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Trying to cope with suicidal tendencies

Updated on September 29, 2014
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What causes people to take their own life?

There are thousands attempts at suicide, but only one in eleven will actually succeed.According to the mental health division,over 10 million people just in the U.S. will try, and sometimes succeed to commit suicide.

There are so many different types of causes for suicides.

In America alone, thousands of people will take their own lives. This doesn't sound like a lot, considering how many people there are in the U.S. .One person suceeding is one person too many.

We need to try to find the reasons and signs they could hurt themselves.We need to learn the signs of depression. It's rare people are going to come to you to discuss suicide.

Most ,sadly, they will act upon those feelings and try to take their own life, instead of asking for help.Often, they don't recognize the signs of depression. They don't understand why they feel the way they do.

There are many reasons why people try to commit suicide. Such as a beakup with their boyfried/girlfriend, not doing as well as they can't live up to expectations, despair, feeling alone, feeling unloved. feelings of worthlessness. They simply want the hurt to stop. WE for some reason are blind alot of the times, because we don't think our loved ones will ever try..

They often leave people wondering why they couldn't see.In the time before they try to commit suicide, they will reach out in subtle ways.Such as, writing dark essays, drawing dark pictures.Saying or texting things to friends,like I want to die, I'm going to kill myself. Sadly, they are not taken seriously.

It has been proven that children whose parents take interest them,and talk to them, are less likely to try suicide.

What can we do? We can really watch our loved one.If there's a sharp downward spiral of grades,depression , not taking and interest in activities they used to enjoy. Appetite,either too much eating , or barely to no eating. abuse, bullying.Feelings of despair. These are just a few of the signs.They need to know it will pass and time will work things out.

If a person is feelings these feelings, then take them for help. They aren't trying to get in trouble. They are depressed.To help keep them out of trying to commit suicide.Lock up any weapons you may have, securely.Lock up medications. Those just being a couple.

Medication such as antidepressants can either work, or cause them to be suicidal and even homicidial tendacies. Please watch them closely if on medications, such as described.

Counseling works wonders for people.It stopped me.

Spend time with them as a family. For instance, going to a movie on a regular basis. This gives them something to look forward too.

Encourage them to bring friends home, make them snacks and let them watch movies or play games.Let them invite friends on outings.Be a part of their lives, and always tell them you're there to talk too.No matter the subject.This gives them someone to trust,talk to.

None of this may stop a severly depressed and suicidal person. If you catch signs early, you stand a good chance of your child not trying to hurt themselves.

There have can be mulitple suicides in one family. .

Please seek help for your loved one, if you notice your loved one is withdrawing from the world.Knowing these signs could save a life.

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  • Rusti Mccollum profile image
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    Ruth McCollum 4 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

    Thankyou so much.I was so afraid to share this openly in my life. I didn't know how people wopuld react. Yet I wanted people to ALWAYS TAKE A PERSON SERIOUSLY AND GET THEM TO A HOSPITAL. I wasn't just saying I was going to kill my self, I wanted to. He saw I had been depressed , staying in bed all day, not showering like I used to,not eating.I felt no one would care if I died.My oldest daughter said she wanted to kill me and attacked me when I tried to see my grandkids.She wished me dead.Then she teamed up with her little brother and they both refuse to let me see my grandkids. I was told (for no reason, I went from having complete acess to my grandkis to having "supervised visits even though they both moved their families in my home for years and I have NEVER STRUCK any of my kids.) My daughter was mad because I had back and heart surgery,I took some of the money I recieved for my back and asked if I could take my oldest granddaughter.We had a seat in the car for her. I was told I couldn't have her unless I PAID for them to go and that meant food , attractions etc.That if I could take one I had to take them all.I said no because we planned to drive and she said I would never see my grandkids again.Then my oldest son (I was married once before these kids had a very violent dad and he was not only violent the whole family was.) My daughter and son said I had to go to their homes to see the grandkis.My daughter attacked me, Her brother would have the baby I helped raise because he strangled his girlfriend and they couldn't be together until he completed classes and passed a poloygraph test proving he didn't violate the no contact order. He claims not to remember it I still have the photos of her neck. They all claim they didn't remember.Sounded just like his dad after hebeat the hell out of me. Yet I WASN"T ALLOWED to see his kids either.I have a 16 year old son with my current husbad, I ditched my wife beater husband after 3 years of his crap.I met Marc, we have a great son with him that saw it all. He came upstairs once and said mom, "c" My daughter, was gonna ask me to borrow ten dollars and tell me it was for diapers for my granddaughter, but they are going to use it to buy beer. So, when she did come up and ask I said welldad jeff and I are going to the store what size do you use now? then she said something nasty and went back downstairs and never wanted the diapers. My youngest son is my joy.My daughters husband put a cigarette out on her forehead leaving a huge scar to this day,he broke her nose and she had two great big black eyes. Told me ,like I'm stupid she got in a fight with the his uncles girlfriend. I told her not to lie to me and if someone loves you they don't want to hurt you, they want to protect you.She now has 3 kids with him, neither are working. She gets on the internet and tells people I abused her , she had to change her own diapers! I shut her down on the abuse part when my mother and my entire faily blasted everywhere she posted that garbage about me.That they watched them grow up and I was young and divorced in a time where society looked down on young mothers ,especially divorced ones. So They could have a better life than living in the projects filled with gunds etc. My parents could get them medical and they would grow up close to me.I had them on weekends and summers.Trust me if I hurt them they wouldn't have begged to go to my home.However you can't get people to send you money because they feel sorry for you if you tell them you had a great life. So when the family spoke up for me. Alot of women wrote me and told me they sent her money one sent a diamond necklace.Because they were told i beat them and locked them up. I was a teacher,in Oregon you get a backround check from the FBI ,if there had been even a complaint about me there's no way I would have been hired.I even got my daughter a job there with a pension, health care for her entire family. She didn't show up for work after ONE DAY and when I called her, she said the work was too hard!My husband got my son a job with all that too.He drank himself off that job. I paid child support through the state ,when they lived with mom. They would set me up, I would call for visits and be attacked and my oldest son made sure that the baby was gone and wanted to know why i couldn't visit him and if I looked at him like he was his dad with the violent streak.then I would surely hold it against my grandkids. I told myself enough is enough,and slipped in to a very very dark depression.I missed my grandkids after all they had LIVED with me for years at a time. My youngest saw it all and he is like his father and i we don't believe violence solves anything. We really don't fight.The next year we took my mom to vegas.My daughter blew a gasket.It was an effort to snap me out of that depression.I really wanted to die. I really did. Last year we went to Mt rushmore and yellowstone.She posted i could take all these trips while they couldn't pay their rent.my daughter can work, they are in their 30's they made their own families, it's not our place to pay for them to go on vacations. My husband last Christmas,played the first song we ever danced to "Secret Lovers" my son jeff, sat by me and grinned from ear to ear. The my darling husband got on bended knee with a new diamond engagement ring and ask me to renew our vows on 12-12-2012 on a 7 day cruise plus the trip to tampa! I am seeing a physciatrist now and on a good regiment of anti depressants and anxiety medication. I had to give up teaching due to a accident. My heart problem is a birth defect.I don't mean to go on so long.I want you to understand the many reasons I wanted to die. I had my husband scared, the not eating sitting in a dark room as I said before.Had he not taken me seriously I would have killed myself that day. While I was in the hospitial,I heard jeff talking to his dad in the hall he said dad I don,t want mom to die, she scared me every operation she had that she would die.I love her so much dad please tell her we love her and she matters to us so much.This kid would MAKE me eat.It affected him ,I feel awful about it.He is a great kid Jaye. I knew then that people would suffer if I took my life and I told my son I was going to get better,that his and his dad's love for me opened my eyes. So much hate to this day i endure from my older kids, that my dr. told me to stay away from them for my safety.He is so worried they may hurt me he wrote in my file that he was afraid for my safety from them.

    Anyways I am better today,looking forward to remarrying my soulmate of 30 years. My son is walking me down the isle to his father then taking his place next to his dad.He is so excited.I'm going to wear my dress and the guys their suits to take pictures of the water in on the beach.Basically with a good dr. alot of love from my family I made it to the other side. I still have days where I stay in bed (my meds make me sleepy) Or I get depressed missing my grandkids.Jeff says he'll give me grandkids I can have all I want!

    PLEASE keep doing what you have, you already saved a life thats a huge deal.If she'd told someone else and they didn't take her seriously, you might not have a friend today. I hope I sent a good message to people to listen and help. 3 days or so getting help in the hosp,is truly worth a life. I need friends like you. Your friends are lucky to have you. I'm sorry this is so long, i wanted you to know just exactly what brought me to that point.Sorry for any typos.I type one fingered.I am so much better because someone believed me and got me help. I hope your friend is better, life does get better. She should cherish you as a friend you are a REAL friend. I couldn't hurt my family.I felt like nothing but then I heard my Jeff and I realized I had scared the heck out of him .I couldn't do it,because even if I just matter to him,that's enough.I have him and his dad.I'm just fine with that. Again my apologies for writing a novel. Peace and Love my friend.

  • JayeWisdom profile image

    Jaye Denman 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

    Thanks for talking frankly about this topic, Rusti. Suicide has tragically affected my extended family several times, and more than one friend. It's always crushing to the survivors, especially when there seems to be no warning. (Not everyone threatens it or even acts as though they're contemplating it.) However, I would never fail to act if I knew someone was thinking suicidal thoughts. I did save the life of a former employee by getting a bed for her in the hospital for treatment. I only wish I had foreseen the other suicides that I didn't expect.

    God bless you and that wonderful husband who supports you. He's shown you that you're worthwhile because you ARE. Keep telling yourself that your life is precious.

    Jaye

  • Rusti Mccollum profile image
    Author

    Ruth McCollum 4 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

    thankyou, I too was brought up its a cowards way out.sadly it happens. i sought help. i had a baby who still needs his mama and my husband when i had a heart attack as i drifted in and out, i heard him begging me to hold on and thru the fog , i knew he loved me and needed me. still, that being said it doesn't go away, therapy helps.it's like being addicted to alcohol. you have to know the triggers.I have to constantly know when my triggers are set off. i know what youre saying.tho it doesn't mean a persons weak, it means some people get so overwhelmed with life, they just feel they can't take anymore. its a really dark feeling. thankyou for bringing up a very important factor I overlooked. it's a point that needs to be said.thankyou and thankyou for reading and commenting.you're right we never know whats around the next corner ;0

  • poshcoffeeco profile image

    Steve Mitchell 4 years ago from Cambridgeshire

    Rusti, you highlight this problem very well. I always think that it is so selfish of a person to commit suicide whilst on the other hand think it is a very brave and yet such a desperate last act. The mind works in strange ways and we never know what is round the next corner. I don't think I could ever be selfish in that way or that brave.

    vote up/interestng

  • Rusti Mccollum profile image
    Author

    Ruth McCollum 4 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

    Thankyou Rodric. Thats why I came fwd.I was abused triggering a life long fight with depression and suicide!Always believe the person that tells you, they want to be dead, the world's a better place for everyone with out me in it. TAKE THEM AT THEIR WORD!I know I tried,someone I cried out for help to,they ignored me. Didn't believe I would.If not for another friend finding me ,I wouldn't be here.Thankyou for taking the time to read my hub.I hope it saves a lost soul like me.Thankyou, for listening. God bless your wonderful heart Rodric!I thankgod above now that I was found.I believe God left me here to share my story ,to help others.These are things members of my own family doesn't know. I was married to a man that beat me awfully.Life wasn't worth it.then I tried a couple times to take my life. It seemed like I couldn't do that right either. Eventually i met my husband of 30 (we are renewing our vows on a cruise ship this year. You see, I thought I was unlovable.Marc has shown me for 30 years ,I am worth something! I can't even remember now the EXACT reason I wanted to die. God has other plans for me!Much luv Rodric to you and our family.

  • Rodric29 profile image

    Rodric Johnson 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

    Suicide is a serious issue that has farreaching effects, even if we don't think it affects us. This is a good read.

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

    An incredibly honest and introspective hub! Thank you for writing this for the hundreds of thousands who feel like you...this will do good in the world if read and I greatly respect you for writing this. Bravo my new friend!

  • Rusti Mccollum profile image
    Author

    Ruth McCollum 5 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

    You want the pain to stop after an accident I had 3 back ops and 2 hearts. I felt like a complete burden on others.prayers for all of you and their friends and family.

  • Rusti Mccollum profile image
    Author

    Ruth McCollum 5 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

    Please be there for her. She is crying out for help. For the mental depression. Try to understand some of us can no longer cope with life.She needs her friends and family too.MY prayers for her and you for being tough enough to be there for her.

  • Rusti Mccollum profile image
    Author

    Ruth McCollum 5 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

    Thankyou for understanding my disease. I have a physicatrist now. I was on antidepressants and tried to run over my husband with our boy who was 12 in the car. I couldn't stop.I tried and thats the beginning of my treatment. I still fight the suicide but I never have hurt anyone on purpose. I'm only a danger to myself.My dr explained to my husband the antidepressants caused the rage I flew into. He had left me righfully so.He came home in a week. I had 4 suicides in my family. I could have been the 5th. I have a man that adores me. He has been my rock.It wasn't me trying to run him over.everyone said that didn't sound like me.It wasn't me.I battle to this day.I recently told marc, take me t the hospitial, I'm afraid to hurt myself. My story isn't the only one like this. I swear by seeking mental health. I take anti anxiety medications that aren't antidepressants. They calm me. I really hope this helps.These things I don't ever talk about.to ashamed of myself. So thankyou all for your supoort.It really helps. May God bless all of you.

  • MizBejabbers profile image

    MizBejabbers 5 years ago

    Thank you Rusti, you really hit home with your statement "Medication such as antidepressants can either work, or cause them to be suicidal and even homicidial tendencies." My sister committed suicide at age 30 because of two things, an undiagnosed thyroid problem and being put on antidepressants. She was hospitalized for six weeks, then a couple of years later given shock treatments. All the medications overrode any professional help she got. All our love couldn't save her. We discovered later that antidepressants only make depression worse in the female members of our family. If "professionals" had only taken her off antidepressants and concentrated on the physical problem that they kept missing, she would have been saved. I say this with confidence because the same thing happened to our mother, who suffered from *untreated* depression for years until her thyroid problem was found and treated, then her depression went away without chemical treatment.

  • unknown spy profile image

    IAmForbidden 5 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

    I vote this UP. i have a friend who always talks about suicide.. her life is in chaos but thanks she survived..

  • time2rite profile image

    time2rite 5 years ago from Navarre, Fl, USA

    Thank you, Rusti, for taking on such a tough and controversial subject. I agree, one person committing suicide is indeed one too many! I struggle with depression myself, and over 2 years ago when my marriage began to unravel, I was hospitalized for grief, severe sleep deprivation, and what I found out was passive suicide-i didn't want to harm myself but at the same time I wanted to disappear and was giving up. Thanks to meds, great doc and medical care, and loving, supportive family and friends coupled with my faith in Christ, I am doing a lot better. I still struggle with the depression, and at times wrestle with the feeling of giving up, but with the coping skills I learned as well as taking time to care for myself, I'm able to not only enjoy life, but also am living life! Thank you for drawing awareness to this deadly disease, depression. The more people are educated, the more lives may be saved. Great hub!

  • crazybeanrider profile image

    Boo McCourt 5 years ago from Washington MI

    Taking notice and accepting the seriousness of what peopel say when they are in crisis is key to helping someone with suicidal tendancies. Spot on hub. Voted up and tweeted!

  • ALUR profile image

    ALUR 5 years ago from USA

    Thanks for speaking about such a tender subject. Sometimes the signs are not clear because many hide the pain. I have never contemplated suicide and have used writing as a means to allow the pain in script or on paper to manifest as the "death" and "life".

    I also heard once, if you feel your life is not worth living, hand it over to the community to help others and make someone else love living...don't take it away from it's potential to heal...

    Check out my hubs as well:)

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