We Teach Others How to Treat Us
Teaching others how to treat us is a recurring theme in many lives. It’s a fact that people will respond to us in a way that is reflective of how we respond to them. It’s also a fact that it only takes twenty-one times to repeat something before it becomes a habit.
Some of our toughest days are the ones where we feel like we are at the end of our rope. We have stayed so calm, so patient, so centered. We have taken a day at a time and done our very best to stay in the moment, to not worry about the past, present or future. We have kept a positive attitude, done our best to totally get rid of all negative thoughts to the best of our ability. We have savored the beauty in the world around us. We have repeated thoughts of thanks to God, the Universe, whatever it is we choose to call that Essence that is bigger than we. Then, all of a sudden, the side of us that is more human than spiritual finally breaks and we retreat back into our past ways. The ways that were not so beneficial for us on this journey. That’s what makes us aware that we truly do teach others how to treat us. We snap, we panic, we worry, we scream, we cry. We forget all sense of rationality.
It’s in these times that we then get a response from others that reflects our less-aware selves. They snap, worry, scream and sometimes cry. We then feel, out of our human, ego self that we have failed. That we are like children being punished. That we will never be able to let go of our past. That we will never be able to rise above and be strong again. We feel as if we won’t have the self-esteem or self-respect to face others when we are having rough days and to deal with them on a higher level of awareness. A level that would keep us from allowing them to treat us as if we were children. A level that would allow us to be strong, confident and secure in knowing that we can handle it. That we will remember that every single situation in our life has absolutely no importance on our inner selves except the importance we give it.
Life is totally subjective, remember? Nothing and no one has any power or effect over us, other than the power we give to them! Nobody can hurt us without our permission! No event can destroy us without our permission!
We have so much innate greatness, we have so much personal empowerment and yet, so many, many times we forget that fact. Or we don’t even realize it to begin with!
It takes years and years of practice, of unabashed determination, of indelible self-resolve to learn to take a stand, to put forth the willingness to teach others to treat us differently. To teach them we have healthy emotional boundaries. To teach them we are adults and choose not to be “talked down to.” To teach them that we may not know all they know, but they have no concept of alot of the important things we know.
Then, as we walk on this slightly different path of empowerment, we need to remember to forgive. We need to learn different ways of communicating our desire to be treated equally. We need to learn, most of all, to forgive ourselves.
Albert Einstein once said the definition of insanity is “to do the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.” That is so true, it is so very true!
If we are choosing to teach people to treat us as children, it is our choice. If we allow others to treat us with disrespect, it is our choice. If we allow others to use, abuse, or take us for granted, it is our choice. We have different choices we could make. The actions to enforce those choices may not be ones that make us happy, but that again, is a choice. Even making no decision to change anything is still a choice. It’s a decision to do nothing. And that’s okay. All choices are okay. Like my profile says, my motto is: “You create your universe with your thoughts.” It’s all up to you how you want to create the world around you, in your own life, from your own perspective. We all get some kind of gift from all choices we make, if we so choose to see the gift.