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When Women Can't Wait

Updated on July 2, 2015

A Failsafe Technique for Women With Bladder Issues

For any woman who has a tiny bladder or experiences bladder issues, convenience away from home is tantamount to comfort. I have had an active bladder my entire life. Therefore, I have learned to be creative when nature calls and there are no facilities in sight. Most of us know how to use the forest on camping trips or can find a remote area off the side of the road during a long car trip; but, twenty-five years ago when I discovered a wonderful sandy beach on the shore of North Lake Tahoe without any foliage, I was torn between enjoying this spot or packing up and moving on. My golden retriever made up my mind for me. She was in the water swimming laps before I could act. (At this point, many readers will say, “Just pee in the lake.” I don’t believe in peeing in pristine lakes, so if you do, you can stop and read no further.) I couldn’t bear to tear my girl away from an activity that made her so happy, so we stayed and I worried about how to relieve myself without driving back ten miles into town to find a toilet.

Bear with me. What I am going to share will seem completely bonkers, but I actually found a way for women to stay on that beach all day without having to worry about using a toilet to urinate! I know, I know; you are probably saying to yourself right now, “Is this woman yanking my chain?” (European toilet pun intended.) And I say to you, “Seriously, this is not a joke, so please read on.”

While I was watching my pup happily gliding through the glassy, clear water, I had the sudden urge to go. I couldn’t leave her out in the middle of the lake, but time was of the essence. I looked around for shelter only to see a beach dotted with happy folks enjoying the sun (and probably peeing in the lake). My instincts kicked in, and without conscious thought, I executed the following steps.

First, I sat on the edge of my towel pretending to play in the sand while digging a deep hole even with my hip. Next, I looked around to make sure no one was looking my way. Then, I nonchalantly reached under my leg and pulled the bottom of my bathing suit to the side of my leg for easy access (and to ultimately keep my suit dry). I ever so slightly shifted my body over the hole in the sand while keeping an eye on my pooch romping in the water. Within seconds, I had relieved myself with no one suspecting anything. Finally, I swirled both hands in the sand to fill over the hole; but to others, it looked as though I was still playing in the sand. Once I quickly shifted back onto my towel, I felt like a mischievous adolescent who was never caught ditching class- free with much relief!

In conclusion, I have used this method all over North America, Central America and Hawaii. No one has ever caught on and I have never had to worry about being on a remote beach without facilities. If you don’t believe me, try it yourself! C’mon, you know you want to…

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