Tinnitus - Living with the buzz
I used to suffer from tinnitus, but no longer, since I’ve learned to ‘tune in’. I believe I am listening to the currents of energy in my body and I’ve learned I can control it in a pretty cool way; when praying.
Protect your drums!
Get it checked!
In the summer of 2001 a loud buzzing began in my ears. I complained about it to my family until my husband hollered, “Go get it checked!” I did, and the ENT doc diagnosed tinnitus; from abuse or a history of ear infections as a child. I asked my mom if I ever suffered from the latter and she said no. Abuse seemed rational as I’d been to several very loud (very awesome) concerts as a teen, along with working in a very loud carwash. I also pounded on my drumset without ear protection. Seeing as how I did all that as a teen, I couldn’t figure out why it suddenly appeared in my thirties. The doctor said I probably just didn’t notice it coming on all those years, but I’ll tell you, with the volume it was at when she stuck her scope in my ear I was amazed she couldn't hear it herself!
A great awakening...
So I bitched and moaned for the first couple years, until other events in my life took precedence. Those other events eventually wound around to my ‘spiritual awakening’. I didn’t seek it, I was comfortable in my godless world, but the weird woo-woo stuff occurring in me mentally and physically could not be disregarded that easily...but that’s another hub.
Here it is several years later and I listen to the noises in my ears, or head, most of the time. They change constantly on their own. Although I haven’t figured out what causes the variety of clicks or non-clicks, tones, fading in and out, the ‘wah-wahs’ and the volume change, I have learned when I meditate, relax, and enter a blissful state, the tones go very, VERY high and very quiet. And instead of several tones wavering, it becomes almost a singular note - a high frequency you might say. I love it. And it is a controllable effect. It’s like my body responds to the relaxed, blissful state. Simply meditating doesn’t create it though. I have to enter a genuine state of gratitude. It's then that I can listen to the frequencies in my head change.
Another change I can count on occurs if I raise my emotional state. Anger and anxiety change the volume and tones drastically, to a point where I can no longer argue any attempts to 'be right'. (The kids think they're one up on me, but wait until I hide the car keys...hehehe)
The mystery to me though, is why it will change to the bliss effect, only rarely, when I am actively involved in something far removed from that blissful state. It occurred in a grocery store and I stopped to look around and see if someone or something was near me that I needed to pay attention to. I may never figure it out, but it’s enjoyable to research.
The doctor couldn’t recommend anything to help me, though I hear there are devices that can equalize or tone out the noise. But I’m using this unusual distraction right now as a personal coach, you might say, so until it gets to the point where I can’t hear my favorite music, I’m good.