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Ways To Calm Down Or Prevent Anger Outbursts

Updated on March 7, 2015

Anger is a normal human emotion and sometimes it may be okay to feel angry. However, when anger gets out of hand or is extreme, it may cause health problems and problems with relationships. Here are some suggestions for learning how to calm down your feelings or actions due to extreme anger.


When you are arguing with someone, the first thing you may want to do is scream and yell to get your point across. This only makes you angrier and more hostile and you may say things that you do not even mean. It is at this point that you need to stop, count to ten, and take a deep breath. When you are yelling and screaming at someone and they are doing the same back to you, you are going to get nothing accomplished. No one is listening to each other. Calming yourself down will help you to get back on track and refocus so that you can both talk it out in a more peaceful manner. Try counting backwards from 10 all the way down to 1 to try to calm yourself down and distract your mind from the feelings of anger.


Anger can be bottled up for many months or years and then eventually this may cause a person to explode into a fit of extreme rage when someone or something sets them off. Channeling your anger in other ways is a healthier alternative. Find a therapist or counselor to talk to about your frustrations. By talking to someone about your anger and what it is that makes you angry, you are allowing yourself to vent and get it off your chest, so that it is not bottled up.

Listen to music that puts you in a good mood. Dance or exercise to help put yourself in a better mood and shake off some of those feelings of anger. Think about the consequences of your anger. Does being angry feel good? Does being hostile towards others make you feel better? Wouldn't you rather feel at peace with those around you?


When you are angry, sometimes you can take it out on other people around you. That is not fair to those people. When you have a problem with someone, see if you can talk it out. Go for a walk first to blow off some steam. Anger can destroy relationships and your own well being. It can make you a person that people may not want to be around and people might start avoiding you because of it.


Anger can cause health problems. It can raise your blood pressure and make you feel physically unwell. Do you feel physical symptoms when you are angry, such as a flushed face, headache or a racing heart? Try to realize that extreme anger can have an impact on your health, so you may want to try deep breathing exercises to help yourself calm down. Also, meditation, yoga or even going to get massages may be helpful in lessening the tension you feel from anger and may help you to be a more peaceful person.


Taking control of your anger can help you to avoid regrets and consequences. It may be easier said than done when you are in the heat of the moment, but take a few minutes to think about the outcome of your anger. Think about how your anger outbursts may affect others or your relationships. Do you want to say or do something that you might later end up regretting? What if the person you blow up at stops talking to you? Do you care about losing people in your life? Take control of your anger by thinking about what could happen if you keep having angry outbursts and doing irrational things in the heat of them moment.


Humor may help you when you are angry. If you are in an argument with someone close to you, say something funny out loud. Try to make the other person laugh instead of making them feel angry at you. Think of a funny word or funny joke that the both of you share. Bringing humor and light to an angry situation may help reduce the severity of the fight and help to calm you both down. Also, laughing may help to reduce stress. Stress may cause anger outbursts, so try to incorporate humor into your daily life to help reduce stress.


If you are holding in anger from something someone did to you in the past, try to forgive and let it go. A lot of people have had someone do something to them that made them angry at some point. If you are the type of person who holds grudges for a long time, then you may want to move on and create a happier life for yourself by letting go. Holding onto anger and grudges can ruin friendships, relationships and even your own health. If someone else is yelling at you in a fit of anger, then try to be quiet and listen to what they have to say. The person may end up apologizing to you for their behavior and may even start seeing your point of view. Practice peace and you will feel more peaceful and have more peace in your life.


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    • Sunshine Days profile imageAUTHOR

      Sunshine Days 

      3 years ago

      Thank you for your comment, Denise! It is good that you now are able to recognize and take care of your emotions before they end up resulting in anger.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      I used to be a very angry person. I would bottle up my anger rather than expressing it. Eventually, it did lead to health problems, mental ones! Since then, I have learned that for me, anger is usually the result of other emotions that I have not expressed or resolved. Now, I am much more able to recognize these and take care of them before they end up as anger.


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