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Unfit and Unmotivated: Exercise Classes For the Rest of Us

Updated on September 27, 2015

Double Chin Syndrome: Key Symptom Of An Exercise Allergy

If you suffer from double chin, take comfort in knowing YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  It's a major symptom of exercise allergy.  Don't fret.  Exercise is over-rated.  Just sayin'.
If you suffer from double chin, take comfort in knowing YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It's a major symptom of exercise allergy. Don't fret. Exercise is over-rated. Just sayin'. | Source

Exercise Ain't For Everyone

I don't feel the least bit guilty about this confession, although perhaps I should. So I'm gonna give it to you straight up.

I've tried exercising. Really I have. But I freaking hate it. Yep, I fear I am allergic.

I don't like sweating and all that unnecessary movement. I'd much rather nap or watch tv. And the only time you'd catch me running is if someone were chasing me. Even then, there would be a fifty-fifty chance I'd just lay down and play dead.

Yeah, I know exercise is good for the body and soul, but so is chocolate. At least that's what I tell myself.

Truth is, exercise ain't for everyone. Maybe the gyms need to cater more to the masses -- to those of us who are unfit and unmotivated.

You know who you are. When someone says, "You have food on your chin," you ask "Which one?" then you slide the napkin all the way down your neck. (High five here, buddy -- one for each of those chins!)

Aww, Now! Don't Let A Double Chin Get You Down

Double chins can happen to anyone, especially when you're taking a photo from an upward angle.  What cruel person would do that?  Take the photo from above.
Double chins can happen to anyone, especially when you're taking a photo from an upward angle. What cruel person would do that? Take the photo from above. | Source

Reader Poll

Do you suffer from exercise allergy?

See results

Creative Fitness Classes For the Unfit and Unmotivated

Who really needs Zumba and step aerobics classes anyway? Instead, the gyms should offer classes that appeal to the softies, thick waisted, and exercise-allergic among us.

Health clubs should design creative exercise classes for those of us with too much junk in the trunk and not enough giddyup to get it done. I have some ideas to get us started if you're game.

Come on, softies and double chinned darlings -- let's unite!

Gangsta Yoga: Let's Brawl, Y'all

Dog, gather yo homies and let's mix it up.  Carry weight and look great.  Live that thug life!
Dog, gather yo homies and let's mix it up. Carry weight and look great. Live that thug life! | Source

Gangsta Glam

Big and Bold More Money Dollar Sign Necklace (Gold Plated)
Big and Bold More Money Dollar Sign Necklace (Gold Plated)

No thug is complete without a golden dollar sign necklace. Aww chill!

 

#1: Gangsta Yoga: Rough Edges and Salty Language

Reluctantly, I took a class at the local YMCA recently, even though I know I have neither the patience nor the focus for this serious endeavor. I sat in the back of the room (obviously — where else?) and hoped to hide behind the freakishly Bendable People.

The instructor led the class through peaceful, meditative thoughts, and I dutifully held my hands together above my head in a prayer-like pose, hoping to somehow blend in.

My mind, however, wandered far away. I imagined a much different kind of yoga — one with rough edges and salty language. I'm already practicing my hand signs and "popping my trunk" in eager anticipation.

Great bling!  Come show it off in gagsta yoga class.
Great bling! Come show it off in gagsta yoga class. | Source

My version of yoga wouldn't involve downward dogs, plank positions, or tree poses. Hell no, homies. If I had to sweat, I would go all gangsta and make the session worth all our while.

We'd sport dark shades and grillz, baggy britches and dollar sign necklaces. I'd demand that you call me "Gutta Gurl" while everyone else would be known as "Mutha," "Big Boy," or "Thug."

Word up. We'd make like we were packin' heat and practice mostly warrior poses, with some mugshot poses sprinkled in for good measure.

Dog, we'd pop, lock, and drop it — and if we were lucky we'd manage to get back up on our feet again. (We're unfit folks, remember.)

We'd mix it up with a good brawl, y'all, but that would mostly be just bravado and posturing. Before we turned our people back to the streets, our session would end with a reminder.

I'd holla out, "Yo -- be cool! You don't want no trouble from this mutha. 'Cause what you do to others is gonna get done to you."

This bad boy is down with gangsta yoga.  Are you?
This bad boy is down with gangsta yoga. Are you? | Source

Wiggle, Wiggle, Wiggle: How Do You Fit All That In Them Jeans?

#2: Frenemy Kickboxing: Kick 'Em, Punch 'Em, Then Hug It Out

If gangsta is not yo' style, then we can pimp you out in another exercise class that fits your personality better. For example, everyone has that one friend that well ... just isn't. She spreads rumors about you, breaks your confidences, and only pretends to be your friend.

Let's get moving and put those toxic interpersonal dynamics to work for the both of you.

Harsh Words Are Just the Start: Grab A Frenemy And Work It Out

Click thumbnail to view full-size
Who would you rather be -- the pink lady or her punchy friend?  Someone means business."Your lipstick is smudged.  Let me wipe it for you."Come on!  Grab your favorite "sometimes friend" and get ready to go toe to toe in Frenemy Kickboxing.  It's like therapy ... only there's less talking.After a punch to the face and a kick in the guts, in Frenemy Kickboxing you can hug it out.There's always room for a smile between frenemies.
Who would you rather be -- the pink lady or her punchy friend?  Someone means business.
Who would you rather be -- the pink lady or her punchy friend? Someone means business. | Source
"Your lipstick is smudged.  Let me wipe it for you."
"Your lipstick is smudged. Let me wipe it for you." | Source
Come on!  Grab your favorite "sometimes friend" and get ready to go toe to toe in Frenemy Kickboxing.  It's like therapy ... only there's less talking.
Come on! Grab your favorite "sometimes friend" and get ready to go toe to toe in Frenemy Kickboxing. It's like therapy ... only there's less talking. | Source
After a punch to the face and a kick in the guts, in Frenemy Kickboxing you can hug it out.
After a punch to the face and a kick in the guts, in Frenemy Kickboxing you can hug it out. | Source
There's always room for a smile between frenemies.
There's always room for a smile between frenemies. | Source

Let's Tangle!

Grab your favorite fair weathered friend -- that frenemy who sings your praises out of one side of her snarled mouth then proceeds to talk trash about you out from the other. Woo-hoo! You're gonna kickbox each other's soft sides until you're fit.

You and your backbiting buddy will trade jabs that will make all those candy-coated smiles and backhanded compliments seem old-school and even fun. Fake friends know just where your sensitive spots are. They can land a low blow then pull you in close to hug it out. (Are we having fun yet?)

So go get your gloves on and practice that footwork. This is the type of exercise that will leave one of you begging for sweet, fat mercy.

Cat Lady Calisthenics: Do It You, Do It For the Cats

With all the demands that come with being a Cat Lady, it's hard to find the time to exercise.  But if you can't exercise for yourself, then do it for the cats.
With all the demands that come with being a Cat Lady, it's hard to find the time to exercise. But if you can't exercise for yourself, then do it for the cats. | Source

#3: Calisthenics for Cat Ladies

What do you get when you combine fitness and borderline obsession with feline friends? Calisthenics for Cat Ladies, of course! Can't you feel yourself purring already?

Between scooping litter boxes, feeding time, and playing with your feline divas, cat ladies lead such busy lives. (Hey, I feel your pain. I'm a cat lady, too!) No wonder there's such little time to attend to your own exercise needs. But it doesn't have to be that way.

Build Your Muscles: Lift Those Overgrown Orange Cats

If you grow 'em big at your house, learn to balance multiple cats with Calisthenics for Cat Ladies.  You'll look great, and your cats will thank you!
If you grow 'em big at your house, learn to balance multiple cats with Calisthenics for Cat Ladies. You'll look great, and your cats will thank you! | Source

Calisthenics for Cat Ladies will develop your muscles so you can hoist any of the following with no problem:

  • overgrown orange cats and tubby tabbies
  • large bags of Friskies dry food
  • 40 pound tubs of cat litter or
  • a humane cat trap with a feral kitty inside, eager for its spay/neuter.

Secondary Social Benefits

This creative class will also get you out among other people — a species which we know ranks second at best on the Cat Lady social hierarchy. Take heart, however. Your cat lady classmates are a special breed of humans — those who love kitties as much as you do!

Meow, my friend! Me-ow!

Cat Dude: He's One In A Million

Men like cats, too.  They just hide it better.  Except this guy.  He's terrific at showinjg his feelings.  Don't you just want to hug him?
Men like cats, too. They just hide it better. Except this guy. He's terrific at showinjg his feelings. Don't you just want to hug him? | Source

Your Instructor

Because cat ladies (and the occasional cat dude) are such imaginative people, the instructor will be a special kind of storyteller who can appreciate the special feline-focus of our Cat Lady universe.

She'll lead the group with enthusiasm — like this:

Okay, Cat Ladies and Dudes, I see many of you have brought your kitty themed blankets, beach towels and workout clothes. Excellent. Some of you even have your faces painted with whiskers. Extra cute.

Now let's practice our warm up. Slowly march in place. We're "making biscuits" or "kneading dough" just like your Mr. Fluffers. Now s-t-r-e-t-c-h! Tail high up in the air. Paws way out in front of you. Remember, you've been asleep for hours!

Stop what you're doing! Do you hear the can opener? Let's RUN for the food bowl!

Cats: Who Can Have Just One?

Who needs a blanket when you have friends?  Lots and lots of furry friends.
Who needs a blanket when you have friends? Lots and lots of furry friends. | Source

Using sit-ups and crunches, you'll practice contorting your body into uncomfortable positions. This will help you sleep better with multiple cats in your bed.

Also, there will be extended arm reaches for when you need to get Miss Kitty down from atop the refrigerator. Push-ups and extended arm reaches will prepare you for fetching Muffin from under the beds or behind the couch when it's time for her to go to the vet.

So what do you say, Cat Lady? Does it sound like a plan? If you can't do this for yourself, at least do it for your cats. They need you!

Are You Jiggly and Wiggly When You Walk?

Be kind.  Does your cat REALLY need to see you naked?
Be kind. Does your cat REALLY need to see you naked? | Source

Do You Have An Exercise Allergy? Know the Symptoms

If you experience the following symptoms, you may suffer from an exercise allergy:

  • a puffy face, often with the illusion of a double chin
  • a chubby reflection in the mirror and difficulty recognizing yourself in photos
  • a distended belly or bloated backside
  • becoming easily winded upon rising from the couch
  • displaying lethargy and a marked preference for napping, watching tv, and surfing the internet
  • fondness of jogging/yoga pants -- with no intent of working out and
  • a strong aversion to unnecessary movement and sweating.

If this is you, welcome to the club of the Exercise Allergic. I hope they get these "exercise classes for the rest of us" started soon.

Strange Stretching: Heroes In Action

Click thumbnail to view full-size
Celebrate your awkwardness with some strange stretching exercises!He must be part pretzel.
Celebrate your awkwardness with some strange stretching exercises!
Celebrate your awkwardness with some strange stretching exercises! | Source
He must be part pretzel.
He must be part pretzel. | Source

#4: Bonus Points: Awkward Aerobics

Sometimes the unfit and unmotivated find their passion. When they do, the results may be awkward.

Whether run, cycle, or do something else, warm up using strange stretches you invent yourself. Let your imagination run wild! You can stretch nearly anywhere -- a park bench, your car, the office. And be sure to take photos. It's important to document your hard work.

Many softies find that their stretching is so strenuous that actual exercise is not necessary afterwards. Now that's intense!

More Strenuous Than It Looks

It may look like nothing special, but this pose requires such intense concentration and poise that exercise is not required afterwards.  Bravo!
It may look like nothing special, but this pose requires such intense concentration and poise that exercise is not required afterwards. Bravo! | Source

Go Forth And Exercise

My double chinned, soft-sided, and jiggly friends ... I know that creative exercise classes aren't the complete answer when you're dealing with an Exercise Allergy.

Sweat is disgusting. And naps are next to nirvana. I totally understand both those things.

But I hope you've found an "alternative" class that inspires you. Perhaps the gyms can help out those of us who are unfit and unmotivated by designing fitness classes for the rest of us.

Until then, I'll be in the back of that yoga class with my mind wandering far, far away.

© 2014 FlourishAnyway

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    • FlourishAnyway profile image
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      FlourishAnyway 15 months ago from USA

      Rajan - I'm shamefully the proud owner of a gym quality treadmill and recumbent bike and my husband just inherited a Nordic track machine from a very fit uncle. None of this gets used but I have the best of intentions. Thanks for reading.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 15 months ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      I'm exercising my stomach just laughing at these creative exercises. Seriously, I just need to shed off a few pounds at my middle. The most I can do these days is take a walk when I can.

      Very funny and enjoyable read.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      Catherine - Tomorrow always seems like a good day to start. That's what I always tell myself at least.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image

      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      What a great hub and so funny. I just got my exercise or the day laughing. You do know that laughing gives you a full body workout. you have done us people of the lazybones brigade a great serviced.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
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      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      LaurieMaxson - I also believe in playing to what makes you a weird, wacky, unique individual, as that is your strength. Channel that awesomeness; someone will appreciate it.

    • LaurieMaxson profile image

      Laurie Maxson 2 years ago from AL

      Love your sense of humor! I so believe in getting creative and stepping away from the norm. As a personal development coach, I want people to have FUN and discover their uniqueness. There are so many ways for people to achieve what they want, they just need to get creative :)

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
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      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      vespawoolf - I recently braved my allergy at the YMCA by getting on the treadmill three times a week for four weeks in order to qualify for an ipad giveaway. I better win. That exercise business is hell. Thanks for reading.

    • vespawoolf profile image

      vespawoolf 2 years ago from Peru, South America

      What a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek view of the exercise allergic! My husband likes to lift weights but hates aerobics, which is what he needs. I don´t love exercise but do it because it´s good for me, although lately I´m beginning to think that I´m also allergic! Ha!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      ologsinquito - I do understand. I'm very on and off, mostly off. Thanks for stopping by. Hope you have a great week.

    • ologsinquito profile image

      ologsinquito 2 years ago from USA

      I'm looking this over again. Once again, I need to get serious about exercise.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      electronician - Thanks for stopping by! Have a great weekend!

    • electronician profile image

      Dean Walsh 2 years ago from Birmingham, England

      Lol, those orange kitties really do look like a workout to lift up!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      Audrey - So glad you enjoyed it!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Oh you crack me up!! This was highlarious!!!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      mothersofallnations - That is such a kind compliment. Much appreciated. Have yourself a fantastic week.

    • mothersofnations profile image

      Mothers of Nations 2 years ago

      Very funny! I definitely enjoyed the article just for your humor! You have a great way of thinking outside the box :) Thank you for the laugh, certainly needed it! I look forward to reading more. God bless you...

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Rebecca - Glad you enjoyed it. I went out on my front porch this morning in my nightgown and lifted my three black cats for my morning exercise. Hope you get in your exercise, too.

    • rebeccamealey profile image

      Rebecca Mealey 3 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      Cute hub on the light side, and what a great collection of photos to illustrate it!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Audrey - You may have just missed it. Thanks again for reading and sharing. Have a great rest of the weekend .

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      John - Muay Thai fighter! That is some serious stuff, John. A fitness instructor! Oh, no wonder they have you toting kettle bells and looking at YouTube videos. Yikes. I can only imagine.

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      I left a comment yesterday. I don't see it. Did you get it by any chance? Thanks.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      This was a very funny hub Flourish, but I'm sure many readers will relate and find it helpful. I have one son who is a Muay Thai fighter and another who is a fitness instructor so I can't escape exercising completely, especially when one bought me a set of kettle bell weights and downloaded a fitness program for me off you tube. He made me go through an ab workout and jog with him last week and I had an aching back and could barely move for the next two days. Oh well, I will do the exercise but at my own pace in future. Voted up useful and funny.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      vocalcoach - I'm so glad you and your family enjoyed this so much. I surely don't enjoy exercising, but my husband is a marathoner and does triathalons. My daughter also loves high energy exercising -- kayaking, rock climbing, etc. I am so out of place. Just this morning she did Zumba and he picked her up from class, coming about 10 minutes early and joining in with the class. Zumba would've been the end of me. Have a great Sunday!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      If I can stop laughing long enough to comment, I want to tell you how much I enjoyed your take on exercise. I read this to my family and they were on the floor (Not exercising - laughing.)

      Voted up, funny, awesome, interesting and will be sharing for sure. Thanks so much!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      PegCole - Yo girl, you and me, we go all Gangsta wit dem tata chips and dip in the back of that class. I'm not about to lift a leg if I'm not required to.

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 3 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      You make me laugh so hard my soft sides jiggle for hours after I read one of your fun exercise hubs. My idea of working out is lugging those heavy laden Walmart bags of potato chips and dip and ice cream from the shopping cart into the car and later into the house. The heaviest thing I lift is the 40 pound bag of kitty litter - but mostly I drag it to its final resting place in the well stocked pantry.

      I'm thinking of adding some of the Gangsta exercises into my ritual, though, after your inspiring hub. Picture me mean mugging you and making peace signs with one hand. (:

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Nadine - I'm glad you enjoyed this. How nice that you have a neighbor who holds you accountable for attending her yoga classes. You are probably extra stretchy because of it.

    • Nadine May profile image

      Nadine May 3 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

      I truly smiled at all the photos you have chosen for this funny hub. Loved the photos with the cats. I must admit I'm also not a very keen exercise freak. I do aim to take a walk each day, but only if the weather is perfect! My neighbor gives Yoga classes, so once a week so I do join her. If it was not for her being walking distance I probably also would have come up with an excuse not to attend but I rather read my book.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Jeannie - I totally agree. I do like that my local YMCA has a chunky chick teaching yoga. Admirable. The last 5 minutes consists of just laying down on the floor.

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      I want to do some of these exercises. They sound like way more fun than being yelled at by some instructor that looks like a toothpick. :-)

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Vicki - This is awful but I even have a nearly new treadmill, a recumbent bike and a tv/DVD set up to entertain me while I walk or ride but well ... it still cannot make me love exercise.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 3 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Exercise is tedious. I'm still looking for my inspiration. Why do I hate it so?? I can so relate to this hub. My best bet is lifting my fat cats! I do take ten-minute walks for my little dog since he doesn't need much. That's about all I can do right now. I use the heat for an excuse. In the winter, I'll use the cold. LOL!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Meg - Blame genetics, darn genetics. Luckily I have genetics to thank. If it weren't for that, I'd be as big as a house the way I live.

    • DreamerMeg profile image

      DreamerMeg 3 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Good fun hub and despite enjoying exercise, I still have a double chin and muffin tops!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      teaches12345 - Glad to help out. Consider it your exercise for the day if needed! Have a great holiday weekend.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Oh how funny! I love your wit on this topic. I do exercise, not overly, but I can so relate to these thoughts. Thanks for the laughter today.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      thumbi7 - Glad you stopped by!

    • thumbi7 profile image

      JR Krishna 3 years ago from India

      Ha Ha Ha. This is so much fun. Thanks for sharing

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Cyndi10 - An old boyfriend once tried to convince me that sweat was just "glistening" but that didn't make it any better. Thanks for reading, voting, and commenting!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Trisha - I'm satisfied that I had provided exercise for the day in laughter. Have a great one, and thanks for sharing!

    • Cyndi10 profile image

      Cynthia B Turner 3 years ago from Georgia

      This was so much more fun that many types of exercise. I definitely identify with the sweat thing. That is not what I like to do. But the exercise is unavoidable because I do like the taste of most food and I have very little willpower.

      You found some fantastic pictures to go with your hub. I can just see the cat ladies picking up their happy, hefty kitties like weights.

      Well done and enjoyable. Voted up.

    • Trisha Roberts profile image

      Trisha Roberts 3 years ago from Rensselaer, New York

      Oh my god this is to funny not to share! lol This was completely just awesome. Thanks for the giggles.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Audrey - Glad you enjoyed this and that you can find the motivation to exercise. Have a great week.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 3 years ago from California

      So funny! I have learned to like it because I feel better--but my first inclination is always to lie down and read and then nap!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Nell - I could help you out with a cat or two? Love your spirit. It's what's on the inside that counts anyhow. Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      LOL! I haven't got enough giddyup to get it done either! so darn funny! and yes I am totally with you on this one! in my head I am a world class athlete, er, well sitting in the chair thinking about it! love the cats exercises, now to go get a cat! I actually went swimming last week! ye gods! before, I could do length after length, now? about a width then drown! Haha! funny stuff! voted up and shared, nell

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Audrey who likes to walk - I do appreciate your kind kudos, girl! Have a great day!

    • brakel2 profile image

      Audrey Selig 3 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Hi Flourish. Your sense of humor keeps getting better, and you find topics for funny hubs. The cat lady was the best with the big cats hanging around. These are the kinds of hubs to read to perk up your spirits. Pinning. Blessings. Audrey who likes to walk.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Rajan - Glad you enjoyed this! Walking is about the best I do, too. Have a great Sunday, my friend.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 3 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      I was in splits reading this. Funny yet no less intriguing read. My most is just my daily walk and I certainly love to make the most of it.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Shyron - Napping and watching TV -- especially when done simultaneously -- are golden. Gotta enjoy the small stuff! Thanks for reading!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      TotalHealth - Now that's an idea!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      CMHypno - I'm finding that I am not alone! Walking is about all I do. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    • CMHypno profile image

      CMHypno 3 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

      Too funny FlourishAnyway! The gym is sooo boring! I keep fit by walking everywhere I can and housework. To my mind the body is there to feel good, so why punish it with all this 'no pain no gain' nonsense unless it is something you really enjoy. I know people who really love the gym and many, like me, who hate it - we live in a big world that can easily accommodate all shades of fitness ideas

    • TotalHealth profile image

      TotalHealth 3 years ago from Hermosa Beach, CA

      Funny! All that's missing from this creative narrative of alternative workouts is uniquely designed clothing attire. ; )

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 3 years ago from Texas

      Flourish, this was great, I use to go to the gym until I found a book about 30 years ago that I love, called Joyce L. Vederal, PH.D. The 12 Minute Total-Body Workout. I have been using this book until it is almost worn out. I also get exercise from lawn/yard work.

      But I also like to nap and watch TV. So I really love this wonderful hub.

      Have a blessed weekend.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Vellur - I often think if I keep telling myself certain things they will become true: "Chocolate is a wonder food." Yo, dog, see you in the Gangsta Yoga class!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image
      Author

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Heidi - Yo, I hope your back and shoulder feel better, D.Dawg. You and yo homies have a great weekend and stay out of trouble.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 3 years ago from Dubai

      I can totally relate to this hub, sometimes I wonder why chocolates are not healthy and pizzas good for health and many more ridiculous ideas. I think the Gangsta Yoga is awesome cool!! Well I sure wish I stick to my exercise routine! Great hub enjoyed reading! Voted up.

    • heidithorne profile image

      Heidi Thorne 3 years ago from Chicago Area

      Well, I'm one who's at the front of yoga class... although right now I'm not with a serious back & shoulder injury last week - ouch! Speaking of down dogs, those dogs of mine won't let me sit around for too long either.

      While I have a pretty active lifestyle, I did get some insight from a friend of mine who lost a bunch of weight by exercising less and eating better. She said that people can easily exercise themselves into getting fat. What??? What happens is that people can get so hungry from OVERexercising that they eat too much or improperly. Lesson? Everything in balance. Even too much exercise can be a bad thing.

      After my back and shoulder heal, I'm definitely down with some Gangsta Yoga. My yoga rapper name could be Down Dawgin. But then I'll have to shorten my name (like J. Lo and Diddy) to D.Dawg. For reals!

      Voted up and funny... of course!

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Better Yourself - Thank you! I appreciate that kind bit of encouragement. With the time I should spend exercising, I will write perhaps another.

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      Better Yourself 3 years ago from North Carolina

      Lol - from start to finish! My favorite hub of yours so far I think! Voted up :)

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Liz - If you've gotta exercise, dogs are a great way to do it. Thanks for stopping by! Have a terrific weekend!

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      Elizabeth Parker 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Very fun post to read! I hate exercising. I do it, but only because the guilt of not doing it is immense! lol. I'm happy to have dogs, because they don't take no for an answer and when they want to walk, they nag me until we do!

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Jo - That's a good one -- Poop Dogg. Glad you enjoyed it. Have a great week!

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      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Well now... not so much Snoop Dogg, more Poop Dogg so I can get back to my hubs. :)

      Once again Flourish, you have me laughing my head off, clever and very nicely done.

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Frank - Thanks for reading and commenting. Glad you enjoyed it, photos and all.

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Suzanne - Now that's a good one!

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      Suzanne Day 3 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

      I am an awkward aerobics fan, as well as getting my exercise in bed....voted funny and up and plussed!

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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      this was one of the best hubs I read today.. and it has to be the photos that just pulled it over the top Flourish I loved it...it was indeed a riot!!!

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      ologsinquito - Thanks for voting and sharing. I struggle with the whole exercise thing but take comfort in knowing I am not alone.

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      ologsinquito 3 years ago from USA

      I'm not thrilled with exercise either, but I push myself to take a walk every day when the weather is reasonably pleasant. Some people practically live to exercise. I've never understood that. Voted up, shared and more.

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Sha - That cat lady class is going to be full! Thanks for reading n commenting. Have a great week.

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      Shauna L Bowling 3 years ago from Central Florida

      Flourish this is a riot! I must say I'm guilty of the exercise allergy. Can't teach an old dog (or cat lady) new tricks and all that. I do clean the litter box several times a day and shoo one of my cats off the fridge, so I guess I'm getting some exercise, huh?

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Colleen - Thanks for reading and commenting!

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      Colleen Swan 3 years ago from County Durham

      Great read. I have just bought myself an elliptical exercise bike. shedding those extra pounds.

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Linda - Thank you for the kind feedback. We'll look for you in class!

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      travmaj - That's my kind of dog. There is an art to napping, and I bet your dog knows that.

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      CyberShelley - Just one kitty? We'll work you up to three or four in no time! I love those orange cats, too. They have an attitude that is unlike any other cat's. Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing. Have a great week!

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Devika - Thanks for reading and commenting! Have a good weekend and enjoy your walk!

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      MsDora - Oh, if only I had had the name of that doctor!

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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Cat Lady Calisthenics is definitely my style. Dog calisthenics would be great but my dog won't join me, prefers to snooze, so we do. This was hilarious and the laughter will be my exercise for this week. It shook me around beautifully.

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      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Hilarious and completely enjoyable! Years ago, my doctor prescribed NO GYM for me; it seemed that I'd get muscle sprain if I just missed a step. Years later, my doctor convinced me to walk, so I do--not often enough. Now I am ready to join your class; it's for honest people who really care about enjoying life, and pets and double anything. Thanks for a good read!

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      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      I enjoy daily activities in keeping fit. Interesting about his topic. The double chin is always noticeable. I enjoy brisk walks. I enjoyed reading another superb hub from you. Voted up, interesting, useful and funny.

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      Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is another very funny hub, Flourish! Calisthenics for Cat Ladies sounds like a very interesting form of exercise! Thanks for the entertainment.

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      Shelley Watson 3 years ago

      This is great Flourish, you have such a marvelous talent for a tale. Personally fancy the cat calisthenics, I have a Burmese who keeps me busy, and I have a weakness for orange cats! Voted Up, across and pinning.

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Rozalyn - Thanks for reading and commenting! Have a lazy day Sunday!

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      Rozalyn Winters 3 years ago

      Another fantastic and funny hub!! Cat Lady Calisthenics looks like fun! :-)

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Rose - Glad you enjoyed this!

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      Rose Clearfield 3 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

      Your article put a smile on my face. Thank you! :)

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Faith Reaper - The Southern heat and humidity make it nearly impossible to exercise without becoming miserable. I hope you're able to get your treadmill! Thanks for reading and commenting.

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      mylindaelliott - We could always design a dog version of aerobics but I think it would be too much like real exercise. Thanks for stopping by!

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      grand old lady - That is too funny! The first time I heard that song I gasped and cracked up. Have a wiggle wiggle weekend!

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hahahaha ... Beyond funny, flourish! This is so hilarious and I enjoyed the laugh ... my exercise for the day LOL. I will walk, but the heat down south is up near 100 now and so humid, it is tough. Might need to invest in that treadmill. The video is off the charts hee hee.

      Voted up ++++ and away

      Okay, cat lady enjoy your calisthenics.

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      mylindaelliott 3 years ago from Louisiana

      That's my kind of exercise! Though I'll forgo the cats.

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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 3 years ago from Philippines

      I take this all very seriously, as I truly am a couch potato. Wondering how to incorporate dog calisthenics...maybe I should just buy a treadmill. Cesar Milan says it's good for people and/or dogs. The Wiggle Wiggle video seemed to have possibilities but I kept identifying with the old people walking past. Flourishanyway, you have a hard nut case with my butt. Love your hub, however.

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Bill - Glad you enjoyed the read. Laughter can be aerobic.

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Tori - If they can put fake scenery to the stationary bike, why not gangsta yoga? Thanks for reading and commenting!

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      The title had me howling. The rest of the article kept me in stitches. I love it....and there are many others who can relate big time.

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      Tori Canonge 3 years ago from California

      Hahaha!!! This is awesome! I really like your gangsta yoga. I feel so out of shape when I look at someone bending their body in a bunch of different directions and I can never get my brain to fully shut up, so maybe that would be more my style! Lol. I do like to workout and it makes me feel better, but I'm totally digging these awesome ideas you came up with!

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Jackie - I was accompanying my daughter to yoga for something she had to do for summer school. It sure isn't my idea, but I'm walking several miles on the treadmill every day while she takes step aerobics, cycling, or other classes that are way too intense for me. Pilates and pizza are more my speed. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Crazy funny! Sounds like you drank some funny juice! I hate exercise too but I do love walking. I could see myself hiding in the back of an exercise class....:) ^+

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Rachael - I've noticed that chins have a life of their own, even on slim people. And some people seem to gain a disproportionate amount of weight in their faces. Very interesting. I love that you have all those critters. Rachel's ark.

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      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Bethperry - Glad you enjoyed that! I do know one or two things about cats. Meow! Thanks for reading and commenting!

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      Beth Perry 3 years ago from Tennesee

      LOL! Oh my, you got me laughing so hard I'm tearing up.

      LOVE the Cat Lady Calisthenics! You should write a book on the subject!

      Voted up.

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      Rachael O'Halloran 3 years ago from United States

      This was a hoot. I guess I shouldn't say so, but I'm so little that if I did any strenuous exercise, there would be none of me left. I walk about two miles every day just for the exercise but I can still sympathize with those who are fleshily challenged though. I have to remember that someday my chins may multiply through no fault of my own.

      I could identify with all your references to cats since I am cat enabled. We are equal opportunity pet hosts, we have dogs, cats, bunnies and geckos.

      Voted up and shared :)

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