way to feel or individual steps to walk for this healing to happen. If when entering a room something triggers a wonderful memory and at the same time we are aware this will never happen again. There will be tears or a feeling of having to catch our breath. Allow the mind and body to help you through this. Should we find it is easier not to get out of bed for a short period of time (say an extra hour or two) this is part of the process. However, if staying in bed is beginning to take a longer time or if we desire to keep our blinds closed for more than a short time, it would be entirely worthwhile to consult a counselor. The important thing is to keep trying to work through the emotions and don't keep them bottled up inside. We each can look at our life and see something that will help us, but perhaps we are just too close to the problem.

It is important for us to remember other family and friends are in a different place in their grieving process. We should honor this difference and allow them to proceed at their own pace. Sometimes this is the best way for us to work our grief.

To sum up this article we need to remember there are 5 stages to death and everyone will need to go through each one to truly heal. A person who is terminally ill (whether from cancer, heart failure, pneumonia or other ailments) will need to go through the same 5 stages. We must try to remember this and not ignore their presence in this journey. A pillow I once saw 'Aging is not for wimps'. Don't ever lose the courage to take the next step in healing. This is so important for you as well as each member of your family or friends. Just as important for us to remember to work through the next step is to remember there is a rainbow at the end of our journey.

There is a feeling of grace and calm.
There is a feeling of grace and calm. | Source

What does it mean?

Just to be sure we can recognize the five stages of grief, let's look a little more closely at these stages. To recognize how they may be presented to in everyday life - lets try these sentiments.

1. Denial - They (medical professionals) made a mistake. OR I can beat this, no need to worry.

2. Anger - Why me? OR I should have listened to her. She was right.

3.Bargaining - Please let me beat this thing and I will not drink another day in my life. OR Please don't take her I will do anything.

4. Depression - Go away! I just need a little more sleep. OR I am not hungry. OR I can't go on without him/her.

5. Acceptance. OK I can make the best of this time. OR I will need to get all my affairs in order. OR I must see these people before I die. I want to clear the air between us.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • MGWriter profile image
      Author

      Marsha Caldwell 21 months ago from Western Washington State

      Thanks for your comments Denise. As I am working with clients and paraprofessionals alike this kind of article seems to be very helpful. My hope is that more people will have a smooth journey through this part of our lives.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 21 months ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Thanks for writing this. I am trying to help a friend who has a son that is addicted to drugs. She is really having a tough time and we finally figured out that she is grieving what "could have been" if things were different. As I look at these stages, I can see that she has already been through the denial, anger and bargaining, and now is in the depression stage. Now, I know what to do to help her.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)