Where did my hair go ? OH NO!
Did you know that 2 out of every 5 men have a hereditary gene, which makes them susceptible to premature baldness ? I'm going to guess that you didn't know this and I didn't know this either. Mainly because this isn't a fact ? I made it up but it did sound good, right ? Anyhow, baldness, why oh why did I pick this subject. This is mainly due to staring at my father's bald head and realizing that this subject would be so ingenious to speak on. Furthermore, the main causes of baldness deals with many variables, not only genes. Other causes of baldness are the food that you intake, children, bills, "the five stages of baldness", children, work, children, poor hair treatment, and children. Didn't I mention children ?
One of the main reasons why men go bald is due to poor nutrition and food intake. The ribs, the hot dogs, the chicken, and the non fruit and non veggie meals tend to catch up to you. Your hair needs protein, which is in foods such as fish and chicken breast. Also, your hair needs Vitamin A and Calcium. Vitamin A and Calcium are found in foods such as lettuce, cabbage, milk, or cheese. I know you've heard of greens before, men. Try to eat more of it! Others wise you will soon see yourself entering the five stages of baldness. Dun.....dun......................dunnnnnn.
As you become older, you tend to take on more responsibility. Some of these new responsibilities include bills! Whyyyyy?!?!? Well as a young one, you might have rebelled at some point. Threatened to leave the house even and set up your own apartment, right ? Well don't you wish you were still a kid... I do...I am ? Anywho, the point of the matter is to not become too stressed out over bills. Take a moment or two to yourself. Breathe in and out really fast and push. wait wrong topic here. oh. Find a possible stress reliever that can take you away from reality for a moment. Dig up one of those old childhood hobbies and get to work. Pay as much as you can for the bills at each time and think to yourself that in due time, things will get better.
3. Five Stages of Baldness
...a. Denial: This stage occurs when your friend tells you that they think you are going bald and you don't believe him/her cause he or she is obviously delusional or drunk and just trying to be an asshole. No they are being a friend a very brutal friend but honest in a sense.
...b. Anger: This stage occurs when you realize that your friend was right and that they weren't drunk and were only hungover greatly from the night before. How did this happen ?
...c. Bargaining: This stage occurs when you realize that you should have listened to your hungover friend who was being slight assholish in his approach. You begin to wonder and think of questions such as Why didn't I listen ? What must I do to prevent this from further damage ?
...d. Depression: This stage occurs when you've tried all of the hair products and consulted with specialized doctors, but nothing seems to work. You use to have luscious hair and now its all gone. In the blink of an eye... You cry hysterically because you have lost your luscious brown locks... you are now a girl and you now have a mangina. You get on your knees in the pouring rain while staring at the sky on a dark/cold night and scream. whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
...e. Acceptance: This stage occurs when you realized that you have to start thinking of new styles for your baldness.Nothing further can be done! How about the combover style !? This is where you take those three little strands you have left and comb them over the bald spot as if that would help. It doesn't. But if it makes you feel better, then what the hay.
The majority of the human race works on average about 35.2 hours a week, a study has shown. Another study has also been shown that the previous statement is not true, in any shape or form. In a sense, humans become overworked and underpaid. Loathing to live the life of someone who doesn't have to do anything but yet still makes money to sustain a normal and stable life. In a man's case, the amount of work that must be done causes stress, pressure from the boss to come up with new ideas causes stress, promotions to a higher end job which means more work causes stress, only being able to look at the new hot twenty one year old and not being able to touch since your married while at work causes stress. So many variables that cause stress which leads to hair falling out. The best way to avoid these stressful situations is to work around it. Whenever you see the twenty one year old tell her to wear a paper bag, tell her that you were able to go a year wearing a paper bag and that if she beats that year you give chewing gum specifically Orbit.
5. Poor Hair Treatment
The products that you use in your hair may cause your hair to become too dry, too think. and easily breakable. The best way to go about hair products is to use products that dont contain alcohol which dries out hair and causes it to think, avoid sulfates and parabens, which greatly damage the hair. Last but not least avoid lather hair while singing awfully in the shower, this causes your hair to become afraid and to shrivel back down into your head. Just saying...
6. Last But Not Least Children
In all honesty, as a parent, I think that it is okay for you to tell your children "it's stress relief time" ill come play with you in about ten minutes. In other words, work your way around your children. Im not saying use this tip as a way to raise your children. Oh no. If you do, you will see as they get older, they will have serious mental issues stemming from the phrase its stress relief time.
Have you noticed a recent loss in hair due to one of the possible causes below ?
Have you noticed how if you ate healthier and more nutritious foods that not only does your hair grow, but your health improves and your attitude changes for the better.
Escape from your children at least once a month, otherwise you will drive yourself crazy.
Poor Hair Treatment
Use basic shampoo and conditioner from the dollar store. It says so in the hair manual.
It is the root of all evil. remember that...
Fact 1: Poor eating habits can contribute to hair loss or hair not growing.
Fact 2: Poor eating also contributes to obesity due to the decrease of your metabolism as you age, which in sense means as you intake food, your body burns off calories at a slower rate. You are skip and a stone away from looking eight months pregnant for the rest of your life.
Fact 3. Stress causes hair loss. Get rid of kids. Pay off the bills, when you can.
Fact 4. Using the wrong products for your hair type damages your hair. You might as well put mayonnaise in your hair and call it a day.
Fact 1: Lack of sex doesn't relieve stress which causes hair loss. have sex by any means necessary. use protection. don't choose a random stranger.
Fact 2: Enjoy life. Baldness is apart of life. One day you will accept this in the mean time you may continue to panic and screech, as your hair begins to whither away.
Fact 3: Men like their hair because women compliment them on it, hence without their hair, they tend to lose a part of their manhood. Confidence will be regained later on in life. At the moment, you are insecure without your hair, don't talk to family members or friends, they will laugh and make it work. Please go to B.F.A. also known as Balding Fast Anonymous.
Age of Premature Hair Loss
Age of Mature Hair Loss
In conclusion, if you are going bald, you must remember to not freak out and that you are not alone! There are millions of men in the United States alone, who are going bald at the ripe age of eighteen, while you maybe going bald at the age of thirty. Its okay. If you do feel passionate about your hair and you want to make a stance, start a group and call yourselves M.A.D. also known as "Men that are Afraid of going bald, Damn it!" This way the name of your group also reflects your correct mood. Catch my drift ?
P.S. All of these causes apply to women as well and none of the facts or statistics that I mentioned are true.
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