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Well Buddy, You’re Wearing The Wrong Shirt!

Updated on October 7, 2009


I’d really like to believe that these things happen to other people but the more I live my life the more I get the feeling that certain absurdities of life have been reserved for only me. Let’s make this clear, I’m not acting like a victim here, I’m just stating the facts. How many people do you know discover after three years that the DMV wrote down the wrong sex on their driver’s license? (The first blog I ever wrote - And believe me, that’s just the tip of the ol’ iceberg. But the other day as I was racing around Target looking to get in and get out, I hear this loud voice behind me, “Sir…” it began rather quietly but got louder and louder and there was a humming sounds accompanying it until finally the cacophony of it all made me turn around to discover this woman on a scooter, scooting up beside me with one hand on the handlebars and the other gesturing toward me. “SIR!” she said indignantly. I turned and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t work here.” As I turned to race to another aisle to get what I needed and get out, I hear the scooter backing up and the woman saying rather loudly, “Well buddy, you’re wearing the wrong shirt!” – Don’t Get Me Started!

As I looked down I noticed that I was wearing my Armani Exchange red dress shirt with my black dress pants. I guess Target will be happy to know that having everyone in their stores wear those red shirts is working but as I heard the woman and realized the shirt I was wearing was red, I sort of mumbled to myself, “Well it’s a red shirt but it’s not the right pants to be working here.” I let the words trail off, they weren’t intended for her to hear but I realized as they were forming and going out into the universe just how lame they were. It didn’t even make sense. Why was I trying to defend my shirt? My fashion sense? And why was I trying to use the pants as the factor that would certainly elevate me above being a Target worker? (Not that there’s anything wrong with being a Target worker, in fact I loves me some Target)

But besides my lame response I had to think about the woman who had scooted to me to try to get my attention. I don’t know what it is but to me the scooter generation is just lazy on the whole. Now before you start sending your hate mail, I’m sure that the invention of the scooter has really helped a lot of people but too often I see the people either lugging their scooter and hoisting it up to put on the special mount they have on their car for it or in one case, a woman was actually behind her scooter pushing it. (I can only assume it ran out of gas or electricity or whatever the hell those things run on) This leads me to believe that not everyone who has one really needs one. And now that stores have put them in as courtesy vehicles, people are using them like those shopping carts that they made look like race cars so that your kid could feel cool while you’re shopping. I see people who walk perfectly fine into the store and then they get on the scooters the store provides and suddenly can barely reach for a shelf.

Besides the fact that scooter people are constantly in everyone’s way (this would also include you people who feel the need to bring your double wide strollers into tight aisles at stores with your kids screaming and reaching out to destroy everything within their Mothra-like grasp while you look disgusted that people aren’t moving out of your way or thinking you and your children are adorable). That’s it, what is it about someone in a scooter that instantly makes them an asshole? Hey, I get it, you’re using a scooter but allow me to treat you like people with real disabilities who don’t enjoy preferential treatment because they have a physical or mental ailment, you non-handicapped scooter person. Scooter people have the sense that they have the right of way well let me get this out of the way, you don’t. See, I’m walking so that gives ME the right of way. If you want the right of way, get off your cushy seat and walk like the rest of us. Meanwhile, I guess I need to stop wearing that name tag (just kidding) “Well buddy, you’re wearing the wrong shirt!” – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • shamelabboush profile image

      shamelabboush 8 years ago

      This is a funny story. This exact thing happened to me once in a resto due to my black tux lol :)