Make it up for yourself.
We can't please everyone, so please don't.
This generation has been exposed and moved by names who inspire the act of boldness and self-appreciative advocates. Because we begin to realize that we are not made to please anybody. The best person that shows transparency beyond the critics that surrounds her, Cara Delevingne.
We heard and saw actions that raised lots of negative and positives comments. You must've seen people do untypical things, like posting a picture of them nude and say that"I love and appreciate my body", sounds familiar? We will do stuff. We may offend people. They might find it too uncomfortable but for those who actually does it, they were just showing what they want. For an idea to convey with an impact. They are aware of the critics but they didn't care. Those people knew that one of the free things in this world are the critics. The crowds that some people wish to please. You knew that too, I know you do.
The thought of, " we can not please everybody", has always been in our head passively, and patiently wishing for to be realized. For you to rebirth the thought, "I have got to stop pleasing every opinionated being around me because it will never gonna happen."
I'm currently living a life where my mind is always open to new thoughts and ideology. I do my best to understand each unique personality that I meet. I myself used to care what people think when I was in high school, and it has caused me a lot of insecurity and anxiety. I hated it . That's why when I was in college, I've become who I'm. Which is confident, humorous and participative individual by caring less of what people think of. That is how I become who I am now. Confident in my own skin, understanding in new ideas and accepting of experience.
NOTE: You may go to extremes but don't expect people to understand and see it the same way as you.
In my experience.
After I had my haircut at a salon and my aunt getting her hair dyed with a well deserve manicure and pedicure. She kept saying,"I felt so anxious in the office, I felt my employees staring at my white hair that is beginning to show up, that's why I was very much in a hurry to get out and get my hair dye".Then she rampages her bag for her car keys and I heard it again," My bag is a mess, this is embarrassing if people saw my bag ". I made a wrong thought for saying " It doesn't really matter, it's not like someone will check it at all".
My aunt, she is a wonderful woman but there is something that she often forgets. That those pampering are done because she deserve to look beautiful and she deserves it for herself and not for the people around her. She really has to stop thinking of what people will think because I'm beginning to be exhausted for her.
What is failed to be said
When they say:
1." I don't like that for you.". When it should've been, "you look better with this".
2. "I like how your shirt..". When it should've been, "That shirt looks good on you".
3. "I don't appreciate that on your.". When it should've been, "Why did you put it that way"
This is what I wanted to say:
1. "I did not wear this for you to like."
2. "I didn't put it here for you to appreciate."
Probably because I find it's a selfish assumption to think that it's for you without putting a benefit of a doubt for a reason.
II. Whenever I hear these phrases told to their own selves:
1."What if people... ".
2." I should... so when people see me..".
I tend to say to those people who said those phrases to appreciate them for themselves and not for other people. And I'm quite surprised that I get to hear negative feedback. Is it not surprising? But I guess that is just me appreciating who they really are.
These are the times that you should be wearing or doing things for yourself and not for others. Where they should've been saying "I'm doing this because I like it ", " I'm going to dye my hair because I want to" and not because of the people around you but because of "YOU!".
What has to be done?
There is nothing when you try to consider what other people may think, but when you consider them too much that you forget about yourself, that is just not healthy at all.
We are much stronger when we get confidence within and not from the people around us. Always remember that people's opinion and judgement are based on what they have grown accustomed of, it's different for every individual.
Let's do us a favor. Be selfish and do something for yourself. Start appreciating what you can't change. Start accepting that every person differs in standards. Even better, make your own standard that could adapt and understand the beauty of being different and unique to every individual and idea. Always seek an open mind and be a reasonable thinker.
If you get my idea, do me a favor and say "I" in the comment box.