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When Death Comes Your Way

Updated on April 10, 2020

Well, for many, many years, you encountered it on TV, in movies, in the songs you sing, and even when loved ones passed on. You never really seriously thought of it happening to you, not really. That, only happens to others, you thought. You even was denial about it thinking that whatever comes your way, you will recover and live on.

However, now your much older. You see many around your own age passing on. Could it happen to you? So, now your perspective is different and you know that one day it will be your turn. Hard to believe, I know. Life really did zip past.

So, I do wonder how I will meet death. Will it be a sudden loss that tosses my loved ones into sorrow, with no time to say goodbye? Will it be like my mom’s, a more slow, drawn out affair with me gradually getting worse until gone? Will it be a heart attack? A stroke? A disease? Complications from a disease?

Will my end be on a death bed with loved ones and the grandkids, surrounding me, saying the I love you’s, sharing the tears, as all families do? Maybe.

What is the worst way to die? The fast and furious method found in accidents, strokes, heart attacks, or, the drawn out affair over a course of weeks and months, perhaps, years? Having experienced both types with my parents, I tend to think the fast and furious way is better for the living. Despite the initial shock of the death, life really does not stop. One only gets a few days of official mourning and memorial service, then, life’s swift current pulls you out of the mourning with the usual day to day activities. Soon, the sudden death can be handled without crying or tearing up. The more time elapses, the more life engulfs you. You don’t forget the loved one, and sometimes, you hear their voice in your head. This may create a grin on your face and a momentary “spacing out” in whatever you are doing. Of course, you may have sound recordings, digital records, video, of the loved one, but this are seldom looked at because it creates turmoil within you that is hard to face.

A sudden death hits hard fast and furious, but the pain quickly subsides within a few weeks because nothing stops for the death. Nobody really cares except the loved ones and friends. Pretty soon, it is all a horrible memory that freezes a moment in time when you first found out about the death. This memory never fades when you revisit it.

A more drawn out death affair is just that. It is a tiresome thing. It is a sad thing when everyone knows the final outcome, that there is no recovery. It is a costly thing, depending on a particular situation that furthers tension and anxiety. The longer it drags on, the more burdensome it is to the loved ones in many ways. They have their own lives to complete, to carry on with, and for some, the burden may be overwhelming to deal with. If the sick person requires attention frequently, the burden is worse because they cannot do things for themselves like they did. The person who is terminal also feels badly about the burden they have become to their loved ones and as months go by, they become depressed and very grateful for their help.

So, if you had a choice in the way you die, which would you select: the fast and furious way or the long drawn out affair? Are you ready? Even though you still have this sort of denial in your head about death and your end, you also know that it will happen at anytime, so are you ready?

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    • Eurofile profile image

      Liz Westwood 

      3 months ago from UK

      For those of the Christian faith, there is the prospect of eternal life in heaven. Personally I favour drifting off in my sleep, but the way of our going is not for us to choose.

    • perrya profile imageAUTHOR

      perrya 

      3 months ago

      Where does one go afterwards? That is the age old question with few solid answers. But, if you did have a preference, considering those left behind, would you go with the fast and sudden or long drawn out method? I tend to go with the fast and sudden because the emotional shock subsides quicker after initial impact because the fast moving current of life pushes you further and further away from that event.

    • Eurofile profile image

      Liz Westwood 

      3 months ago from UK

      It strikes me that the important thing is not the manner of our going but that we know where we're going when we die. As someone once said, the date of our dying is not something we can write on the calendar. In the UK, solicitors are being kept busy as people rush to write their wills.

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