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Who I Am: I Am Not What I Have Done, I Am What I Have Overcome
Sometimes people do things that hurt others, and they are defined by the things they have done…but don’t think of me as the things I have done. I am not what I have done, the bad decisions that I have made in my life will not describe me nor define who I am as a person. At times, good people make bad decisions, and that choice makes them question who am I? I have spent years of my life searching to learn who I am to my core to know the characteristics that define and explain my very existence in this world. Presently here is who I find myself to be.
In my lifetime, I have struggled, engage in battle and had days where I wanted nothing more than just to shed the very skin that describes me. I have cried, I have hoped, and I have prayed, and I also want to remove my beautiful black hair from the roots to eliminate the past that many judges of me. Although I used to want to remove my skin and cut the hair that many looks at to define me, I have learned to rid myself of every feature that allows me to be identified as Negro or an "Other."
At one point in my life, I allowed myself to believe what people thought or said about me. As some felt my voice or lifestyle was not in what they accept. When sudden people look at me, they see me as if I were unworthy to be in the same room as them or my skills are less than theirs. But through all of this, I have come to the reality that if I wait for people to think of me as what my value is worth or give me the respect I deserve, I will never in a million years get what my worth.
Currently, I'm doing nothing more than being unapologetically for me as I am a female, a black woman who have been rejected for this title that has always seemed to come with some negatives and advantages, yet I overcome. Over the years, as I developed into a mature woman, I have learned to demand respect and become many things, I am a friend, a child of God, a sister, a belief that I can, and I am an overcomer who now loves herself. No, it wasn't easy, but I have wanted nothing more than to know my truth, self since I am a black woman, I am beautiful, and I am gratified. So, don't judge me based on my past...I'm different now, and I am not what I have done.
I am a friend, a sister, a mother and I am a conqueror. There are things about me that no one can explain, but me that makes me different from everyone else. I am one of a kind, so unique, and this one individual quality has made me stand out from the rest of society. But please, do not confuse me with what people say or think about me, I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become, an overcomer.
I am a woman who knows how to love. I love and love and love until I have no more love to give. However, I learn through Jesus Christ to love people who don't like me, people who most people wouldn't love, people who have hurt me or don't care about me. I have loved people who have done nothing but take advantage of my love and hurt my heart repeatedly. I have loved people who have done nothing but benefit from me as they take and take and take until nothing left and neither are they.
I am and love being a writer. I apply ink onto blank pages as I write and release all stress until I no longer feel the things that bother me inside. I write until I'm happy as nobody deserves to know all my troubles and secrets that always seem to hunt me except the pen and paper. I write when I'm stressed or when I find myself feeling lost. Writing help me to release all worries and express myself which helps me express myself in refreshing and unusual ways and find my way back to myself. Also, it helps me let go of anything that I refuse to hold onto and continue to express myself.
So, I have a choice, and I choose to focus on knowing who I am and bettering the person that I am, rather than allow other to make me a person I am not sure. I am unashamedly and proud to say that I learn who I am. Today in 2017, I think it's time that people know me, the real me, as I can express who I am and paint my own canvas to put in words just who I am. A brief outline, I am a woman, a black woman with multi-skills such as creative writing, Executive Administrative Assistant, customer service, manager, accounting/bookkeeping, and payroll. A child of God, a mother, a friend, a sister, a conqueror, fearless, blessed and I am not what has happened to me; I am what I choose to become and that is an over comer.
Who I am: I am not what I have done, I am what I have overcome.
What Do you Think? Have you suffered from doing things that hurt others, and they defined you by the pain you cause? If so, what was your approach?
How Well Do You Know Yourself?
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Casting Crowns - Who am I with lyrics
The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you
Audrey Auld 'I Am Not What I Have Done'
I'm a very strong woman, a wonderful person and I know my worth!
© 2017 Pam Morris