When you smile
When you smile, the whole world smiles with you.
Right now the world could use a few more smiles, so I’m going to give it a try.
I’ll level with ya. I’m upset, lonely, tired and confused. I don’t mind being alone or around others but I’ve been alone and in limbo for far too long. I’ll be honest, my life isn’t crash hot, and in the words of several of the cast of Avenue Q: “it sucks to be me”.
Despite what people think positive people aren’t naive. They aren’t happy because they haven’t experienced any pain. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. It’s because they’ve had it tough, and they know that dwelling on it isn’t going to do anything except ruin your present life. They have chosen to be happy.
So I’ve decided to smile, in the hopes that others will too. Sure, I don’t feel like it right now at all. I’m worn out, I’m falling apart, I’m all out of juice and I don’t know why. And sure, it won’t be a long smile but I’m going to give it a shot to show myself that I won’t be ruled by my emotions. They can only enhance how I’m already feeling, so I’d just be miserable if I didn’t get up and do something about it.
I will try and smile a bit, but it can be hard. When one is feeling upset it can be easy to remember all the reasons why your life sucks – and I’m sure everyone has some. But, if I smile – will you? Will you smile with me? We can remind each other of the good times, and maybe our smiles will turn into laughs.
When I’m alone I have too much time to think about my life and it hurts. It hurts so much I can’t move on. I can’t take another step, or even remain standing. I can’t breathe. That’s the depth of pain I’m talking about. I can’t do this on my own, I just feel like giving up and drowning. It’s as if, by unearthing one piece, every other bit becomes exposed. I have to keep digging once I’ve started or else I’m just going to keep falling into the same hole. I’ve got to keep digging for however long it takes until I’ve found the real problem and can deal with it and move on again - and can properly smile again.
I think I’ve partly figured out why it hurts so much – this whole being alone/having nothing to do thing. Because there’s nothing to stop me from a bit of self reflection. Why is this kind of self reflection so painful and difficult? Why is it so complicated and not something you can do on a whim?
I’m picturing our hearts, or spirits, as puzzles. Rather large puzzles. They are mostly all together, but not all in the right places. Each piece has been put together but with all the stuff we have to amuse, or occupy ourselves, not a lot of care has been taken to make sure they fit together well. Then, of course, because we’re in such a hurry to move on, we bash them in until they fit – Homer Simpson style. Then we continue this process. Wrong pieces are all over the place, but squished together to look like they are in the right places.
No wonder it can be so hard to smile sometimes. It hurts when everything is so mixed up that we don’t know what’s what. And when we start to notice, it’s not so easy to fix. First of all, they are stuck good and proper – it’s going to take some effort to un-stick that first piece. I didn’t realize ‘till now that this is only the first step – it’s not over yet. If you leave it like that, it’s just going to tear you up inside.
When you’ve detached the first piece, there is a right spot for it, but that spot isn’t free. Now you’ve got to uproot the one in its’ place before you can get this one back where it belongs. Then comes more pain.
When you start to get a few pieces back in their right places you’ll feel the difference. So much so, that you’ll want to smile. Then others will see the change, and they’ll want to smile too. So, take some time for you , sort out the pieces in your life, and smile. Because God knows the world could sure use a few more.