ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

What's in your Wagon?

Updated on March 14, 2017

We each go through life towing what I think of as our little red wagons. These symbolic wagons carry all of our life’s baggage – hurts, insecurities and our perceived failures. We load it all in the wagon of our psyche and drag it with us. Over time it becomes very heavy and weighs us down. It can become off kilter and cause us to stumble. Sometimes, some of us just sit down, along life’s path, and give up. To find peace and happiness we must find a way to let go of the handle and walk away from it - but how do we do that?

We learn to cope with difficulties and challenges when we are children, developing a defense response. It is a coping mechanism that helps us to deflect our pain. Over time this becomes an automatic reflex and each hurt or insult, real or perceived, triggers that response and takes us back to all of the hurts that came before. Our distresses are enhanced because we are processing them from our “go to” response mode.

When we have conflict with people in our lives –and there will be conflict, it’s a natural part of life – we are battling their response reflex and all of their past pain. Anger is based on our personal opinion and the judgements of ourselves and of others. When we can learn to let go of those opinions and judgements we can be more objective. Once awareness is reached that others have also been wronged and suffered their own pains and trials in this life, judgements can be replaced with compassion and grace can be more easily extended and in doing so, we find that we can also be more gentle and forgiving of ourselves.

We cannot be responsible or control the attitudes and behavior of others. We can only do that for ourselves. Our issues stem from unresolved fears, pains and insecurities because we never learned how to face and deal with them constructively. They are still in our wagons. Rather than feel and recognize the emotion for what it is, it tends to get magnified and brings with it all of the past emotions we still harbor and nurture – and what do we gain from this? It is a selfish reaction – for in those moments, we truly are making it all about ourselves.

Life will present us with turmoil. It is inevitable and we will naturally experience emotions and reactions to it. That is perfectly normal and as it should be. The trick is to channel that emotion into constructive energy that can be utilized in a positive way to find resolution. We can choose to lash out and add to the negativity or we can step back, speak and acknowledge the issue and our feelings about it and address it from a productive place.

It takes practice to detach with objectivity and evaluate a situation – to catch ourselves before we go into our “default mode” but we can retrain ourselves to react differently. Live with empathy, appreciating that we are all doing the best we can and learning as we go along and park your ego and your wagon at the curb.


Submit a Comment

No comments yet.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)