4 Reasons Why People Don't Like Complainers
Let's face it: complaining has almost become a national pastime. People don't like it. They don't like those who do it, and they don't really like doing it themselves. Nonetheless, it has become a problem that is infiltrating the fabric of our society and is damaging all who participate in it.
There are many reasons why people do it which include but are not limited to
- a desire to have one's voice heard,
- frustration about circumstances that seem to be out of one's control and
Once people fall into the bad habit of complaining, it is very hard for them to stop doing it and can really damage their relationships with other people.
Constant whining is an extremely negative behavior that only attracts people who also like to whine. This creates a situation where a group of people spend all of their time doing something that has absolutely no positive value and can create only negative outcomes.
Complainers Victimize People
Everybody shares their concerns and problems with others from time to time, but there are some who do this so often that they have serious negative affects on others. These are people who let loose all the time about their
- health and
- similar issues.
When they do these things too often they create negative feelings in other people where none existed before and often cause them to be frustrated because although complainers vent their concerns, they never take any meaningful steps to do anything about them.
Complaining Makes People Feel Used
Whining allows people to literally dump their problems on others. in doing so, they temporarily relieve themselves of their stress while at the same time giving it to others.
The response to this is either to make people so irritated that
- they start complaining also or
- they distance themselves from the whiners.
Being forced to carry somebody else's burdens is unfair. Over time this behavior can cause great resentment and other hard feelings towards those who use their friends, relatives and acquaintances in this way.
People can handle this situation for awhile, but eventually realize that they are getting nothing out of the relationship but grief and negativity. Nobody likes having these types of feelings, so their only option is to get as far away from the perpetrator as they can!
Would you rather ask a friend how they are and every single time hear a litany of problems, or would you rather hear about
- the interesting or good things that are happening in their lives
- be able to have meaningful discussions about interesting and
- hear good news instead of bad news?
I know a woman who really is a nice person who is goodhearted and kind, but every time I speak with her the conversation is a repeat of all the ones that have gone before. She complains about her health, the fact that she has SO much to do and can't keep up, or how horrible the world has become.
Once in awhile she shares news of a vacation she took, but every single time she includes all of the things that went wrong during the trip!
She talks. I listen. The conversation ends.
I'm sure many people know someone like this, and it does get old, doesn't it?
Complainers Emotionally Damage People
The more complaining people do, the more likely they will be to do it again.
The problem is that constant complaining actually changes the structure of the brain and negatively affects those who constantly are exposed to whiners.
This can cause individuals who hear too many complaints to become whiners themselves and develop into people who mostly sees the negatives in life.
When this happens, people start to have problems with their careers and relationships and become increasingly unhappy.
Because may people understand the damage complainers can do to them, they want to limit their exposure to them in order to avoid creating problems for themselves.
It is difficult enough for individuals to deal with their own issues without having to take on those of others.
Complainers Can Harm People's Health
Because complaining raises one's blood pressure and blood sugar by releasing excessive amounts of cortisol, it also damages their immune systems.
This makes them more vulnerable to a variety of serious diseases, some of which can actually kill !
This is one of the main reasons smart people stay away from chronic whiners. You cannot stay healthy if you are surrounded by negativity.
As I write this, there is a great deal of stress in the senior community in which I live. As a result, one man has died, two people have developed shingles and many are suffering from back and neck problems that did not exist before the problems here began.
The place is full of complainers who spend all of their time feeding off of one another. In doing so they cause fear and upset and thus are doing one another much more harm than good.
There is always going to be a temptation on the part of any individual to voice his opinions on various topics. However, you need to understand that stating your views is not the same as complaining as long as you take positive actions that help you to deal with those issues.
For example, if you don't like a particular politician, there is no point in railing against him constantly because doing so will not change a thing. However casting a vote against him in the next election and encouraging others to do the same can change a lot!
It is healthier for people to exert positive energy than to get buried in the mud of negativity.
When people do this, there is no need to complain. There also is no need for them to waste your time and energy listening to people who do!
Has this article changed the way you think about complaining?
© 2018 Sondra Rochelle