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Who the Heck Are You? Love Is Not Free Will?

Updated on February 22, 2018
Ericdierker profile image

Holding degrees in philosophy and Law. Formal studies or certificates or degrees in business, theology, insurance and security. Ex-preacher.

Roses

I just simply love my roses
I just simply love my roses | Source

Not My Fault

Well someone sent me this message. I wrote something about love and that we do not need to understand it. Of course I waxed eloquent with ranting and Dierker dogma. But in the end it was just plain old “I don’t get it completely”. I cannot hold love. I don’t get to be love. I cannot touch love. I cannot wish love. I cannot really know love.

What the heck; I love. No I do not wake up in the morning asking in my prayers to love. Tried that and lost it. I cannot ask of others to love me and I cannot decide who and when to love. There is something about wives and children that makes me love but I cannot say that 1+1 equals love. I really really love nature. I cannot know why. I used to love ice cream. But now I am losing weight and do not love it anymore. I have carried a large 55 pound backpack; painful and I still love it. I love it when my sons beat me in battle from chess to soccer.

Love is a brutal reality. “She broke my heart”. Really? “I have wasted my love on bad women?” Really?

You just don’t get to get love. I am adopted and the youngest of six children. My mom had no choice but to love me. Not love me the same as my older siblings but better – at least for me. Not one day in my life have I loved as much as I have felt loved. Just go with that and do not trash the notion.

I just do not have a right to control love. It controls me. I just love sunshine and I get sunburned. I just love a huge plate of pancakes and I get fat. How the heck can I love being healthy but also love a good 3 shot glass of whiskey?

For a long time as a preacher man I preached hard that we cannot love things. We could only rightfully love God, others and our selves. What a bunch of hogwash that is. I love the picture right above me right now of my mom. Also right up there is a note from my dad, that I love. Heck I love my 220 “Hawaiian” shirts. I just love that smell of the dirt right after a rain – or just before one.

Sorry, I Do Not Like These Folks But I Love This Song. I Am So Silly

God Made This

I love it!
I love it! | Source

I Do Not Get It

Love God? Sometimes I think that concept is a joke. What do you come home tired and meditate on loving God? Do you put your young boy to bed and kiss him on the forehead and think about loving him. Do you watch a video with puppies and say “that makes me love”? I really do not need to work at loving. But spare me, not that I do not need to work on loving.

I love my rosebushes. My wife loves the roses and my son loves how tough they are. Three people that love a thing for different reasons. Oh I forgot, I love my roses because like raising children they are one hell of a sticky wicket from time to time. Why do I love challenges so?

This is going to sound real weird but I like death, nope I love death. Oh horrible terrible violent death is just plain wrong. But death in general is really cool from my perspective. If you are like me and really believe that souls don’t die, only the body does then why would death not be loved? I know that is strange. But just for a moment think as the living part of our soul is love. If that is true, the “living” part is just the struggle. And again do not get me wrong, I would rather struggle than have some sort of harmony without struggle. I can be in the now and I can be in the moment and I can rest in hope and spiritual calmness. But I would rather swim against the waves and feel the freedom of failure.

I am sorry if you think I wrote that wrong. I love defeat. If you beat me then I get to come back and try to beat you. My son beat me in chess yesterday. Oh how want the come back and trash him, hands pumped in the air and a crazy victory jig. And if he beats me again then I will cry in defeat and pledge to get him back. If I lose, he wins, if I win he wins. Dads are cool like that.

So I have a training back pack at about 40 pounds. I settle that into my shoulders and strap on the belly belt and I am good to go. That evil horrible weight I just hate. And when I get in 5 miles of hills I am so rewarded and in love with nature. I love being tested. It makes absolutely no sense but I love it.

Have you ever thrown all your weight and strength to get a truck that is stuck out? Mud or snow or ice, don’t matter much. It is so rewarding getting it unstuck and home for dinner. You just cannot buy that love of action. It is a love of life. I can’t really feel my right big toe. It got badly frost bitten around ten or so. I actually can stick a needle though it without feeling pain. I love that big toe.

I do declare that I hear folk loving football or basketball players and teams. (don’t even go hockey or soccer on me) Totally ridiculous to me. But I am silly. Why not love teams and players? It is better than loving a dung beetle.

Really!?!? How Many Times Have I Fallen?

Perhaps I Should Stop Writing As I Have No Clue About Love

I fall apart at a child's voice.
I fall apart at a child's voice. | Source

We Have No Choice.

My boy is starting to love my cooking. Kind of a learning curve for both of us. But if he loves what I cook I am in love with that love. I know that that is crazy but it is true.

Now let us talk about Dierker. I am a Dierker, was not born that way adopted that way. My dad’s name was Dierker at my birth my adopted mother was a Dierker. My father’s father and great grandfather was a Dierker. I have an ex-wife Dierker, I have 5 siblings Dierker and I have my wife and four kids that are Dierker. Can you even imagine that I do not love being a Dierker? Anything else never did cross this mind of mine.

I just simply do not do well.

I do great!

If I was an ugly sucker fish I would do great. My knee killed me hiking the mountain. I love my knee. Can you even imagine no knee?

So we whip it down here. Most won’t get this but, do not spur a horse. Lean forward on his back and let those reins loose. Let the beast of love make it’s own trail. Perhaps we will meet at the camp Love has given us.

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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you my great "thinker" friends. I just looked at the sky and Son of a Gun I think I just made it. The flu took and has taken much of us cancer patients here. Wow it is good to have the will.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      5 months ago from Shelton

      you made it crystal clear yet still foggy enough for us to understand love.. almost like a sermon..yes? LOL thanks for your efforts they are worth the read

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 

      5 months ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      I agree. Love is like that. I think Walt Whitman saw life somewhat similarly.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Jim you give it. You got it and we are likely blessed. My boy and I just did the four square hug. One sideways, one backward. Another sideways and one straight up. I giggle harder than the 8 yr old. Love somebody buddy!!

    • Jw Worcester profile image

      Jim JW Worcester 

      5 months ago from Riverside (Dayton) Ohio

      You've captured the essence of love. Very wonderful and confusing. And I wish more people would read this (a lot have I see) because I've met people who are needy for a relationship. They create a love - but I don't think the have the kind of love that walks up and hugs you unaware. And to have that love year after year is a blessing.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Please celebrate you, for I do.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      John we live in a desert next to the coast by Baja. My boy and I danced outside in the rain last eve. Cold and wet to make a mom crazy. And then we came in the house and danced to Harry and his Banana boat song.

      We have got to "get it on" brother.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Manatita you get sustenance. In our love we feed others the only nourishment required.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Linda my friend you are in my home. My son now gets "Linda said". We are eating better and happier. We are loving food because of you. You are my Diva.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Ptosis that rocked. I just love that guy. I did a belly laugh so hard it was hard to breath. We get it different but we get it together. Wonderful friend you are.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Bill "who is my best HP friend?" Oh baby you know it is you. Thank you for so many great reads. Please go hug a quail.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Kari, I am just having so much love and fun. Lord do not take me. I like the view here. But alright! Let us do this cycle thing. See you around the corner lady.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Yes Charmaine you have a valid point. Clive is kind to me.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hey Clive, we have a deal. If one of us stops growing the other on will kick our ass!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Charmaine you are the best. I think you are fantastic. I treasure you.

    • faith-hope-love profile image

      John Ward 

      5 months ago from Richmond, British Columbia, Canada.

      Great Eric, well written and very welcome challenge to meditate on. I used to say that there are maqny types of love and only one kind was decisive. But I do agree that no one ever can really know or understand just what makes us love or what love really is. Mostly we just do. I also love Death because I, too, believe that the Soul never dies, Therefor Love of the thought of death does Follow. Now once again you have imparted a great lesson to me. Thank you. John

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Mary -- I am having trouble today. Too much fun and love going on around here. Thank goodness my wife works hard so I can just dance around with my boy and nature. Yahoo!

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      5 months ago from london

      A brilliant piece of writing! What mire do we need? Peace!

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 

      5 months ago from Washington State, USA

      Eric, we only fail when we stop trying. And love isn't something we "do". It isn't a verb, it's a way of being. You are what you are, and you dear friend are love. And, I love this article.

    • ptosis profile image

      ptosis 

      5 months ago from Arizona

      Hi Derker, as always, I have to put in my facetious comment but I think you'll find it funny. It is Liam Neeson's Cupid Audition @ https://youtu.be/T9NzhjcPsQQ

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      5 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Absolutely nothing I can add to this. Beautiful! I love it to pieces, whatever that means. :)

    • k@ri profile image

      Kari Poulsen 

      5 months ago from Ohio

      Eric, I also love death. I agree with your feelings on the subject. I can't wait to see what is next! I agree with and understand so much in this article. I love a challenge, win or lose I win because I tried. Failure is just another word for learning. Love is something wonderful. I know it comes from God, it is in all of us, but I do not understand it. I just relish it.

    • threekeys profile image

      Threekeys 

      5 months ago from Australia

      Clive meant to ask you....how could you write a compassionate poem about the guy that washes your windscreen and then in the next breath put him down when you agreed wth eric's disparaging remark about that person?

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 

      5 months ago from Jamaica

      Love is a mystery

      Love is a gamble

      Love is a peaceful flower relaxing on the wind

      But love can be a ramble.

    • threekeys profile image

      Threekeys 

      5 months ago from Australia

      As soon as I read the title to your article I felt someone had upset you. And they had! Someone sent you an email and viola we have a piece of artwork! Wonderful.

      Love. Many different meanings.

      Not easy and yet easy.

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 

      5 months ago from Ontario, Canada

      "Let the beast of love make its own trail" I like this. My moment of love came to me when I learned to love myself just as I am.

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