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Tired of Trying...

Updated on June 11, 2012

Tired Of Trying....

by Monica Ortega

Please see and understand this not a poem or song of saying goodbye…Today is here tomorrow shall decide but I’m wanting you to get inside my head to see what others with mental illnesses and how they actually feel like every day. Not meaning to hurt anyone but just wanting so bad to help other’s understand how the mind is tormented every day… And how every day we must put up with such, morbid thoughts of wanting to die or suicide. Please, suicide is not the answer.

Sick of crying, Tired of trying Yeah, I’m Smiling But inside I’mDying…Road to know where, watch me bleed like this pain will ever fade, yeah right? Someday I know I will find my place but it is not where everyone will think…People are to blind to see that maybe this life was just not meant for me…Someday I will say my last rephrase…

One last kiss, embrace it while you can because you never know if it will be my last, One last hug, embrace it while you can because you’ll never know if it will be my last…

Miss me but let me go…Look into my eye’s one last time as I shed one last tear…because it kills me to have to let you go…It wasn’t because I didn’t love you…It is because I didn’t know how to love myself…People are to blind to see that maybe this life was just not meant for me why can’t anyone understand that…Sick of crying, so sick of trying yeah I’m smiling but inside I’m dying…Road to know where…Watch me bleed like this pain will ever fade, yeah right? Someday, I know I will find my place but it’s not where everyone will think…..Miss me but let me go….A mother’s Love…I never forgot to say that I love you my lil princess, every day and no matter what day that I should go away never, ever feel that it was your fault…Never ever feel anything other than you meant the world to me…

You are special, you always have been and I know that you are bright, smart and strong and I want you to promise me something…That you will live your life to its fullest because you now hold the world in your hands…I have put every good thing that I possibly could to build you up to be the lil girl that I see and I know you would…I’m sorry, I wasn’t strong enough to see this life through but never forget That I always LOVED YOU, many people will say things thing’s to you regarding my care and love for you if I loved you so much then why would I go… but don’t listen to them because they don’t know…

Always remember Vanilla Twilight maybe I’m not there to kiss you goodnight, but look into the sky and the stars that lean down to kiss

you goodnight when I’m not around…Love you always, Mommy <3

By many unknown author’s including myself….


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  • monicaortegamon profile image

    monicaortegamon 4 years ago from Ontario, california

    Thank you for your advice if it were not for prayer I don't think I'd be where I am today...

  • schoolgirlforreal profile image

    schoolgirlforreal 4 years ago from USA

    God love you

    I understand this pain so well, for eighteen years I suffered like this feeling crucified emotionally multiple times.

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