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Where did my hair go ? OH NO!

Updated on June 29, 2013

Did you know that 2 out of every 5 men have a hereditary gene, which makes them susceptible to premature baldness ? I'm going to guess that you didn't know this and I didn't know this either. Mainly because this isn't a fact ? I made it up but it did sound good, right ? Anyhow, baldness, why oh why did I pick this subject. This is mainly due to staring at my father's bald head and realizing that this subject would be so ingenious to speak on. Furthermore, the main causes of baldness deals with many variables, not only genes. Other causes of baldness are the food that you intake, children, bills, "the five stages of baldness", children, work, children, poor hair treatment, and children. Didn't I mention children ?

Source

1. Food

One of the main reasons why men go bald is due to poor nutrition and food intake. The ribs, the hot dogs, the chicken, and the non fruit and non veggie meals tend to catch up to you. Your hair needs protein, which is in foods such as fish and chicken breast. Also, your hair needs Vitamin A and Calcium. Vitamin A and Calcium are found in foods such as lettuce, cabbage, milk, or cheese. I know you've heard of greens before, men. Try to eat more of it! Others wise you will soon see yourself entering the five stages of baldness. Dun.....dun......................dunnnnnn.

2. Bills

As you become older, you tend to take on more responsibility. Some of these new responsibilities include bills! Whyyyyy?!?!? Well as a young one, you might have rebelled at some point. Threatened to leave the house even and set up your own apartment, right ? Well don't you wish you were still a kid... I do...I am ? Anywho, the point of the matter is to not become too stressed out over bills. Take a moment or two to yourself. Breathe in and out really fast and push. wait wrong topic here. oh. Find a possible stress reliever that can take you away from reality for a moment. Dig up one of those old childhood hobbies and get to work. Pay as much as you can for the bills at each time and think to yourself that in due time, things will get better.

3. Five Stages of Baldness

...a. Denial: This stage occurs when your friend tells you that they think you are going bald and you don't believe him/her cause he or she is obviously delusional or drunk and just trying to be an asshole. No they are being a friend a very brutal friend but honest in a sense.

...b. Anger: This stage occurs when you realize that your friend was right and that they weren't drunk and were only hungover greatly from the night before. How did this happen ?

...c. Bargaining: This stage occurs when you realize that you should have listened to your hungover friend who was being slight assholish in his approach. You begin to wonder and think of questions such as Why didn't I listen ? What must I do to prevent this from further damage ?

...d. Depression: This stage occurs when you've tried all of the hair products and consulted with specialized doctors, but nothing seems to work. You use to have luscious hair and now its all gone. In the blink of an eye... You cry hysterically because you have lost your luscious brown locks... you are now a girl and you now have a mangina. You get on your knees in the pouring rain while staring at the sky on a dark/cold night and scream. whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

...e. Acceptance: This stage occurs when you realized that you have to start thinking of new styles for your baldness.Nothing further can be done! How about the combover style !? This is where you take those three little strands you have left and comb them over the bald spot as if that would help. It doesn't. But if it makes you feel better, then what the hay.

4. Work

The majority of the human race works on average about 35.2 hours a week, a study has shown. Another study has also been shown that the previous statement is not true, in any shape or form. In a sense, humans become overworked and underpaid. Loathing to live the life of someone who doesn't have to do anything but yet still makes money to sustain a normal and stable life. In a man's case, the amount of work that must be done causes stress, pressure from the boss to come up with new ideas causes stress, promotions to a higher end job which means more work causes stress, only being able to look at the new hot twenty one year old and not being able to touch since your married while at work causes stress. So many variables that cause stress which leads to hair falling out. The best way to avoid these stressful situations is to work around it. Whenever you see the twenty one year old tell her to wear a paper bag, tell her that you were able to go a year wearing a paper bag and that if she beats that year you give chewing gum specifically Orbit.

5. Poor Hair Treatment

The products that you use in your hair may cause your hair to become too dry, too think. and easily breakable. The best way to go about hair products is to use products that dont contain alcohol which dries out hair and causes it to think, avoid sulfates and parabens, which greatly damage the hair. Last but not least avoid lather hair while singing awfully in the shower, this causes your hair to become afraid and to shrivel back down into your head. Just saying...

6. Last But Not Least Children

In all honesty, as a parent, I think that it is okay for you to tell your children "it's stress relief time" ill come play with you in about ten minutes. In other words, work your way around your children. Im not saying use this tip as a way to raise your children. Oh no. If you do, you will see as they get older, they will have serious mental issues stemming from the phrase its stress relief time.

Have you noticed a recent loss in hair due to one of the possible causes below ?

See results

Poor Nutrition

Have you noticed how if you ate healthier and more nutritious foods that not only does your hair grow, but your health improves and your attitude changes for the better.

Children

Escape from your children at least once a month, otherwise you will drive yourself crazy.

Poor Hair Treatment

Use basic shampoo and conditioner from the dollar store. It says so in the hair manual.

Money

It is the root of all evil. remember that...

Source

Fact 1: Poor eating habits can contribute to hair loss or hair not growing.

Fact 2: Poor eating also contributes to obesity due to the decrease of your metabolism as you age, which in sense means as you intake food, your body burns off calories at a slower rate. You are skip and a stone away from looking eight months pregnant for the rest of your life.

Fact 3. Stress causes hair loss. Get rid of kids. Pay off the bills, when you can.

Fact 4. Using the wrong products for your hair type damages your hair. You might as well put mayonnaise in your hair and call it a day.

Fact 1: Lack of sex doesn't relieve stress which causes hair loss. have sex by any means necessary. use protection. don't choose a random stranger.

Fact 2: Enjoy life. Baldness is apart of life. One day you will accept this in the mean time you may continue to panic and screech, as your hair begins to whither away.

Fact 3: Men like their hair because women compliment them on it, hence without their hair, they tend to lose a part of their manhood. Confidence will be regained later on in life. At the moment, you are insecure without your hair, don't talk to family members or friends, they will laugh and make it work. Please go to B.F.A. also known as Balding Fast Anonymous.

Ethnicity
Age of Premature Hair Loss
Age of Mature Hair Loss
African American
19
26
Caucasian
25
30
Hispanic
Never
Never
Source

In conclusion, if you are going bald, you must remember to not freak out and that you are not alone! There are millions of men in the United States alone, who are going bald at the ripe age of eighteen, while you maybe going bald at the age of thirty. Its okay. If you do feel passionate about your hair and you want to make a stance, start a group and call yourselves M.A.D. also known as "Men that are Afraid of going bald, Damn it!" This way the name of your group also reflects your correct mood. Catch my drift ?

P.S. All of these causes apply to women as well and none of the facts or statistics that I mentioned are true.

Here below are other stories of mine that you might enjoy:

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    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      You're a great storyteller, Torrilynn. So who knows the truth? The M.A.D group might still be a good idea,

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @MsDora thanks for liking my story and also for commenting and giving such positive feedback.

    • Temi Benjamin profile image

      Temi Benjamin 3 years ago from Europe.

      I loved this hub! I was laughing the whole time, voted up and shared. Will definitely send this out to some of male friends to freak 'em out. Lol!

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @Temi Benjamin thanks for commenting and im glad that you liked my hub :)

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I really do not know the true facts but i enjoyed your humorous take on baldness. ..

    • Marlin 55 profile image

      Marlin 55 3 years ago from USA

      Great article. I can relate! It was very well written and funny. I can now laugh at my thinning locks and understand why my hair is beginning to bail on me.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @Marlin55 thanks for reading my article and im glad that you found it funny !

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @alwaysexploring thanks for reading my article im glad you liked it !

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 3 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      my hubby hair keeps falling off everyday. The floor sink hole is always clogged with his hairs. Maybe some of these reasons result to it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @peachpurple you are more than welcome and thanks for commenting.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Very amusing. I think that we should all photocopy it and put it in the mens' room at work.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @aviannovice thanks for the positive feedback and im glad you liked it !

    • janetwrites profile image

      Janet Giessl 3 years ago from Georgia country

      I enjoyed reading this hub as it was informative and funny at the same time.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @janetwrites im glad you enjoyed my hub thanks for commenting

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 3 years ago from Nepal

      There is so much facts and fictions regarding hair loss. However, your points seem valid. I will try to skip every possible thing so that I will have nice hair until I become as old as my father. (Interestingly, at 66 my father still has thick hair.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @Vinaya thanks for the positive feedback. Its surprises me that your father still has thick and nice hair. Overall, Im glad you liked my hub.

    • Man of Strength profile image

      Man of Strength 3 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Hi Torrilynn,

      This is funny. I have my hair but I'm graying, rapidly. If I start t0 go bald then I will shave it all off. There's no way I'm doing the "Fred Sanford" look. I wrote a limerick about going bald. Voted up and funny.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @ManOfStrength im glad that you found this funny and that you really liked it. Thanks for stopping by and reading.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 3 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      I liked the way you interspersed the info with funny digs. Though baldness is a fact and heredity has a big role to keep or lose hair, other factors that you mention here do weigh in!

      Voted up, interesting and shared.

    • pinto2011 profile image

      Subhas 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Hi torrilynn! Very nice to go through your interesting read about this worldwide phenomenon which has intrigued human race for ages and scores of industries are doing brisk business on the backdrop of this human dilemma.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @pinto2011 i agree with everything you have said. thanks for your comment.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @rajanjolly thanks for liking my hub and for sharing this with others !

    • Zubair Ahmed profile image

      Zubair Ahmed 3 years ago

      Ahhh great hub, just in time for me. My hair is thinning quite badly and there is nothing that I can do to stop it from happening (the worry of a future bold head :-(( ). Thank you for sharing.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @Zubair Ahmed you are more than welcome and I thank you for stopping by and lending your kind words!

    • dghbrh profile image

      deergha 3 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

      Nice hub....Interesting topic as well. Shared and votes ++++++

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @dghbrh im glad that you liked my hub. Thanks for voting up and sharing.

    • Man of Strength profile image

      Man of Strength 3 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Hi Torrilynn, I have a a new hub about hair as well. This hub is great. You are a natural by the way.

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @manofstrength thanks for the compliment !

    • Man of Strength profile image

      Man of Strength 3 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      You're welcome. Keep up the good work.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      I had a little hair loss a while ago... thank goodness that is sorted out!! Will bookmark and share!

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @midget38 thanks for sharing this with others and im glad you figured out the reason for your hair loss

    • Storytellersrus profile image

      Barbara 3 years ago from Stepping past clutter

      This is so funny! I think you have solved the issue, torrilynn!!! Great job!

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @Storytellerrus haha why thank you... I think I might have as well.. Well im sure some would disagree :)

    • Ben Zoltak profile image

      Ben Zoltak 3 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA

      Pretty funny stuff, lots of facts, or not.

      Ben

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 3 years ago

      @BenZoltak thanks for liking my article.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Interesting! I enjoyed the facts about hair needs here. Voted up!

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 2 years ago

      @DDE thanks for reading my hub and for voting it up.

    • DrMark1961 profile image

      Dr Mark 2 years ago from The Beach of Brazil

      I noticed my hair thinning at 17! I think I need to have a special category in your chart on age loss. Maybe I started college too soon and my hair loss was because of all the stress--gotta blame it on something, right?

    • torrilynn profile image
      Author

      torrilynn 2 years ago

      @DrMark1961 haha yes we must always come up with an excuse as to why things are the way they are. thanks for commenting and im glad you read my hub.

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