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True Friendship: Do You Believe in Magic?

Updated on November 30, 2011

In the old Care Bears cartoon, we were told that "true friendship is in the heart and you'll find some way to make it last." That usually meant that the friend in question was at least a phone call or a hand-written letter away no matter where they moved to, but it was also acknowledged that you do need some close personal friends to remain nearby. Founding relationships can be difficult, especially as you get older and you feel like you're always "late to the party" because your new friends are all well-established with each other and you're the perpetual outsider for not having been acquainted as long or as deeply. It shouldn't be too hard to be friendly, but not all friendships last nearly as long as we want them to.

In the newest My Little Pony cartoon, they identified five elements to go along with friendship: honesty, laughter, loyalty, kindness, and generosity. That being said, the opposite of each can also destroy friendship. Being deceptive, humorless, disloyal, unkind, or selfish can certainly cause friendships to end; however, just like with other relationships, physical or emotional distance can also put a damper on things. Friends grow apart when they realize they have less in common with each other than they initially did or their lives take them in different directions and different places. Staying in touch isn't too difficult these days, except instead of phone calls or letters people use online social media to send messages to each other anytime they want. However, I've found this only works when those people actually want to stay in contact with you. You can be supposed best buds with someone in real life, but when you go off to separate colleges and want to stay in touch online, that person just disappears on you.

It happens. People get busy, meet different people, acquire different interests. In short, they grow apart. They don't always mean to, but it happens all the same. Just as I admire old married couples who are still in love, I always admired friends who could talk to each other and hang out all the time and remain best friends even as adults. Like the divorce rate, however, BFF breakups are about as rampant. When I was in school, I used to write stories about my friends and I having adventures together. Now, however, I'm disappointed to realize how few of us actually remained friends after graduation. The rest of us may not talk much, but at least once in a while we'll have a conversation or two (thanks to online social media, the digital door is always open). Lives change, people change, friendships die. That's not to say they weren't ever true, but nothing lasts forever.

It's important to value the time you have with your friends in whatever stage in life you're at. Even at their worst, you still became friends with them for a reason, and if that reason isn't enough to hold you together, it's at least worth remembering. I've had a lot of best friends come and go, and while I do harbor resentment for the reasons we aren't friends anymore, I will always miss the people they were when they were my friends. I may never have that ideal relationship with anybody for as long as I live, but I still have the stories and the pictures and the memories to look back on.


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    • Born2care2001 profile image

      Rev Bruce S Noll HMN 6 years ago from Asheville NC

      Hi Sarah,

      As an introverted guy who moved around a lot I understand much of your point here and I'm grateful for the writing because it helped me see my former friend relationships a little differently. Even though I left many of my friends behind as I moved, in later years I was able to rekindle some of those relationships via the "digital door" you mentioned. Great phrase! Nice Hub!

      Thanks again!


    • Kristen Haynie profile image

      Kristen Haynie 6 years ago from Modesto, CA

      Great Hub! I think everyone has experienced growing apart from a friend at least once in their life. While it's very sad, it allows us to grow and discover new friendships. The thing about life is that everything changes. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, and friendships are no exception. Cherish the ones you have, and remember to look back on the ones you grew apart from. Hopefully, you can smile when you look back on who they were, and who you were.