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We Teach Others How to Treat Us

Updated on September 29, 2012

Teaching others how to treat us is a recurring theme in many lives. It’s a fact that people will respond to us in a way that is reflective of how we respond to them. It’s also a fact that it only takes twenty-one times to repeat something before it becomes a habit.

Some of our toughest days are the ones where we feel like we are at the end of our rope. We have stayed so calm, so patient, so centered. We have taken a day at a time and done our very best to stay in the moment, to not worry about the past, present or future. We have kept a positive attitude, done our best to totally get rid of all negative thoughts to the best of our ability. We have savored the beauty in the world around us. We have repeated thoughts of thanks to God, the Universe, whatever it is we choose to call that Essence that is bigger than we. Then, all of a sudden, the side of us that is more human than spiritual finally breaks and we retreat back into our past ways. The ways that were not so beneficial for us on this journey. That’s what makes us aware that we truly do teach others how to treat us. We snap, we panic, we worry, we scream, we cry. We forget all sense of rationality.

It’s in these times that we then get a response from others that reflects our less-aware selves. They snap, worry, scream and sometimes cry. We then feel, out of our human, ego self that we have failed. That we are like children being punished. That we will never be able to let go of our past. That we will never be able to rise above and be strong again. We feel as if we won’t have the self-esteem or self-respect to face others when we are having rough days and to deal with them on a higher level of awareness. A level that would keep us from allowing them to treat us as if we were children. A level that would allow us to be strong, confident and secure in knowing that we can handle it. That we will remember that every single situation in our life has absolutely no importance on our inner selves except the importance we give it.

Life is totally subjective, remember? Nothing and no one has any power or effect over us, other than the power we give to them! Nobody can hurt us without our permission! No event can destroy us without our permission!

We have so much innate greatness, we have so much personal empowerment and yet, so many, many times we forget that fact. Or we don’t even realize it to begin with!

It takes years and years of practice, of unabashed determination, of indelible self-resolve to learn to take a stand, to put forth the willingness to teach others to treat us differently. To teach them we have healthy emotional boundaries. To teach them we are adults and choose not to be “talked down to.” To teach them that we may not know all they know, but they have no concept of alot of the important things we know.

Then, as we walk on this slightly different path of empowerment, we need to remember to forgive. We need to learn different ways of communicating our desire to be treated equally. We need to learn, most of all, to forgive ourselves.

Albert Einstein once said the definition of insanity is “to do the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.” That is so true, it is so very true!

If we are choosing to teach people to treat us as children, it is our choice. If we allow others to treat us with disrespect, it is our choice. If we allow others to use, abuse, or take us for granted, it is our choice. We have different choices we could make. The actions to enforce those choices may not be ones that make us happy, but that again, is a choice. Even making no decision to change anything is still a choice. It’s a decision to do nothing. And that’s okay. All choices are okay. Like my profile says, my motto is: “You create your universe with your thoughts.” It’s all up to you how you want to create the world around you, in your own life, from your own perspective. We all get some kind of gift from all choices we make, if we so choose to see the gift.


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    • Lene Lynn profile image

      Lene' Lynn St. John 6 years ago from Glendale, AZ

      Carrie, thank you once again for your compliment on yet another of my hubs! I am glad it makes sense. I try to write with words that make sense to other people so they can apply it to their own lives and if it works for them, that makes me happy! Thank you for stopping by again! :)

    • carrie450 profile image

      carrie450 6 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

      A beautiful hub Lene Lynn and it all makes sense, thanks

    • profile image

      Lene Lynn 6 years ago

      2uesday!!!! All comments are relevant, sweet lady! I would never deny it! :) Thanks for your input, I totally agree with you! Have a happy Sunday!

    • 2uesday profile image

      2uesday 6 years ago

      Sometimes life feels like a journey on a boat and when you are and at a point when you are enjoying the voyage, something appears unexpectedly which can almost capsize you. At times like that it is good to have the skill to get back on track, positive attitudes can probably make the difference between sinking or swimming. I hope this comment is relevant if not please feel free to deny it.

    • profile image

      Lene Lynn 6 years ago

      Thank you, stars! I appreciate that! :)

    • stars439 profile image

      stars439 6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Great hub and interesting subject matter. God Bless You.

    • Lene Lynn profile image

      Lene' Lynn St. John 6 years ago from Glendale, AZ

      Danette, I totally agree! The mind is extremely powerful! I read the same article and I am visualizing winning a ticket myself! I will let you know when it happens! :) Thanks for reading my work! :)

    • Danette Watt profile image

      Danette Watt 6 years ago from Illinois

      Enjoyed your hub and it is so true that we create our universe with our thoughts. So many times we forget that. I recently read an article about a woman who visualized winning a lottery, down to the amount and what she was wearing when she got the news. It happened exactly as she visualized it. The power of the mind is amazing.