- Mental Health»
- Stress Management
Who's In Charge Here?
"Oh no she didn't!" That's right, your boss just added another stack of work to your overflowing desk without even asking you if you could handle it. So you March right into her office and you give her a piece of your mind. You told here EXACTLY what you think about her, this company, and where she can put that extra work and then storm out of the office. You grab your stuff and head straight for the elevator mumbling under your breath how dare she give you more after all you already do. The minute you hit then door and that fresh air splashes you in the face the weight of the situation just hits you like a ton of bricks.
You just cursed out your boss and maybe quit. You are the only income in the house have bills, a career, mortgage, health insurance... What did you just do? What were you thinking!
Often we react then think, with stuff we say or do or how we feel. We allow whatever it is that's going on to control how we handle that situation. Typically how we react isn't going to be in our best interest it's not going to fix anything, most of the time it's quite the opposite and makes things that much worse. It amplifies the severity of the situation often times taking something that really isn't that big of a deal and catapulting it into 5 alarm status.
Basic physics on this one, when there's an action there is a reaction. Throw a rock in the lake, splash. Ripples. Those will reach out and effect every inch of that lake depending on how big that rock was, right? But have you ever seen a lake not splash? Me neither but the difference is that the lakes we see have reactions out of our control. The lakes in our minds at that peaceful oasis where we like to zen out and relax. This lake is in our world, we control it. You have a great power which is under your control, it is the power to take possession of your own mind and guide it to whatever goals you desire. To control your emotions and what you choose to allow them to influence. This is the only thing that man has full control over, whatever your mind feeds upon is what your mind becomes. When you choose to not allow yourself to be prompted to sing and dance when someone else wants you to, you are freeing yourself from the puppet strings that make you react how you normally wouldn't Don't allow others to dictate your actions, your feelings, or your future. It's your feelings, you are in charge so act like it!
When we react or over react to someone's actions we give that person or that event power over our world. We allow them to dictate how we are going to have things play out. How does that make any sense? Someone who has done something horrible to us and then we hand over the keys and tell them to drive. Why would we give them that power?
There are certain things that are out of our control, and the only thing we can do is react. But how we react and why will dictate how things play out. So your boss gave you extra work, so what? Is it worth quitting or getting fired for? Maybe she feels she can't trust anyone else to get it done. Maybe she wants to make sure you can handle the load before she promotes you.
Before you hand over the reigns think about how you are taking it. Stop, think, then react. By processing the information it allows you time to really think about what's going on. Once we understand what's happening we can make a decision on what's next and focus it on energy that will only improve the situation in our favor. By not over reacting and keeping cool we allow ourselves to stay in control of what happens next.
How often do you overreact?
My teenage years was packed full of poor reactions. Everything from getting pissed because I missed the train to flipping out on someone because I misread their tone. What this brought me is a bad attitude lack of positivity, a chip on my shoulder because everything pissed me off, and a lot of wasted energy. I allowed myself to get the best of me and because of that choice I lost friends, missed once in a lifetime opportunities, and spent much of my time regretting my choices later on. We want to make the right decision in the right moment to avoid all of these things. What helped me was saying and doing less. By taking that pause before reacting it gave me the five to ten seconds I need to decide on how to react and why. The why is actually more important than the reaction itself. Understand why you are going to react how you will will assist you in increasing the probability of making the right choice. The why is your key to keeping the ball in your court. When start to over react just ask yourself why do you want to hand over control of you and your emotions to someone else and I promise you that you will snap yourself out of it! Be your own boss, run your own emotions, and continue to be legendary.