- Mental Health
Give Peace a Chance
Why Be Mad?
It’ amazing how silly people can be. Me included. I was talking to a friend of mine from the left coast on Tuesday. She was telling me about how angry she was regarding the state of the economy and the middle class erosion, and her lazy kids and her good for nothing old man. I get that. Maybe it’s better to say I used to get that. I wasted almost 50 years feeling hateful at lots of different things. You know the litany. Marriage, job, kid, dysfunctional family, poverty, ad nauseum.
Then, I got on this universe kick and started thinking about how truly significant I am. I’ve come to realize, when I say “I am important”, what I really mean is I am selfish! Wow! Think about that! I am the most important thing in the universe, thus, I have the RIGHT to feel hatred, the obligation to feel mad. Things are supposed to go the way I want them to go. When they don’t - I hate. You see sometimes anger just won't do it.
It struck me that hatred is a unisex man cave. It’s a black hole where there’s room for everyone. According to the people’s encyclopedia, Wikipedia “A black hole is a region of space-time from which nothing, not even light, can escape.” Hatred is the same thing. Laughter can’t get out because haters are too busy stewing and not doing. Autumn sunshine is ignored because the hater is has better things to do than to notice color, and smell and wood smoke singing “pancake time for cub scouts.” Hatred allows one to forget the eentsy weensty spider walking up the water spout, while constructing something that would defy the world’s most prolific architect! Then why be angry? Why fill your heart with hate? Eureka!
It feels good! Hatred lets a person say to the world “I’m right!!!! You’re wrong! It’s not my fault that YOU…..” “Someone pooped in my diaper and then got mud on it!!”
Who remembers the name of the guy nailing Jesus to the cross on Calvary? Who remembers the name of the man hanging on that cross? “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions." Proverbs, 10:12
There have to be other reasons to be angry. Here’s my favorite: Angering allows the angerer to deny responsibility for their circumstances! When you think about it, that’s a really healthy way to live. “It’s everybody else’s fault!” Better writers than me could call it hedonism for the heart. Bitterness without regret! I think the therapy people call that externalizing. I call it playing the victim card. “Poor me.” Nowadays, that I don’t have to be politically correct, I love to hear people moan the anger song because then I can smile “Get over it”.
William Glasser talks about needs satisfaction and how all we do is behave, in his book Choice Theory. Now I get it! Angering allows me to feel important. It satisfies my power need. Maybe even my need for belonging. "Misery loves company. No- that's sick. It helps me play the academy award winning role of Poor Pitiful Me. So, if I spend my time in anger, I can concentrate on what’s really important! Me!!
I wish I had more time to hate someone today. I just can’t decide on who it should be. Myself? Been there done that. Politicians? Nope. Lost relationships? Nope, not worth the effort. Buttinskees? Get a job.
I’m just stuck. I know I’ll think of someone to hate, but for now, I have a tee time and the sky is blue.
I got it! I’ll hate tomorrow. I wish you peace my friends.
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