What You Focus on Grows
No world is completely dark or completely white. We cannot have either everything or nothing. Have you felt you want to marry that one person or not marry at all. “ I want to be with Him or ill spend my life alone. “ “ I must win this race or else I should not participate at all. “ “ I have to be successful like none of my friends are or else my life is waste. “
I met a young college girl who had lost one year in college because she did not have the aptitude to clear the subjects. She used to be very excellent in her studies in her school. She was one of the toppers. After that year, she had moved to another college to study the subject she had previously liked. When she came to me she was under confident and was bit nervous despressed. I asked about how she felt among her friends and classmates and she said she felt pathetic and inferior. I asked her to write down her weaknesses. She quickly jotted down many. Then I asked her to write her strengths. There weren’t many on her lists. “What is more your strengths or weaknesses? “ I asked. She said slowly “ weaknesses are more.” Her answer did not surprise me.
“ everybody has weaknesses and strengths. Nobody has more weaknesses or less strengths. Just don’t compare the number of items on the lists. “ I said.
I made two circles. I asked her to write down her weaknesses in one and strengths in another. I asked, “Which circle defines you? “
She was about to point out to the one that contained strengths. Then I turned the paper towards me and drew a bigger circle that encompassed the smaller two. This big circle is you. “You are not defined by your weakness or strengths alone but a combination of both. So am I and so is everybody in this world.”
“We have to deal with both. Your friends who you think are doing much better in life than you have accepted this fact about themselves. They don’t believe that they have only weaknesses but they are comfortable with the fact they have weaknesses along with strengths. I have weaknesses too but I prefer to focus on my strengths. “
Focusing is what matters. Discard this mental picture of ‘the Ideal’. We are all mixtures and combinations. Our life is a mixture of happiness and sorrows and so is this world. A mixture of good and evil. Not completely black or completely white, it is Grey. You cannot have All or Nothing. What you can have lies but All and Nothing.
But what do you think you should focus on?
Whatever you focus on will grow. First inside you. Then it will start showing in your body language and manners and then your life will defined by it.
Focus on Success . It will come to you.
Focus on Love. It will come to you.
Focus on Happiness. It will come to you.