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What your massage therapist wants you to know

Updated on November 4, 2011


As i sit here, waiting for my next client, I thought I would quickly write a list of things that we would like you to know. This is in no way shape or form meant to be mean or rude. I'm just looking to save everyone some trouble.

The first thing is, be on time. We run on a schedule. If I book you at 10:00 then I'm booking the client after you at 11:30. This gives me enough time to have you fill out your medical intake form, ask you questions, and perform a one hour (not 50 minute) massage, This also gives me enough time after to clean my room, wash my hands, fill out my paperwork, and set up for the next client without being hurried or frazzled. If you show up 15 minutes late, you're taking time out of your massage. And if you're not going to show up at all, or even if you know you are running late, call. Call me to let me know. I may be able to recoop my losses and still fill that spot with a last minute deal offer. But don't just leave me hanging waiting for you.

If you have osteoporosis, are on blood thinners, or have high blood pressure, I can't ethically give you a deep tissue massage. Seriously. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I don't want to make things worse. And I'm not a small girl. I can lay all 150 pounds of my weight on you. But if you're ribs crack when you sneeze, i don't care how much money you're willing to throw at me, I"m not deep tissue massaging any of you. I like my license and I don't need it revoked for careless practice and as I see it, if you know you're going to cause more harm than good my giving the client what they want then that is careless. The client is not always right. Not in this case, at least. I love my clients. I'm honest with them. I tell them upfront that I won't do it. not can't, won't. And then I explain to them why. And you know what happens, they respect me and keep coming back for more.

Speaking of loving my clients, I'm not that kind of massage. Seriously. My clinic is not a fairy tale. There are no happy endings here. Grow up, get educated. I will not only kick you out and charge you but I will report you to the police for sexual assault and I will give your name to each and every massage therapist I know in town.

Please don't call me at 10:47 pm and ask me if I am available for an appointment for tonight. I put my hours on my business cards, on my flyers, on my website, on my brochures, on my phone message. I appreciate the fact that I am the first person you think of when you need a massage but I need to sleep sometime. I'll see you the first appointment I have available.

We really don't mind if you haven't shaved you legs, armpits, face, back. Seriously. We're just happy you thought of us to make your pain go away. If it's really that bad, we'll adapt. It's what we do. And if things are completely out of control, I can suggest some laser hair removal clinics in town. It's ok. That's what I'm here for.

The biggest thing, and I tell all my clients this. If you I do something you like, let me know. If I do something you don't like, let me know. If it's absolutely horrible and you can simply bear no more, tell me to stop so you can leave. If you really like the way I'm digging into the spot on your back, tell me and I will spend a few extra minutes there. Don't like your feet touched, tell me. You're not going to hurt my feelings. I understand. I personally hate having someone look at me feet let alone have them touched. I'm not going to hold it against you. Just please, communicate with me.

The same goes for my music. I try to have a little bit of everything for everyone. I have some standard spa type music, you know windchimes and flutes and such. Then, I have jazz, disney instrumental, and rockabye baby. I do have some solfeggio tone work for chakra and energy balancing, too. If it's not helping you relax, I can fast forward to the next song. If it's weird or creepy, tell me. This is why I ask in the beginning of the session what type of music do you like and then give you choices.

I'm writing all this out of a two week frustration. You could say this is more of a rant than anything. But, these points have come up these past two weeks. And, even though I try to educate my clients, it surprises me how often the same points come up.

I did not mean for this to come out as ranty as it did. But I hope it helps you understand from my point of view.

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