What to and not to do when we drunk
Coming home drunk and then go online can bring you lots of fun, but also lots of problems second day.
This is our top 10 list of things you should avoid doing on Internet if you are drunk.
What not to do when we are drunk
1. Respond to anything work-related
No matter how capable you think you are, just don’t do it. Any mistake will be instantly explained by the 4am reply time. Besides, alcohol breeds carelessness, and ending an email to an attractive co-worker with a pun on how she’s good at “every job there is” with a winky-face is definitely not a good idea.
2. Chat with family membersJust because your weird step-uncle Dale just got off work from the recycling plant does not mean that it’s the perfect time to organize that trip to insect museum he’s always been bugging you about. This will come back to haunt you in the form of a doorbell ring at 6am the following Sunday.
3. Change your password
Of all the things to forget about the previous night, the fact that your email’s new password is “burgerkingroxxx” is one of the most costly.
4. Use your credit card
No, don’t order that Viking helmet off of eBay that would be perfect for that Kegger on Thursday and no, you don’t need to sign up to three more porno sites.
5. Describe your level of intoxication in a status update
Look, everybody out that saw how drunk you are. Everyone online going to see how drunk you were when you’re tagged the next morning in a sequence of photos illustrating your attempt to chug a mixture of vodka and apple sauce. Nobody needs to be reminded via an intentionally misspelled status update.
6. Email an ex
It’s like texting, except you can fit a hell of a lot more in. While a text message limits you to a simple “want 2 see u” an email can easily turn into a seemingly appropriate compliment that “ur way better at kissing than ur sister.”
7. Forward a funny email
People haven’t done this since 2001, and no matter how much you believe you won’t get kissed for two years if you don’t pass it along, please try and refrain.
8. Film a YouTube response video
I don’t know what sorts of assholes are making all of these YouTube response videos, but I’m assuming most of them must be plastered, so everyone cut it out: nobody cares.
9. Download p0rn
I know it’s hard to find the Kim Kardashian sextape but just pay for it when you’re sober if you’re so desperate, because you’re going to get a bunch of Trojans if you drunkenly download anything p0rn-related. They invented streaming for a reason.
10. Read the news
This isn’t a good time to catch up on the latest on the Obama administration, and you’re going to forget all of it anyway. You may as well just turn on some Dave Chapelle stand-up and enjoy yourself while you’re still conscious.
What to do?
Tired of never having anything to do when you're drunk? It seems that most of us resort to the same intoxicated pass times: beer pong, card games and socializing with others. While these activities are certainly fun, it seems that new and original drunken experiences can be hard to come by. In fact, having a unique and fun time while drunk isn't very hard, you just have to use your imagination. Today, we explore fifteen fun and easy things to do when you're drunk. Try some out the next time you crack open your favorite bottle.
1. Breaking Stuff
Breaking stuff can be a great outlet for aggression and child-like fun when you're drunk. The more ridiculous the stuff you're breaking, the more fun it usually is. Electronics are always extra-enjoyable. Try to get your hands on some old computers or TV sets that haven't been used in ages. Once you're good and hammered, haul off and bust them apart however you desire. Try throwing them off high places or swinging a baseball bat at them. The first crunch your bat makes through the screen is always satisfying. If you can't find old electronics or furniture or anything like that, try smaller items. Something as simple as smashing glass bottles on an ally-way can be a blast when you're loaded.
2. Yell At People (Especially Strangers)
One of alcohol's most beloved (and also most regretted) side effects is lowered inhibition. Simply put, you don't care to stop and think about what you're doing before you do it. For this reason, yelling at complete strangers is a ton of fun. The best way to go about this is to convince a sober friend to drive you and your drunk buddies around town. When you see people walking on the sidewalk, just lean out the window and scream at them. What you scream at them is entirely up to you. Insults tend to be the most fun when drunk, but almost anything that comes to mind will do. If you can't find a sober friend to drive you around, you might try screaming at people outside the bar you're hanging out at. This can be fun too, but you'll have to censor yourself a bit unless you want to get into a fight.
3. Sing and Dance
Let's face it, karaoke would have never caught on if it weren't for drunk people trying to have a good time. Loud music and alcohol seem to go hand in hand and, for as long as brew has been consumed, people have sung and danced after a few drinks. One of the most fun things about karaoke nights at bars is that you don't have to worry about being a great singer. You can actually be considerably off key as long as you give a good performance. If you pick a song everyone knows and dance around like you're really into it, you'll have the whole bar dancing and singing along in no time! When you're drunk though, you don't even need a bar and a karaoke machine and a crowd of fellow drinkers. A stereo with your favorite CDs, a car radio, an Ipod or even a live concert are perfect ways to dance around like a crazy person and sing your lungs out.
4. Ride Bumper Cars
With most amusement parks serving alcohol these days, the question of what to ride after you've had a bunch of beer often gets raised. Roller coasters seem tempting, but the fear of throwing up makes them look unappealing. Spinning rides are off limits, and free falls make your stomach rise to your chest. Bumper cars, on the other hand, are the perfect drunk ride. Bumper cars allows you and your buddies to recklessly smash into each other with little cars, shoving one another into the wall and racing around a track at speeds that feel much faster than they actually are. The best part of it is, you can do all this without much danger to personal safety. This is an activity which is best performed with a large group of friends. You don't wanna be the one crazy adult in a bumper car slamming into little kids like a drunken maniac. On the other hand, if you and six of your friends commandeer the track, it will be an experience to talk about for a long time.
5. Play Competitive Video Games
From the old days of whiskey fueled poker to the modern frat house sponsored beer pong tournaments, drinking seems to go hand in hand with friendly competition. Video games can be a great outlet for this alcohol induced spirit. Get a few buddies of yours around a bottle of something strong and an Xbox 360 or Playstation 3 and let the good times roll. Before your know it you'll be shoving, cussing, cheering and screaming at your friends about "who's the f*cking man" and making sure they all recognize you as their daddy. The best games for such a night are those which pit all players against each other, such as Mortal Kombat, Golden Eye, Rainbow Six, or Street Fighter. Games in which your friends pick teams, such as all the popular sports games, can be excellent choices too.
6. Try To Meet New Chicks/Dudes
Alcohol has made the chase of the opposite sex infinitely more fun since the day the first village of people received the first barrel of wine. Whether you prefer a loud and pumping night club or a smaller, more relaxed bar, mingling is always easier with some liquid courage running through your veins. The next time you plan to go out with friends, dress your best and spray yourself down with your favorite scent. From there it's simply a matter of picking out other good looking people, and let the alcohol calm your nerves enough to go over and chat with them. Before long, you'll no doubt be having some cool conversations with other cool people, and you might even get lucky and score a phone number or two.
7. Go Swimming
This is certainly one of the more dangerous drinking activities, yet under the right conditions it can be a great time. Drunk swimming feels awesome because the weightless sensation that water usually produces is amplified. The relaxing properties of swimming are also heightened when you are drunk. Of course, the risk of drowning is also greater, so don't drunk dive alone. Always have a sober friend around in case you get into any trouble. The best place to swim drunk is a heated personal pool. The ocean can be more dangerous because of its greater depth, sea animals, and unpredictable currents and waves. A soothing pool or hot tub can do wonders for the senses after consuming some adult beverages, and are generally much more controllable and thus less dangerous.
8. Go On Swings
As a kid, swings were some of the most fought over and cherished playground amusements. Many of us have never sat on a swing much past sixth or seventh grade, but that no longer need be the case. Swinging while drunk can be some of the most fun you can have, and it doesn't even cost a dime. This activity is not for those prone to motion sickness, as the back and forth motion may aggravate the stomach. Those who do not get motion sickness, though, will experience a sweet head rush and the sensation of flying while drunk swinging. This can be a great way to pass the time while talking to a fellow drunken friend or simply listening to your MP3 player alone. Just don't try jumping off like you did when you were younger! You will land off balance and uncoordinated, resulting in a broken limb or busted head. Keep it on the swing.
9. Go to See An Action Movie
If you have a high amount of testosterone in your blood, you know how exciting a big Hollywood action movie can be. All too often though, we find that the story lines and writing in such movies are atrocious, and the multi-million dollar explosions, fight scenes, car chases and other special effects rarely make up for the intelligence insulting writing. That is why these movies are often best viewed drunk, and on the big screen. Hopped up on booze, you rarely care about the stupid dialogue and instead become enthralled and amazed by the massive special effects you are viewing. The best plan is to pick an insane action movie, the biggest one out at the moment, and plan a night for you and your friends to go see it. Pick a theater with a built in bar, or at least that has one one located in walking distance. If these are not available, pick a designated driver and buy a bottle of your favorite spirits. Kill the bottle between your friends (excluding the driver, of course) and head over to the theater. Try and sit relatively close, as everything will look so much more epic the bigger the screen is.
10. Smoke a Hookah
A Hookah is a rather large middle eastern smoking apparatus used for exotic and uniquely flavored tobacco variants. In many middle eastern cultures, the smoking of a hookah is a social tradition between friends or families. Hookah smoke is far less harsh than cigarette smoke, and tastes distinctly of fruit rather than tobacco. The proper enjoyment of a hookah usually takes between 30-45 minutes, and results in a relaxed body and clear mind. Most cities have "hookah bars," or small pubs where hookahs are available at hourly rates. Hookah smoke tastes great with the flavor of many brown spirits or dark beers, and the dual relaxing effect of the alcohol and hookah will put you in a state of relaxation that can best be described as Zen. Check your local listings for such bars, it might just become a regular, therapeutic part of your week.
11. Eat a Huge Meal
After a long night of downing booze nothing hits the spot like a big, hot meal. Many people choose to go out to a diner or late night restaurant for such a meal. This is convenient because the last thing you want to be doing while sloshed is firing up a grill or a stove and attempting to make food. Serious burns or knife cuts easily follow from this. Stick with the restaurant, and try to find a place close to the bar or club you usually party at. This can be a great way for you and your friends to kill time while sobering up, and any place open late near a bar is used to serving drunk people, so you can be sure you won't be disturbing anyone.
12. Jump In a Moon-Bounce
One absolutely wild way to have a good time while drinking is to rent a massive moon bounce for your next party. You may think the moon bounce is just for kids, but you might be surprised to see how large these things come nowadays. The moon bounce is a far safer alternative to a trampoline, which has caused many a broken leg for drunk jumpers in the past. The nice thing about the moon-bounce is that it is enclosed, and even the walls and ceiling are either inflatable cushion or mesh netting. This way, if things get rowdy and people start throwing each other around a bit, or you loose your balance while showing off your sweet front flip, you are quite well protected against injury. Moon bounce jumping can provide endless amounts of juvenile fun for dizzied adults as long as safety is taken into consideration.
13. Get Thrown Out of a Public Place
Either by excessive PDA with your significant other, problems with a group of people in attendance, or just due to over-all excessive rowdiness, never will you feel more righteous than when you and your friends are thrown our of a public place drunk. Pointing with indigent fury and screaming about how "this is bullsh*t" and how "you don't have to take this" while your friends hold you back and drag you out of a place can make you feel like someone to be reckoned with. As long as you don't do anything to get yourself arrested, being asked to leave a place for drunken conduct, creating a huge scene upon leaving, almost always provides some great laughs and cheap thrills for a night of debauchery.
14. Calling Friends
The all too common "drunk dial" is great way to pass the time while standing outside your favorite bar or just sitting around your house after drinking a bunch of beer. Who should you call, you might wonder. The best bet is to call other close friends who are either themselves out having a wild night or would otherwise find it funny that you're calling them tanked. Don't worry about what you'll say, generally once they pick up hilarious conversation will just naturally flow. If they don't answer, leave them a message. It is always hysterical (and sometimes embarrassing) when your friend lets you listen to the drunken message the next day. Whatever you do, don't make the mistake of calling a longed for ex-lover or straitlaced co-worker or boss. These are fatal mistakes that will come back to haunt you the minute you take off your beer-goggles.
15. Make Some Art
If you find yourself four to the floor and all alone, it can quite entertaining to practice your favorite art. If you play an instrument, jam out. If you're a painter, break out your canvas and have at it. If instead you prefer digital art, load up Photoshop and go to town, and if you're a writer, try and crank out a short story. Not only can you sometimes find inspiration drunk that you might not have had sober, it also ensures a fun time checking out what you did when you sober up. Art is all about expressions, and some of the most influential cultural pieces were created by someone just as blasted as you.
Don't let addiction take over your life.