- Mental Health»
How can I be happy?
When I was a child I was happy, I was challenged and stimulated. I felt excited by change and yet comfortable in my own person, I have always been happy throughout my life.
I used to think that perhaps I was heading for a great fall and I would plunge head first into a terrible sadness, just so I could be given my fair share.
Well it did happen one day. The sadness I encountered was so great it makes me shudder now.
My only brother collided at speed into the wheels of a truck. He died, not instantly, but he died.
It was a dreadful time.
But this article is about happiness and this is where the interesting thing lies. I was still me. The event was torturous and yet I could function as I always had. I had lost and was in distress, yet I could choose to make the best of things that I could. I was ok.
I believe I was born happy.
If you are not born happy, you may have to really work on it. Whatever good or bad things happen to you in life will not change you and result in you grinning from ear to ear. Outside factors can superficially stimulate you to a degree, yet you may never be happy with your self. You may exist for the mundane, the everyday duties but live for highs seeking emotional and physical stimulation.
If however you are innately happy, provided your immediate needs are met, you should be able not only to function happily but to flourish. On your terms of course. One mans happiness could be lying on a sofa watching telly and stuffing his face. Another would be pushed to his physical and emotional limit as he climbed Ben Nevis. They have both shared one thing though and that is satisfaction. They have both achieved according to their own goals.
What I am saying here is, unfair though it seems....If you are not happy, you never will be because you were born like it. Does that not sound dreadful?
When you are young you are brought up to believe that your achievements are judged fairly. As a child it really matters. But when you become an adult, you realise that judges, teachers and parents are actually real people who can be entirely wrong or even bad! Well I would also like to suggest that judges, teachers and parents could be downright miserable because (poor souls) some were born that way. Being the best at something becomes a lot more difficult (just look at something like X-Factor) or any children's TV art competition. They are not fair. They are businesses. Business is determined by money. The world is determined by money. It is entirely unfair.
Satisfaction with your lot. This is an acceptance of who you are, where you are, what you look like and how you come across to others. Perhaps you feel glad that you can change things about yourself, listen to ideas and be open.
Excitement about the future. You realise that you are a part of this amazing thing called the future and to some degree you can influence what shapes it. In other ways you have no control. But is that not just a little bit exciting?
Stimulation of your intellect. Perhaps it is seeing, talking, listening, or even just being able to think about things.
Emotional well being. Be it through family or friends. It is crucial to have people who love you and you them.
Physical well being. Being healthy enough to be able to function without pain or discomfort.
But most simply and (most cruelly) Happiness is determined from birth.
It would seem you're doomed or blessed from birth, yet it is possible to achieve happiness. It is important to think about what you want, then you can choose which mountains to climb and feel extremely proud of your achievements. What I am saying is that each person has a unique set of mountains and once they can find out what these are, they can climb them happily in peace.