ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

They're all gonna laugh at you

Updated on June 3, 2010

Today did not go as planned.

But as my eldest child was driving me to the ER in Portsmouth, I realized something about myself. In times of physical pain I crack jokes. Humor is my morphine.

So, whoever is with me in times of medical uncertainty finds themselves laughing along with me or at me. I am not certain which and I am not certain whether I am doing it for them or for myself. Either way, it is a great stress reliever. You should try it.

Today, with pain in my chest I was ordered by my doctor, via her nurse, to go to the emergency “department”.

“We have to rule out anything heart related, so go directly to the ED and do not drive…someone has to drive you,” Dr. Jameson’s nurse said. “Do you have someone who can take you because if not you need to call 911.”

“Well, I am not calling 911 that is ridiculous. This is asthma or something with my lung and I don’t need an ambulance,” I answered. “Wait, what is the ED?”

“The emergency department,” she replied.

“What happened to calling it the ER?” I asked.

“Well it is not a room anymore…it is a department now,” she answered.

“Well aren’t we feeling all big and impressive? Errr..Ok, well I am not letting my oldest drive my youngest children around and they would have to come with us, so how about I drive myself?”

“I can’t recommend you do that,” she said.

“Well, no but I am kinda in control here,” I pointed out. I am tough. She can’t tell me what to do. I am a rebel. I do what I want. Ok, not really, but I think it.

“Are you in pain right now?” she countered.

“Yes,” I could only take shallow breaths and I was bent over with my chest resting on the kitchen counter while I talked with her. I was ridiculous.

“You can’t control this and if it is your heart you can not be behind the wheel,” she said. Then she drove it home. “I can’t tell you what to do, but if you don’t come in and it is serious, you will be in the hospital a lot longer than if we catch something quickly.”

Grrrrr. So, after getting my mother in-law in record time over to baby sit the toddlers, I found myself in my 23 year-old daughter’s little Ford making our way into the city.

I looked up at the four air fresheners that hung from her rearview mirror and realized she was very partial to scent of tropical coconut (deeply rooted in our mutual love of palm trees) and she also had to have a really stinky car to require so many.

“Why are there four fresheners?” I asked.

“I just never bother to take the old ones down,” she answered.

“Or there is a really bad stench in your car that you are trying to mask,” I replied jokingly.

“Do you smell anything?” she countered.


“So there isn’t a stench,” she chuckled.

“I smell nothing. I don’t even smell the four air fresheners which are faded and shriveled…sucked dry of their very essence by the incredible stench that once filled the interior of your motor vehicle,” I answered. “Look at them. It’s sad.”

She smiled. There…no tension. Nothing bad is happening as long as you are laughing.

My most ridiculous moment to crack a joke was when my youngest son was being born. And I do mean right when he was being born. I was pushing, drug-free and feeling everything, and after the third push I asked the question weighing heavy on my mind at that precious moment typically referred to as “crowning”.

“Do you at least see the head yet?” I panted.

“Yes,” replied my doctor. “It looks like he has lots of dark curly hair.”

“Oh, good,” I sighed in relief. Then in a diabolical, evil scientist voice I declared, “My plan is working!”

Everyone chuckled and my doctor laughed, patting my ankle, “I am glad you had a plan!”

Me too. And I usually do have a plan, but somehow it seems that most of the time God laughs at it and my crazy assumption that I am in control of anything. Like today, plan was to take the boys to Target and buy apple juice and bottled water. Silly girl. I even make Him laugh.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Cheryl Van Allen profile image

      Cheryl Van Allen 

      8 years ago

      You rock, Barbara. I'm sorry you went through pain yesterday - get some rest. One of my favorite stressy-time jokes was during my delivery, but it was delivered by my anesthesiologist. I had been in the hospital for days already, had 7 doctors up my hoochie, and they FINALLY decided to do a c-section, after inducing labor and breaking my water didn't work. SO - I'm in the OR (or is it now OD?) - strapped down with my arms out, and I start to feel nauseous. I said to my anesth. - "Please help me - save me some dignity - I don't want to puke." He said "oh, I've got something for that" and put something in the iv that worked INSTANTLY. Amazed, I said "I love you" - he said..."They all say that, and it's always a one-night stand." AWESOME!

    • Putz Ballard profile image

      Putz Ballard 

      8 years ago

      A merry hearth doth good, like a medicine. I have laughed often and hardest at my own self. Great hub and great sense of humor.

    • kaltopsyd profile image


      8 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA

      You made me laugh. You sound like a really fun-loving person and someone that's fun to be around. We need more people like you in this world. I assume that everything is fine with you now? I hope...


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)