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Why Can't I Get To Sleep? 10 Simple Steps To A Good Nights Sleep
We all know the feeling at some stage in our lives. We go to bed feeling completely exhausted, but sleep just doesn't come. As we lay there tossing and turning in our beds, it seems that the more tired we get the more our brains decide to speed up and regurgitate every little detail of the day.
For some reason our thoughts just go round and round like a 3D film showing the same thing over and over again. My brain decides at three in the morning to have a party. What makes it even worse is the fact that it picks up on the most annoying song it can think of and keeps on strumming.
Any idea of sleep goes out of the window, and I lay there feeling more and more exhausted. The frightening thing is that the more tired I get, the more chance of experiencing some sort of sleep paralysis or really bad nightmare when I do drop off.
Over the years I have noticed many different factors that can start this bout of insomnia. Most of them my fault I have to add.
But there are a few things you can do to make sure that your brain knows when its time to sleep, so here's 10 ways that really help me to unwind so that I can drift of to nod land.
Sleep perchance to Dream
As shakespeare so aptly put it. It seems that even back then our sleep was a mysterious and sometimes annoying problem.
To Die to sleep.....
To sleep perchance to dream...ay there's the rub,
For in this sleep of death, what dreams may come'
William shakespeare
Skip the Exercise
1. First of all I have noticed that it doesn't make any difference to me whether the pillow is soft or hard. And even the type of bed doesn't necessary mean a good nights sleep.
The first thing you have to realise is that its all about your mind. If that is calm then you are on your way to dreamland.
So make sure that you stop doing anything strenuous at least half an hour before you go to bed.
If you are doing evening exercises then knock it on the head too late at night.
Your body will start to produce loads of adrenaline, and will trick your mind into thinking its the start of the day. Take it easy and relax by watching tv or just putting your feet up.
'But sleep in the long run, proves greater than all emotions'
Algernon Blackwood 'The Wendigo'
Computer Meltdown
2. Get off the darn computer! Its a well known fact that if you concentrate on your pc right up until the time for bed it will start your brain up like an engine! Facts, information, photos and chat will make your brain buzz like a bee on steroids! Cut it out!
I get it, we all like to keep in touch, reading, writing and just 'chatting., But you have to remember, your brain thinks its party time!
Just think of all the stuff floating around your cerebellum. Its a great big slushy mush of adrenaline, thinking, planning and just doing the conga! I know its hard to put it down, but please, trust me. Its one of the worse things to keep you awake.
'O sleep O gentle sleep
Nature's soft nurse
how have I frightened thee,
that though no more will
weigh my eyelids down
and steep my senses in forgetfulness?' William Shakespeare
Arguments Cause Stress A Big No No For Sleep
3. If you live with someone, and I guess that's most of us, don't start any arguments.
Even a raised voice can get the body into the flight and fight mode. And If you have friends around make sure that they go home at least an hour before bedtime.
Your brain needs to process the information, and start putting the thoughts into place. Chill out.
If you have something on your mind, say it there and then. You know the quote, never go to bed on an argument. That may be true for people who like to clear the air, but its also good for resting your mind so that you can drop of to sleep.
Otherwise your stress levels will be sky high.
Sort it out, say goodnight, then sit down and think things over for at least half an hour. When you feel that you have resolved the issues, or just planned your next move then you can relax.
Just Chill Out and Relax
4. Now this one may be obvious. Go take a bath. But here me out. Plunging into warm water may not do it by itself. Light a few candles, put on soft music and just wallow. You may find its better to just sit there and relax, but your mind will still keep churning on and on.
Throw some herbs into the bath, lavender or chamomile are the best. You don't have to put them in the water. I always make a small muslin bag and place the herbs inside. Tie it to your taps, or just let it float in the water. The relaxing and warming effect of the herbs will help to calm you, and the hot water will release the fragrance and help to activate the properties of the herbs.
If you can't find a muslin bag, a stocking will do! Just cut the stocking at the knee, place the herbs into the foot and then tie the top. Voila', one herbal bag.
Massage Yourself To Sleep
5. On the subject of herbs, why not give yourself a massage? You can either use aromatherapy oils or if you have loose herb teas you can make your own.
Just steep the herbs in boiling water for approximately 20 minutes, drain them off into a bowl and add either a small amount of body lotion or oil. As you massage your body the herbs you will feel your skin begin to warm up, and the scent will be delicious.
Lavender Pillow Trick
Placing lavender under your pillow is another old trick. The smell will begin to waft out as your pillow warms up. It sends a lovely aroma around you, and definitely makes you go to sleep. I have tried this many times.
Make a potpourri out of your herbs. If you can find lavender growing outside, dry it out for a few days, then just break it down and add to your other herbs. Place these around the room, as your room becomes warmer the smell is wonderful. I have three pots on my window ledge, shelf above my bed and on my bedside table. Lovely.
Easy on the eyes
6. Arrange your bedroom so that everything you see when laying in bed is colorful and calming.
There's nothing worse than getting into a nice warm bed only to see your clothes thrown on the chair, drawers half open and books or papers in disarray on your desk.
I know we turn out the light, but the last thing we see is the layout.
Place your bed near a window, but not too close because of possible drafts.
Don't clutter the space by the end of your bed. Leave it open and airy.
Maybe a picture on the wall showing a waterscape, or valley will help you to focus.
Its said that the longer you look at something keeping your eyes wide open, the quicker you will nod off.
This is a form of self hypnosis, and works very well.
Baby Let Me Be Your Lovin' Teddy Bear!
7. If you sleep alone a good idea is to either place a hot water bottle on your feet or behind your back, that's what I do.
It makes me so sleepy I often wake up with it still there. What about a teddy bear? I know, childish, but hear me out.
If we have something to cuddle it brings back memories of when we are children. A soft cuddly toy will calm you down and make you feel safe.
If your partner snores, or is a restless sleeper, try to keep to your side of the bed. Some people swear by going to sleep first, others wait until their partner is nodding off. Do whichever is best for you.
Reading helps you Relax
8. Read a book in or before bedtime. Even if you only manage to get through a few pages it will help your mind relax. The movement of your eyes on the page also helps as it has an hypnotic effect. Even better read a really boring book, after about five minutes you will find that you are reading the same words over and over again! Next second you will drop off.
Another good idea on the subject of books images or words, is to place a really good picture or photo by your bed. It can be anything from a lovely warm beach to a cool green forest. By placing these images in front of you, your mind will latch onto it and calm you enough to go to sleep. It is a great way to guide your mind into a lovely relaxing dream too.
How blessed are some people..... whose lives have no fears...
no dreads... to whom sleep is a blessing that comes nightly,
and brings nothing but sweet dreams....
Bram Stoker 'Dracula'
Mantra and visualisation
9. Learn a Mantra. So many of us try to nod off only to keep hearing those sounds, words and songs going round and round our brains. Learning a phrase, poem or word (Mantra) can guide your mind into that warm fuzzy state.
Practice this for about a week to give your mind a chance to understand that it has to relax.
Another Mantra type exercise is too picture one thing only. A flower, apple, tree or even something calming such as seeing yourself sewing.
The repetition of seeing the needle going in and out of the cloth can make your mind focus and block out the other thoughts and pictures. Trust me it works. My favorite is either 'seeing' a daffodil, or the sewing idea.
It does take a bit of practice, but eventually your mind will get to realise that this is a good way for you to switch of and go to sleep.
Link:
- How To Change A Duvet Cover Without Tying Yourself I...
Step by Step guide on how to change a Duvet cover. And read my funny account of how I nearly get eaten by the stupid thing!
Have A Hug!
10. Last but not least, cuddle up to your man or woman! Seriously, there has been research over the years that show the fact that if you are listening to a heartbeat it can calm the mind. Just ask babies!
The idea is that it reminds you of when you were in the womb.
The rhythm of the breathing mixed with hearing the dull thud of the beating heart will take send you of to dreamland!
Apart from the fact that his or her lovely warm body will act as an insulating blanket!
So go on, snuggle up! Go to sleep, and wait for those dreams to happen.
(c) Copyright nell rose
Wise Words from a Great Man
I think the final words should come from that great writer Rudyard Kipling. It seems that he has the right idea about how to get a good nights sleep!
'I worked like a horse, and I ate like a hog and I slept like a dead man'
Link:
- Dreams - Did a Ghost tell me the Future or was it Ju...
Dreams do ghosts speak to you in dreams or is it precognition fascinating true story by Nell Rose - Succubus The Seductive Demon
In Medieval legend the name Succubus would send shivers down the spine. From Lilith to Naamah, Eisheth Zenunim and Agrat Bat Mahlat, the Queens of the Succubi would seduce entice and steal mens souls. - Sleep Paralysis Is it a Normal Phenomenon or a Psych...
Sleep paralysis affects many people around the world, but is it a normal phenomenon or psychic event?
Do You Have Trouble sleeping? If so what Do You Do To Help You Get To Sleep?
© 2013 Nell Rose
Comments
- Author
Hi gerogescifo, yes thats so true, I just wish I could! lol! thanks for reading, nell
- Author
lol! no not Bush LadyFiddler! Just George! I named him after Prince George who was born on the day I got my bear! LOL!
leave all your tension and anxiety aside and you will surely get a good sleep.
Nell I hope George's last name is not Bush lol. Maxswell is here with me right now he is ready to snore. So Gute Nacht
- Author
Hi LadyFiddler, lol! your Max and my George would get on great! thanks for reading, and have a great restful night!
- Author
Thanks Vellur, yes so many different ways to try to get to sleep, but I always find reading a book makes me nod off the best! lol!
Great tips and ideas Nell. I find if my feet are warm then I drift off to sleep, so the hot water bottle is a great idea.LOL! Listening to relaxation music and meditating always works for me. This was fun to read!
LOL Nell I am twenty six years old and i still sleep with a teddy because i am free, single and disengaged and Maxs "my teddy' sure does a mighty comforting job in putting me to sleep. I treat him like he is real, buy him clothes etc, carry him out ha ha ha. No i am not crazy :) He's my first born.
Getting off the computer is so darn right, its a jumbie that glues us to it. But sometimes weeks i don't even go on my laptop and yet still i am restless when its bed time.
Thanks for sharing
Great tips to have a good night's sleep. Without proper sleep the following day is miserable. Mantra and visualization definitely helps and the good old hug never fails to work. Great hub, voted up.
- Author
Thanks Julie, maybe its something I need to do too, it used to be fine, so maybe its a glitch, thanks again, nell
Thanks Nell. I'll check out my google+ page to be sure I don't have comments turned off for some strange reason.
- Author
Hi Julie, great to see you here! I did try commenting on your google + page but for some reason it kept telling me it wasn't allowed! lol! I must be doing something wrong, but I did love your blog, and as you saw I left a comment. Thats a good idea about the tv being turned down, it tends to do that to me too! lol!
This is my first time at hubpages.com and the first time reading your great writing. I really enjoyed this article. My hubby insists on having the TV on when we go to sleep. However, I've learned that if the volume is so low I have to strain to hear it, I drift off to sleep. (I have a sleep timer on the TV so it goes off by itself.)
- Author
Hi Glimmer, sorry to hear about one of your parents, I hope they are feeling better? I haven't tried watching the tv, as I am too lazy to get out of bed but reading really is good, especially if the book is boring! lol! thanks so much for reading, and nice to see you, nell
Been out of touch for a while with an ill parent and have been having problems sleeping. One thing I do if I wake up in the middle of the night with thought running through my head is go to the couch and turn the tv on with no sound. Works like a charm every time. To fall asleep I always read a book. That is my favorite way to unwind. Nice hub!
I found this hub useful. thanks for sharing. voting up!
I workout early in the morning and practice yoga in the evening. My class ends at 9pm on Mon and Wed. Not sure if perhaps this has anything to do with my insomnia every once in a while, but last night was one of those nights where I got the munchies around 3:30am and I had to get up. I made myself a bowl of blueberry oatmeal and added some Kellogg's Special K with strawberries with milk & then went back to sleep.
- Author
Hi mejohnson, lol! me too! my pc takes over and I say, one more minute, one more....lol! thanks for reading, nell
- Author
Hi Deborah, yes same here, two hours in I am wide awake! lol! yes I do reading again, it usually makes me nod off, thanks so much for reading, nell
- Author
Thats a great idea B. never thought of that, I will give it a go, thanks again, nell
Great tips. I find meditating helpful for falling asleep, though I do find it hard to shut down all my devices (laptop, iPad, tv, etc) at a reasonable hour!
I never have trouble falling asleep. My problem is waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep. I sometimes get up and start working on my computer, but I think that probably makes it worse. Maybe I should try reading for a while instead. Thanks for the suggestions.
Up, Useful, and Interesting. Those are some very good ideas.
One technique I've found helpful is to get comfortable in bed after lights out and then remember my major and minor accomplishments, satisfactions, and reasons for gratitude of the day. (I leave thinking about problems for next day.) Often I remember the day backward, starting with being thankful that all is well where I am, in bed at home.
- Author
Thanks for reading tebo, sorry about the delay, its my signal it keeps going all the time, I am going to get a new pc this week, fingers crossed! lol!
I use to sleep really well but these days its a bit more haphazard. I'm not sure whether that's due to menopause or loss of my husband. No one to snuggle up to. however I do have a dog who likes to snuggle up so that is good. Lot of great suggestions. I've just planted a Lavender shrub and will get some in once it gets established. I like the mantra idea or visualisation. I use to always just try to stop thinking even before I knew about meditation.
- Author
Thanks everyone, I am trying all these out for myself again, the clocks going forward yesterday really didn't help! lol! thanks as always, nell
I often have this problem and will try some of these solutions. My favorite is the mantra suggestion, but the hot water bottle sounds like less work. Voting this Up and Useful.
Great ideas. I usually fall asleep with the TV on, then wake up around 3:00AM. If I'm sleepy, I'll turn it off, otherwise I'll watch until I get sleepy. It helps my mind to quit doing cartwheels of thoughts from rolling around in my head!
I think you are spot on about being in the right frame of mind. But I still think when I have my favourite pillow I get a great night's sleep.
I can be on the computer or reading until the end of my day. Lately, though, here's a big fact for me. If I haven't had enough to eat, I will NOT sleep. After feeding the machine, I tend to do so much better...
Nell, I used to have to get up really early for years to work, so maybe that is both out problems. Thanks.
It really hurts when you are in bed to sleep, but the thoughts said to you no boss you can't tonight I will not allow you to sleep hahaha.
Nice article.
These are good tips and I have to stop writing hubs late at night now! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for all the tips, Nell, which I'm sure will be very useful for me. I do have times when it's hard for me to fall asleep. Just as you describe, sometimes my mind just won't "turn off" and I can't stop thinking! I'll remember your suggestions.
- Author
Hi Mohan, lol! yes it does! perchance you always leave great comments! haha! great to see you, and thanks as always, nell
I suppose reading this at 2:37 am shows I need your hub. In fact, I think I was tempted to skip right to the ' Have a hug' section as I do love my cuddles. However your sensible sleep solutions are as always a highly readable and useful suggestions. You write like a dream. Perchance that is why readers flock to your hub. ( see how I did that?- Insomnia maybe, but the boy still can write a comment) voted up and above.
- Author
Hi Lizzy, thats great that you have your medical stuff sorted out, with medical problems keeping you awake it must be horrible, the advantage of sleeping alone is that if I snore I can't here myself! lol! thanks as always lizzy, nell
Ahh...alas, I love your suggestions, but not sure I can make them work. I have so many assorted problems, ranging from having to have separate bedrooms because my snoring keeps hubby awake, to sleep apnea, to back and knee pain (for which not much seems to help), to insomnia and the inability to make my mind just SHUT UP and stop re-hashing old stuff or worrying about new stuff....I cuddle with my cats...unless I am unusually restless, in which case they abandon me... LOL!!
I LOVE that soaking tub you show--I am jealous of that woman in the photo --unfortunately we have no tub to speak of....it is far to short to soak and relax..the best I can do is a hot shower.
(It's odd--but I've never been soothed by listening to a partner's heartbeat--instead, I fear that I will hear it end! Especially true with current hubby, who has a bad ticker.)
On the bright side, I finally have medical coverage, and my knee and my sleep apnea will be seen to....and then maybe everything else will fall into place.
Voted up, interesting and useful.
- Author
Hi Marlene, the massage is so soothing, especially the legs, really makes you relax, glad you liked it and thanks so much, nell
- Author
Hi Larry, lol! Now I have to take down my Godzilla poster, darn it! thanks as always, nell
- Author
Hi brdalletter, glad you liked it and thanks for reading, nell
- Author
HI Jackie, same as me! two hours in and I am wide awake! lol! the hot water bottle is awesome! lol! thanks as always, nell
- Author
Hi justateacher, hope they help you and thanks for reading, nell
- Author
Hi dgh, you lucky thing! lol! thanks for reading, nell
- Author
Hi beingwell, yes thats it exactly, thanks so much for reading, nell
- Author
Hi Pamela, thanks so much for reading, yes pain can really cause a sleepless night, but even without it I tend to wake up two hours after falling asleep, why I don't know. I think it stems from when I used to get up for work really early, my brain keeps waking me up to look at the clock! drives me mad, thanks
- Author
Hi Cathy, yep me too! lol! thanks!
- Author
Hi John, lol! no clothes laying around, remember? seriously the lavender under the pillow is really lovely, thanks for reading, nell
- Author
Hi christopher, yes I know what you mean about that one! your mind goes over and over it, it drives you mad! lol!
- Author
Hi livingsta, glad you liked it and thanks for stopping by, nell
- Author
Hi Gordon, I think that as we are all writers and keep our noses to the pc its something that makes us all stay awake, I notice that I am ten times worse if I try to sleep straight away after putting the pc to bed! lack of sleep can make you ill, so I hope some of these ideas will help you, thanks as always, nell
- Author
Thanks Martie, yes I know what you mean about sleeping meds, I started taking diazipam as they are not as strong as temazipam, but I still got that horrible tired and heavy feeling the next day, and I know its definitely the pc that keeps my brain partying! lol! thanks as always, nell
- Author
Hi poet, great to see you, yes the herbal bag is something I do a lot, it smells gorgeous and is totally relaxing, Happy Easter to you too, thanks!
- Author
Hi drbj, thats a good idea, I may try that, I suffer with terrible insomnia! lol! thanks so much, nell
- Author
Hi Ruby, the pink rabbit sounds lovely! lol! thanks as always, nell
I usually do not have trouble sleeping, but if i do, i get up and watch TV. I am going to try the lavender under my pillow and bath. I should never reveal this, but i sleep with my sweet little pink rabbit and white kitty cat, they sit on my bed during the day and have that pleading look..Hee..Great hub.....
Usually, Nell, I fall asleep within a few minutes but if I can't fall asleep I get up and drink two ounces or so of unsweetened cherry juice. That sends me to dreamland. Thanks for the fascinating suggestions. If the cherry juice doesn't do the job, I'll try the lavender under the pillow.
I have got to try the herbal bag tied off to the faucet. Now, that is a useful, creative idea that's affordable too. Love it! I've had chronic insomnia on and off for years. Thank you very much for useful tips to try that don't involve things with side effects and long term interest rates. Happy Easter!
Nell, I always enjoy the way you approach a topic! Your writing style delights.
I have had sleeping disorders since 1989 after the death of my father. So I've started to write in order to spend my waking hours productively. But eventually I've developed the condition called 'Burnout' - awful! I was no longer able to write. My brain was completely blocked. So I started to take half a sleeping pill at night. This eventually led to a total breakdown, as I was not able to function during the day with the ingredients - leftovers or not - of sleeping meds in my body. Anyway, I can write a book about insomnia.
Just a few thoughts -
"Get off the darn computer! Your brain thinks it's party time." So damn true! I am so curious and eager to read all the posts of my friends on FB, I go to bed with my phone and can't put it down before I have caught up with all posts. Such a bad habit, depriving myself of glorious sleep!
"Massage Yourself To Sleep..." - Mmm, this could be fun... lol!
"...a teddy bear.." - I hold my pillow, or even two. But I do prefer my BF. I think I should convince him to spend more nights at my place? Mmmm.... then what about my online friends and their writings/posts?
"Reading helps you Relax..." But not something presenting an opportunity to response.... like FaceBOOK... lol!
Excellent hub, Nell! As always :)
Hi, Nell.
This is a big problem for me. A good night's sleep and I have been many years parted...
The computer tip is the one that strikes a chord with me in particular. I will have to try that, as switching the computer off is usually the last thing I do before I go to bed at night.
Thanks for all the pointers - I do know that sleeplessness is doing me harm and that I have to address it :)
Gordon
Hi Nell, some really useful tips here. Tip 2 is definitely for me :-) I need to stay away from my computer before sleep. I have also heard about Lavender. Need to give it a try. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Votes up and sharing!
I usually sleep very well, but if I get into an online argument before bed, it screws up my sleeping. It's best to stay calm.
Thanks for a very soothing hub Nell. Damm! I'm yawning now.
I like it Nell. I must try the lavender under the pillow idea, and it would appear that I need to rearrange my bedroom.
Great information and I love the photos. What I would give for a bathtub like that!
I like your steps to fall asleep and been trying a few of them recently. I particularly will not watch TV with some violent or very emotional show just before bed. I find reading helps also. I can almost always go to sleep, but I cannot stay asleep. Many days I am up by 4 Am, and not by choice. It is partially due to joint pain and I have to get up for it to ease off. Sometimes, I think it is mind over matter, but I have not figured it our yet. Awesome hub.
Hi Nell! I've been having trouble sleeping, lately. I'm feeling it's because of the stuff going on in my head when I shut my eyes. I need to learn to quiet my thoughts so I can go to dreamland faster. Shared!!
Nice and useful hub. I do not have any sleep prob by the grace of God. Thanks for this hub. Shared and votes up.
I'm reading this at 2:00am because I can't get to sleep. I have tried so many suggestions to try and fall asleep - and so far nothing has worked. I will try some of your hints now - they can't hurt!!
My sleep problem is really weird right now. I go right off to sleep but wake wide awake in a couple hours. I have been going in to the main computer though and work on my picture collection, I don't get online, and in about a half hour I am ready to get back to sleep for the night. Guess it is good I get back to sleep but hate this new routine! I may try that hot water bottle! Thanks. ^
I have the computer melt down quite often, to the point my eyes get tired and then I can't sleep for a few more hours after shutting it down.
Reading is a great way to fall asleep and cuddling is pleasant too. Very useful hub!
Hi Nell,
Being single, I vote for #10.
About #6. If you're a Goth, ask yourself the hard question: Do I really want that Godzilla poster on my bedroom wall?
Voted up and beautiful.
Wow, Nell you have a lot of great suggestions here. I like the self-massage idea. I've never given myself a massage before, but I think this is a good idea. Thanks for all of the research that went into this hub. Moreover, thank you for sharing these wonderful tips.
- Author
Hi carol, yes the imagery of sewing always gets me to sleep, I have no idea whether really sewing would do it though! lol! thanks!
Hi Vicki, great to see you! I always read before going to sleep, in fact if I didn't read I would definitely get insomnia, just a habit with me, and the lavender potpouris are great! love the smell of them, thanks so much, nell
Hi Nell, it's been a while! Some great tips here, but as my friend Bill says, I drop off to sleep really quickly once my head hits the pillow. Lucky if I can read two pages of a book. I do love lavender and must remember to do that one soon! Great Hub with lots of interesting info.
That reminds me to get the lavender out again. I fall asleep but don't always stay that way. If I make it to 3;30 I am grateful as the nite is mostly gone. I get about 4 to start working. Love the morning. You have some excellent suggestions here...And I am going to try the sewing bit..Like that one. Great job as always Nell Rose. Voting UP++++and pinning for all the insomniacs.
- Author
Hi billy, thats cos you go someone to cuddle up too! lol! but me, I have my teddy bear, hot water bottle and memories! lol! thanks as always and have a great Easter weekend too, don't eat too many of those eggs either! Haha!
Great suggestions but I don't need them. LOL I sleep like a baby each and every night. If it takes me longer than ten minutes to fall asleep...that's insomnia for me. :) Have a great Easter weekend!
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