ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Why Do I Hate Myself?

Updated on July 15, 2016

Why do I Hate Myself?

By Tony DeLorger © 2010

Blame is a misnomer for many reasons. If we create our circumstances, then blaming someone or something for our mistakes is simply wrong. If blame were a reasonable proposition, then it would be us as the bad guy. But even that’s wrong.

The world exists in a state of balance and it is ‘cause and effect’ happening here. The very concept of blame is invalid as we’ve said. We act, cause something to happen and life responds with an effect to maintain the balance. So regardless of our actions there will always be a resultant balance, whether good or bad.

Unfortunately when we are unhappy and have low self-esteem it appears to us that we are always in the wrong. All we see is our continued failures and negative circumstances a result of us being unworthy, fat, unattractive, unloved or unsuccessful. This constant negative reinforcement can do no more than keep us down, and ultimately cause us to hate ourselves. You can see that this is a downward spiral, gaining momentum each and every time something goes wrong. If we expect things to go wrong, then of course they will; this is our ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’ again.

Each one of us is unique, a one off. There is no one else in this world like us and we must embrace the life we have been given and do our best with whatever we have. It’s never what we have that defines us but what we do with it. In the same way, we are each responsible for our lives, our thoughts and actions and if we are not happy with any of it, then it is we alone who must change it. It’s never someone or something else: a partner, a job, not winning the lottery or whatever, that creates your unhappiness.

Your unhappiness is the result of you accepting negativity as your master. So, do you want to change this?

We must then learn how to adjust our thinking and arrest the habitual negative thinking about ourselves. What is needed here is to establish some parameters for success.

If we are conditioned to believe we are failures, then we’ll believe it, subconsciously sabotaging whatever we do to reinforce our belief. So to overcome this we need to create small successes and accumulate them to give us more confidence and to then allow us to set achievable goals and work toward them. So each day, write a list of all the small tasks that you have to carry out: shopping, paying a bill, buying a card etc. Mark them off as you complete them and at day’s end, consider all that you have accomplished. Success begins with one small step.

Visualisation for Success

In your normal meditation, and after some deep breathing, I want you to imagine you are at an award ceremony, seated not far from the stage, feeling apprehensive but excited. There are three awards for which you are nominated –

1/ Organisational and Life Skills

2/ Weight loss and Physical Transformation

3/ Emotional Strength and Coping Skills

As your name is announced as winner for each category, you must walk up to the stage, collect your award and then give a short speech in thanks for your support and for what you’ve learned.

For each award you must thank people and explain the importance for you, of what you have learned and put into practice.

At first your speech may be ill-prepared and un-together, but after doing this once a day for a month, you’ll be addressing the audience with a planned and empowering speech, revealing all the important points about your journey.

What you mentally come up with in this visualisation (that is the contents of your speeches), needs to be written down and implemented as a day to day plan of execution.

For example, for the ‘Organisational and Life Skills’ award, you may talk about keeping a diary of your daily tasks, ticking them off one by one, succeeding and attaining your goals.

For the ‘Weight Loss and Physical Transformation’ award, you may talk about the importance of planned exercise and walking, not driving, to help your weight loss.

For the ‘Emotional Strength and Coping Skills’ award, you may talk about how you positively planned out a ‘chores roster’ for your kids to give you time for your meditations.

You see, what you yourself come up with in this visualisation, should be the very things that you implement to assist in your recovery to a more positive and happier life.

After a month of reinforcing these plans, your life will have changed and so will your attitudes and confidence. Each achievable goal will add strength and soon you will understand that you now have control of your life and as a result feel happy and that you are accomplishing your goals. In fact it won’t be long until you feel that there is nothing that you can’t accomplish. And you’ll be right.

When next you look in the mirror, you’ll be happy with what you see.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      6 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Anon,

      You teach people how to move mountains by getting them to first move a pebble. The experience teaches, and happiness becomes evident not in the result but in the doing.

    • profile image

      Anon 

      6 years ago

      The article is fine, I guess, but why weight loss? Losing weight, or even 'physically transforming' in general doesn't have anything to do with happiness inherently, and if your happiness is based on how much you weigh you clearly aren't really that happy.

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      6 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      My pleasure Kate. Take care.

    • KateWest profile image

      KateWest 

      6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Helpful, thank you!

    • profile image

      Nicole12 

      6 years ago

      im still upset about school

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      6 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Amen Chelsea. Thanks for reading and your comment.

    • chelseacharleston profile image

      chelseacharleston 

      6 years ago

      This is a critical topic. So many people wrestle with such a feeling, but it's rarely spoken of freely. I think new age principles would help so many people to understand what they are, and therefore eliminate the self hate so rampant within so many people. They're like loose cannons. I pray they all find peace.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)