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What Is The Life Of An Alcoholic ?
The Life of an Alcoholic
Here we go again you may be saying to yourself. Mark is writing one more hub on alcoholism and his life. Yes, you are so right and i will continue to write about alcohol until my fingers don't move on the keyboard anymore. I need to continue to write my journey and my ideas on how people that are addicted to alcohol can get and stay sober. One of these hubs just might save a marriage,family or ever someone's life.
So here we go ladies and gents on what is the life of an alcoholic?
Lets see, I think I will use myself as a specimen for this subject matter.
First off, I am not proud of my past life as a alcoholic, in fact it is a bit embarrassing to write about my life and to let the entire world know my personal life, including my family in which many of them didn't even know I had a drinking problem at all. Fooled them, didn't I?
I started drinking alcohol at the young age of 19, a year after the legal age back then. Back then the legal age was 18 and I had no interest whatsoever to drink even though I was of age. I worked on my race cars and I was perfectly happy until one day my life turn upside down from a court order that I will not get into in this hub, but anyway this court order was the reason I started to drink alcohol.
As I continued to drink everyday, thinking that everything would go away and just get better, I became more addicted to alcohol.
If Someone Were to Ask Me Now
If someone were to ask me now how my life was when I was addicted to alcohol I would tell them flat out, "IT SUCKED!" To this day I don't know how I was so weak to let the demons come into my life and stay in my life for many years.
Life as an alcoholic truly did suck, but at that time in my life I really didn't care. I was having a great old time drinking my life away and thinking by drinking my problems would simply vanish. Man was I wrong about that one. The problems did lighten up as I drank myself to death, but once sober the next day, the problem was still at my front door waiting to be solved.
Life as an alcoholic is horrible and if you never had the pleasure of being a functioning drunk, you are not missing anything, believe me. Sure having a great time in bars after work to wee hours in the morning was thought to be a great time back then, but bringing the buzz home to the family was not a good thing at all.
When I think today of what I put my wife and children through all those years of drinking and abusing alcohol makes me feel as if i was not a man of the family, I was just a functioning drunk that had a family.
I continue to torture myself still, but I should start to take it easy on myself now, for I made good for all I did wrong in my years of drinking alcohol. I changed my life and made a better life for my family, but still deep down inside me my addiction still haunts me.
I will always be an alcoholic for the rest of my life. After all I did earn that wonderful title of "an alcoholic." I sure heard it enough from those who knew me and now I have to live with it. No problem though, I know I am sober and will remain sober for the rest of my life.
An Alcoholics Life
An Alcoholics Life
An alcoholics life is not a good life at all, even though the alcoholic thinks different, meaning we are having a blast in life and have no worries, but when the next drink will come.
Thinking back in time I remember waking up in the morning with my head banging and the first thing that came to mind was when I can start drinking that day. Weekends were great because I could start drinking alcohol in the morning or early afternoon and not have to worry about having to wake up to go to work. They were the days my family hated because I was worth NOTHING the entire weekend. I couldn't go anywhere unless someone drove me because I NEVER drank alcohol and then hop in the car. That I must say I did right!
Although in my early days of drinking at 19 plus years I did much different. I drove everywhere while being drunk and never thought about it twice. I didn't worry about getting pulled over for drunken driving because I knew I was driving perfect. YEAH RIGHT! How stupid could I be to even think that?
I was just very lucky and lucky that I didn't kill myself or some innocent person on my journeys out to get more beer or going from one bar to another. Very lucky I must say. As i grew older and married those things changed real fast. My wife then drove me and was not happy at all about it.
I always thought that life wasn't any fun unless you were drinking alcohol and having that buzz. Everything seemed like so much fun and things looked so clear like you were in a different world. We the alcoholics are certainly in a different world. A world of denial is what I call it now. Alcohol does exactly what it is suppose to do and that is mess you up and does a great job at it.
My life was ran by the demons of alcohol within, and everything was secondary to my addiction. It is a very sad thing to say, but true at that time I was drinking. I never wanted to stop drinking because I figured, what the hell, the damage is done now so what's the use of getting sober now? I never thought in a million years I would be clean and sober again.
I never wanted to attend any functions that didn't serve alcohol, including family gatherings. If I did attend, I would hide beer in my car and sneak out for a fast can of beer, like no one saw me right? They knew my game, but never said anything to me. I truly was embarrassed of my addiction to alcohol, but that embarrassment still didn't make me stop drinking alcohol.
So if you think drinking alcohol is a great life then you are totally wrong. Being an alcoholic is a horrible life and I pray if you are living a sober life, then keep it that way for the rest of your life. Being an alcoholic is a miserable, lonely life my friends.
If you are the fortunate person that can have one or two social drinks and called it a day, then God Bless you and enjoy! I only wish that was my case, but it is not. I always have the urge to drink, but not the willingness to partake.
The photos are what I live for now. My family, walking my daughter down the aisle on her Wedding Day and doing it completely sober. Alcohol means nothing to me anymore and it will never be a part of my life ever again.
I hope I didn't bore you in my life's journey of being an alcoholic. If you have any comments feel free to write what you think.