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What a way to go - burials, caskets, funeral services, unusual markers, headstones, coffins

Updated on August 20, 2016
Austinstar profile image

Lela earned a B.A. degree in Journalism from Sam Houston University in Huntsville, TX. She has been writing for the online world since 1995.

My Tombstone!

Source

Make plans for your remains

Seventy seven percent of people polled say then would wear a diamond made from their loved one's ashes. They would even wear a diamond made from their pet's ashes. How about you?

Wearing a dead person's ash diamond is but one of the really cool new ways to dispose of your remains. Did you know that you can have your ashes pressed into a vinyl record that plays your favorite music or your final message to humanity? Did you know that the army can take your body and use it for target practice? Did you know you can be buried in your own backyard?

Well, let's explore strange and unusual ways to go.....

My favorite!

My favorite way to go would be to have my ashes pressed into a beautiful yellow diamond. Unfortunately, I have no heir to leave myself to, so I probably won't go this route. However, if I have to have an amputation of an arm or a leg, I just might have it cremated and made into a diamond so I can wear it myself! I'm sure the folks at LifeGem can accommodate that request. It really doesn't take much ashes to create a diamond.

Of course, if Bob goes before I do, then for sure he's going to turn into one of these sparkly yellow diamonds so I can wear him proudly! Actually, LifeGem can take the carbon from a lock of hair and turn it into a diamond just like nature makes. You don't have to wait until you die. Get a diamond made the next time your loved one gets a hair cut!

Diamonds made from creamated ashes

Grandma's ashes made into a beautiful yellow diamond by LifeGem?
Grandma's ashes made into a beautiful yellow diamond by LifeGem? | Source

Getting screwed after you die...

Maybe you think you got a raw deal in this life. Maybe you think getting screwed is the way to go, after all, you're used to it. Some guy came up with a patented coffin that actually gets screwed into the ground upright. The marker or headstone fits over the top and voila', automatic headstone.

I think this is a pretty neat idea. Saves time, effort, valuable cemetery real estate and your expensive coffin is still viewable (well part of it anyway) instead of being covered up with dirt. You could even put two of these into one plot making burial a real bargain for a couple. This might actually be a good business venture if you like designing interesting coffins and grave markers.

Get screwed in the end...

Save valuable cemetery real estate, be buried upright!
Save valuable cemetery real estate, be buried upright! | Source

The Cheap Way to Go....

You love your home, you've lived there you're whole life. Why leave it when you die? It's quite acceptable in most states to be buried in your own back yard. Just wrap yourself up in your favorite blanket and have someone with a backhoe dig a three foot hole for you. If you die in your own bed, you can be in your eternal resting place within a few hours.

The myth of the six foot under requirement is not required. It's actually better to be buried within the first three feet of earth to take advantage of the aerobic bacteria that will return you to dust very quickly. Why wait? Have your loved ones plant a tree over you and nourish that tree's growth.

Just check with you state's burial standards and find out ahead of time how easy it is (or isn't) to be buried out back with fluffy. Put it in your will and you're all set.

By the way, if you are cremated, there is almost no regulation anywhere about scattering your ashes. Especially if you don't tell anyone. You could scatter mom or dad on the Whitehouse lawn if you can sneak in there. I'm sure you can come up with a place suitable for your ashes.

Backyard burial plot and garden

My garden. It's ok to bury me here. No embalming necessary.
My garden. It's ok to bury me here. No embalming necessary. | Source

More great ways to go...

There are so many ways to take care of your remains that this hub would be huge. Instead, just vote for one of these special funeral arrangements and I'll research and write another hub on the top three...

What kind of funeral, burial, memorial things interest you the most?

See results

© 2010 Lela

Comments - any final words?

Submit a Comment

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    7 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Sure, get a room full of cats, lock yourself in with them, and then die. I've actually heard of this happening to little old cat ladies.

  • christopheranton profile image

    Christopher Antony Meade 

    7 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

    If I were to put it in my will that I wanted to be used for catfood could it happen?

    Thanks for an interesting, and funny article.

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    7 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Just checked. Yep, it's ok for Bob to dig a hole out back and dump me in it. I think fencing it off might be best to keep our kids from digging us up. I already have a pet cemetery and being buried next to them would be a-ok with me.

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    7 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Being buried in your yard is legal in most states. I need to do some research on which states allow it. I'm hoping Texas is one of them!

    P.S. Embalming isn't required either.

  • akirchner profile image

    Audrey Kirchner 

    7 years ago from Washington

    OMG - You mean I'm gonna DIE? No one mentioned this to me, Lela! That's right up there with the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus.

    Seriously, this is a very important hub and right before the holidays, too. Now I know what to get my relatives!

    All kidding aside, it's not a cool thing to get caught with your casket down and you need to think about what you want. I don't like to think about it but it's a necessity as I enter my twilight years...or twilight zone. One or the other.

    I love your idea of being buried in the garden. Is that legal? Of course in my case, we all know what would happen....Griffin would dig me up and drag me back up the stairs and leave me at the back door for Bob!

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    7 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    yes, grave ideas, LOL!

    Gus, you have stinky neighbors too? I thought they lived next door to me? Those stinky neighbors get around, don't they?

  • GusTheRedneck profile image

    Gustave Kilthau 

    7 years ago from USA

    Lela (Austinstar) - I hate to say it, but your article had me laughing rather nicely. As to selection, I thought that being formed into a screw-thing would be the most fun, but only if you could select where (and who) you would do it to... how about my stinky neighbor's back yard, for instance?

    Gus :-)))

  • drbj profile image

    drbj and sherry 

    7 years ago from south Florida

    Well, I guess if you don't have a leg to stand on, an ashy-made diamond would be the next best thing.

    Fascinating information, Lela, with lots of grave ideas. :)

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