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Three Lies We Tell Ourselves About Aging and One Beautiful Truth

Updated on July 14, 2014

My Best Years Are Behind Me- LIE

When our inner dialogue creates the myth of how our greatest achievements are in the past we need to remind ourselves immediately that we are indeed living in the past. It is easy for the mind to conjure up memories of supposedly happier times. This type of nostalgia is notably reflected in the character Uncle Rico from the movie " Napoleon Dynamite". He tries to recapture his high school quarterback glory days by ordering a time machine off the Internet. All of us have a tendency to romanticize the past especially when we are unsure of the future or uncomfortable with our current situation. When we begin to speak and think in past terms our mind is no longer in the present moment. We are robbing ourselves of precious time in the here and now.

I'm Too Old to Learn or Begin Again- LIE

How many times have you heard people in their 40's and 50's grumble, "Well, if I was younger..." I'd do such and such. Unless we are referring to unnecessary risky behavior such as bungee jumping or naked para sailing we learn until our demise. Biologically, childbirth after a certain age becomes even more dangerous but there are alternatives such as adoption. Start a new career. Go to school. Take a boxing class. Run a marathon. Adopt a shelter dog. Pose nude in Playboy. Dance until dawn. Learn a new language. Travel. Write a blog. Eat a gallon of ice cream in your underwear. Save the world. It's YOUR LIFE. There are too many people under forty who consider themselves old and have their entire future career path streamlined to retirement. When we are concocting all the charts and graphs, analysing data and saving for the stereotypical "old age" bingo fest, arts and crafts mindset, where is the NOW? Are you enjoying your life now ? Why do people believe they will be happy in the future if they are incapable of being happy in the present ? Human beings have the desire and capacity to accomplish so much more than we allow ourselves at any age. Even after the godforsaken age of forty ( I say sarcastically) we are developing new skills and challenging ourselves. Don't ever let insecure people tell you, YOU ARE TOO OLD.

Where Do You Want to Go? Map it!

No One Loves Me, No One Cares- LIE

Do you remember the scene in "Arthur" when Sir John Gielgud's character slaps Dudley Moore in the face after he complains about being unloved? "You spoiled little bastard! You're a man who has everything, haven't you, but that's not enough. You feel unloved, Arthur, welcome to the world. Everyone is unloved. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself. And incidentally, I love you." Figuratively, every one of us needs the Hobson slap to occasionally remind us we are not the center of the universe. Life altering events occur in later years but they can also occur at any moment. Parents experience Empty-Nest Syndrome or grown children move across the country. Sadly, you may unexpectedly lose a spouse or significant other. Perhaps you move after a job loss or start fresh in a new city after divorce. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Love yourself. We can't expect others to love us if we are not capable of understanding and loving ourselves. If you feel unloved, ignored or unimportant begin to examine, explore and rediscover who you are and what you need to feel fulfilled. Be comfortable alone. There is no one more deserving of your love than you. Most importantly find a way to comfort and serve others who need you. Show compassion. It may no longer be family, a spouse, a lover or your own children you help but their is a whole world who needs all the love you can give.


The Truth : You Can't Stop It

Truth in lifes advertising. You can't stop the aging process. Sure there are entire industries of doctors, pharmaceutical companies and beauty product campaigns dedicated and thriving on keeping our society self-conscious about sexual performance, grey hair or sagging skin. People will always choose procedures or "quick fixes" if they truly believe it will make them happier. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel good or more confident. Do you have to rely on them? The most beautiful people I know or have known accept that we are all aging. It is natural. It is life. Like all things, we too shall pass. Beauty and grace shine in the wisdom of our acceptance.

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  • LKMore01 profile image
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    LKMore01 4 years ago

    Thank you for your wonderful comment, Flourish !

  • FlourishAnyway profile image

    FlourishAnyway 4 years ago from USA

    I'm in my forties (bahahaha autocorrect just said "fogies") and I have never felt more free, in charge of myself and my life, confident in who I am and where I am going. Life is too short to hold yourself back with stinking thinking. I like your message.

  • LKMore01 profile image
    Author

    LKMore01 4 years ago

    Joe,

    After discovering your Hubs, you have inspired more than you know. Thank you.

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image

    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Lisa!

    The message I draw from this is to be mindful of the moment we're living in.

    I've done the "quarterback of the past" trip, but in my scenario, I'm at the five yard line, and I can't lead my team into the end zone. You don't know how that perceived epic failure tripped me up time and time again in the decades to follow...

    ...until I learned to let go of the narcissistic dwelling on the past and find the lesson that needed to be learned.

    Let go...and live in this very moment. In truth, it's the only present you ever have.

    Thank you, Lisa, for your mindful and present wisdom.

    Joe

  • LKMore01 profile image
    Author

    LKMore01 4 years ago

    Thank you, Nia.

  • NiaG profile image

    NiaG 4 years ago from Louisville, KY

    Let me tell ya, I hate the fact that I'm aging. I'm 3(ahem) years old but I accept it. I try to prevent it as long as I can by eating right and exercise but sooner or later the girl that looks younger than her age will start to look her age. And I won't try botox or plumping or whatever else is out there. It's life. I try to enjoy the now as much as possible. It's the only way to keep your mind off the age effects of later. Great hub!

  • LKMore01 profile image
    Author

    LKMore01 4 years ago

    Thank you, JPPhilips. Your feedback is very much appreciated. Self-doubt can be the most crippling emotion for any person who is willing to pursue a new venture. Wish you the best!

  • JPPhilips profile image

    JPPhilips 4 years ago from SC Piedmont Area

    Well written. I want to pass this on to some other people who are caught up in self doubt and giving up.

  • LKMore01 profile image
    Author

    LKMore01 4 years ago

    Thank you so much, Anna.

  • Anna Haven profile image

    Anna Haven 4 years ago from Scotland

    Wise words indeed and writing well, I think we should all remember as you said, life is for living now.