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Why Children in Small Families Have High Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence While Children in Large Families.....Don't

Updated on October 11, 2018
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Grace studied the family. Small families have myriad advantages & benefits that large families simply.....DON'T have.

The Small Family Environment is Conducive to High Self-Esteem

In small families, children are raised to value themselves. In fact, they are taught that their individuality is important. Children in small families see their individuality as positivity. To them, having a sense of self is paramount to their development & sense of well-being. Their parents also give them a sense of importance by their interactions of them. Children in small families are planned and wanted by their parents and such factors increase their self-worth.

Because of the small size of their families, they don't have to constantly vie for the attention of their parents. There is more than enough emotional and psychological parental resources that are allotted per child. In small families, parents experience very little or no stress as a result of the small number of children they have. Studies show that smaller families experience less emotional and psychological stress than larger families. Another study further authenticated that 1-child families experience the least stress. When parents don't have stress, they can interact more positively with their children.



How Small Families Lead to High Self-Esteem in Children

In small families, there is an equal or a greater parent-child ratio which enables parents to spend individualized time with their children. There is also less division of time that parents can spend with their children. There are more parent-child interactions in small families. Because parents can spend individualized time with their children, such children feel wanted, special, and loved. These things naturally increase children's self-esteem.

As emotional & psychological parental resources aren't at a premium in small families, parents notice all aspects of their children's lives, including their uniqueness. In small families, children aren't considered to be a conglomerate nor a collective. They are treated as unique individuals. Children in small families learn that it is very important to express their individuality. One can aptly state that children from small families are told that it is healthy to assert their selfhood.




Children From Small Families Are Encouraged to Have High Self-Esteem & to be an Individual

In small families, parents strongly encourage their children that having a sense of self is highly important in their development as a human being & for their general well-being.
In small families, parents strongly encourage their children that having a sense of self is highly important in their development as a human being & for their general well-being.

The Small Family Environment and Its Relationship to High Self-Esteem

In small families, children have their own property and space. They typically have their own rooms. Because they have their property and space, they have a very acute sense of ownership. As a result of having their own space, they know the importance of boundaries. They value their own boundaries and expect others to value their boundaries also.

In the small family environment, children have ample, individual space. They don't have to endure cramped, crowded spaces where privacy is at a premium or it doesn't exist at all. As children have individual space in their personal environment, they feel as if they can express themselves freely and individually which enhances their sense of self-worth. Children in small families can decorate their own property the way they want without any infringement nor interference by others.

How The Small Family Environment Produces High Self-Awareness

Children in small families are taught the importance of OWNERSHIP.  Children in small families have their own space & property.  Children in small families have privacy.  Their privacy is respected & cherished.
Children in small families are taught the importance of OWNERSHIP. Children in small families have their own space & property. Children in small families have privacy. Their privacy is respected & cherished.

Being Comfortable in One's Skin

Since children in small families receive intense, individualized parental attention, they feel very worthwhile. They also engage with their parents in ways that children from large families don't. As a result of this constant engagement, they have confidence beyond their years. Children in small families grow up in an adult environment as their main interactors are their parents. This leads to an advanced vocabulary and other adult behaviors.

Children in small families also participate in cultural, educational, and intellectual activities where they are in contact with all types of people. These activities also add confidence. Children in small families go to museums. They also travel and attend plays. These activities make them very well rounded and more universalistic in their outlook. It also makes them comfortable around varied cultures. They furthermore know how to communicate and interface easily with other children and people.

Children from small families are quite adept with interfacing with adults and authority figures because they do this constantly in their familial environment. They are quite comfortable being alone, even see it as a positive aspect of life. They use that time for their creative endeavors such as painting, reading, and indulging in other solitary hobbies.

Children in Small Families are QUITE COMFORTABLE with Themselves

Because of 1-1 individualized parent-child relationship, children from small families feel important & confident.  They also grow up in ADULT environments which translates into maturity of language & mannerisms.
Because of 1-1 individualized parent-child relationship, children from small families feel important & confident. They also grow up in ADULT environments which translates into maturity of language & mannerisms.

Large Families Don't Exactly Encourage Self-Esteem

The concept of self-esteem is antithetical to large families. The large family environment isn't exactly conducive to having self-esteem. Children in large families are taught that they aren't individuals. They are taught to be a collective. The concept of self is view as blasphemous, even a mortal sin in the large family.

Children in large families are inculcated that they are last while others are always first. Children in large families are truly discouraged from self-assertion. Any form of self-assertion in large families is viewed as selfishness. Individuality in any form and expression is considered to be the height of selfishness. In large families, a child's individual needs means nothing, it is the group that is important.

Large Families and Its Relationship to a Child's Low or No Self-Esteem

Children in large families aren't seen nor treated as individuals.  They are seen as a collective.  Individuality in large families is STRONGLY DISCOURAGED  & seen negatively.
Children in large families aren't seen nor treated as individuals. They are seen as a collective. Individuality in large families is STRONGLY DISCOURAGED & seen negatively.

The Correlation Between Large Families and Low or No Self-Esteem in Children

In large families, parents are seldom involved in their children's lives. There is a vastly unequal parent-child ratio in large families. In large families, children outnumber the parents. Parents oftentimes don't have the emotional nor psychological resources to allot time to a large number of children. Typically in large families, children are left to their own resources-having to do the best they know how without parental guidance.

Children in large families don't have adequate parental attention. There is no such thing as individualized or any discernible type of parent-child interaction in large families. As a result, children in large families feel that their parents really don't care for them. The end result is they feel that they are unimportant which adversely affects their self-esteem. In the children's mind, they wonder why did their parents have them when they don't even spend time with them.

How Large Families CREATE Low or No Self-Esteem in Children

In large families, there is an unequal parent-child ratio.Parents are OUTNUMBERED by their children & don't have the resources to give their children the individualized attention the latter needs.Children in large families feel unloved & worthless.
In large families, there is an unequal parent-child ratio.Parents are OUTNUMBERED by their children & don't have the resources to give their children the individualized attention the latter needs.Children in large families feel unloved & worthless.

Dehumanization is Common in Large Families Which Adversely Impacts Children's Self-Esteem

It is common for children in large families to be dehumanized. The large family environment is one which is rife for dehumanization. Children in large families don't receive the parental attention and time needed for them to thrive. Parents of large families view giving their children attention and time as totally unnecessary. In their eyes, that is what siblings are for. There are parents of large families who feel that giving their children attention is spoiling.

There is so such thing as individualized parental attention in large families. Parents are perfunctory in large families i.e. they parent at the basic minimum level, if it all. Children from large families are treated as if they are numbers, not people. They aren't considered nor treated as individuals with their own unique perspectives, gifts, and talents. Their uniqueness are oftentimes ignored, even disparaged and disrespected. Parents of large families make their children be alike, they don't have time to consider their children's individuality. In the large family, it is always the group-the group is always so ever important.

Large Families-----> Dehumanization--------->Low or No Self-Esteem

Children in large families are viewed as numbers, not individuals.  They are even treated as numbers.  Because of such dehumanized treatment, children in large families have little or no self-esteem. In large families, the group is EVERYTHING.
Children in large families are viewed as numbers, not individuals. They are even treated as numbers. Because of such dehumanized treatment, children in large families have little or no self-esteem. In large families, the group is EVERYTHING.

There is No Such Thing as Ownership in Large Families

Children in large families don't have any concept of individual ownership. Such a concept is viewed as evil in large families. In large families, children don't possess anything of their own. There is no such thing as children in large families having their own property. Everything must be shared, even the most personal articles.

There is no such thing as individual nor personal space in large families. Everything is out in the open. Personal or any other type of privacy are anathemas in the large family environment. Living out in the open is very commonplace. In large families, there are no personal boundaries. Constant intrusions, interruptions, and infringements are normative lifestyles. If a child in a large family want to be alone or indulge in solitary hobbies, such things are viewed as abnormal, even selfish.

In large families, everything is communal from clothes to even rooms. It isn't uncommon for children in large families to live packed and on top of each other. There is no space for individuality whatever its forms in large families. Children in large families grow up, not knowing themselves as individuals but only see themselves in a group collective.

The Large Family Environment Discourages Self-Awareness

There is no such thing as individual ownership in large families.  Everything is out in the open & up for grabs.  Communality is a way of life in large families.
There is no such thing as individual ownership in large families. Everything is out in the open & up for grabs. Communality is a way of life in large families.

Large Families and the Feeling of Worthlessness in Children

As a result of constantly being indoctrinated that the self doesn't matter, children from large families have little, even no self-esteem. They feel that they are inconsequential as individuals. They are of the school that others are far more important than they are. They are also afraid to state and go after what they want. They are content to be last.

They also feel worthless because they were not nurtured and given the prerequisite parental attention. Psychologists and other social scientists stress the importance of individualized parental attention in order for children to thrive and have a sense of self. Because of the lack of parental involvement in their lives, they can become very needy, seeking attention from other adults, oftentimes leading to quite deleterious results. They may even gravitate to abusive relationships because they feel that they aren't deserving of anything else.

They may even become compulsive attention seekers to compensate for the lack of parental attention in their familial environment. They won't be afraid and will use any means to get the attention they crave. They often above exhibiting a false bravado as a cover for their low or no self-esteem.

Large Families Causing Children to Feel Worthless

In large families, children are told that the self doesn't & shouldn't matter.  In fact, they are told to submerge the self which results in a sense of worthlessness. They are afraid of state their needs & are content being LAST.
In large families, children are told that the self doesn't & shouldn't matter. In fact, they are told to submerge the self which results in a sense of worthlessness. They are afraid of state their needs & are content being LAST.

Conclusion

A high or strong self-esteem is imperative for children to develop properly and for their overall well-being. Having a strong concept of self is mentally healthy and not having a sense of self can be classified as mentally abnormal. The concept of self and self-esteem differ according to the specific family culture.

Small families encourage their children to have self-esteem. They feel that self-esteem is necessary for their children in survive, even thrive. In large families, any mention of self is view as selfishness. The main them is that others and the group are first while the individual is last or even of no consequence. While individuality is nurtured in small families, it is greatly disparaged in large families. Children in small families are quite comfortable with themselves while children in large families feel that they aren't important at all and to think so is the height of being selfish which is evil.

Self-Esteem and Family Size

Why children in small families have high self-esteem while children in large families have very little, even no self-esteem?

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