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Why I Like To Be Alone From Someone Who Always Hated It!!!

Updated on April 4, 2014

Hello reader.

There are several steps to love your free time. It starts with becoming comfortable with your own company and letting that grow to hobbies and interests. I grew up in a very large chaotic household and was so used to being around people that you'd think I would have craved alone time. But since I had never been alone, I didn't develop ways to entertain myself and was so used to things going on around me that I wanted to be entertained. The secret to never been bored or lonely is to learn how to entertain and amuse yourself!

My parents were very co-dependent people that sort of held us too close and I felt, tried to make me too dependent on them.

I moved out and had my first place at age 20. I was on my own until about 23 and I landed a really cool job so I moved back home per my brother's suggestion so I could get his support and we both worked in the same building.

Well I lived at home about seven years and then an opportunity arose to move out again which I took.

It was harder this time because it was further away and it's hard to move and establish in a new place for everyone I think. I have lived where I am for about five years now. I am finally used to it but still it can be challenging.

It's nice to have company over though and to go visit friends. I love that. And I have a cat. But for a very long time, I dreaded any time alone even after a long day. So I always made sure my day was full and I had events planned for the weekends and all and that was challenging on a low budget.

I will talk about some things I did that helped me learn to be okay with time to myself.

Do you enjoy your own company?

For one thing, it's important we get used to being with ourselves. Our own company that is. It can take time to, if you haven't already. Once that is done, you can get used to spending more time alone but how do you get to the point where you enjoy it and sometimes prefer it?

Well, that took me a long time. I would just say that in the peace and solitude I can meditate and relax and think. It's soothing to know there is no one to irritate or bother me and that if I don't feel well I can relax and rest and choose when company comes by.

One thing I experienced when I had a roommate was they never left the house for an overnight or even for half a day. I never had the place to myself. It's nice to every once in awhile!

Quality over Quantity

It's nice to have a few good friends rather than a ton of difficult ones that you don't know well enough to trust. I really enjoy spending time with my good friends and vice versa.

Do you find quality is better than quantity in friendships?

See results

Are You Able To Imagine and Entertain Yourself?

I think sometimes too, the more unique you are, especially if you're a leader, the less people may understand you. They may respect or look up to you, but would not know where you're coming from or have a clue to your complex makeup. I've found this to be true in some people I know. It can feel "lonely at the top" but there will be people who understand you or at least someone who will support you enough to say they do and just listen.

We need to be listened to and often times without any advice or even reply other than, "I understand." That's what true listening is; it is not just hearing the words but really tuning in to feel that person.

Developing Your Mind and Imagination!

I've gotten help with this by copying others. It's when you find your true interests and desires that you can begin reading and researching and enjoy things again you may have forgotten about. It could be a cool tv series, a book, a hobby, and maybe you become a writer. It's fun and cool to express myself through writing. It helps me learn as I share with others. What a wonderful thing. I am mindful these days about being positive and like to share good news and ideas even on facebook.


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    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 3 years ago from USA

      yoh mio....may I ask, do I know you?

      Thank you!

    • profile image

      yoh mio 3 years ago


    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 3 years ago from USA

      Thank you Marcia. I've heard from many people that they can feel alone More so when around people. I guess it can happen, that's not fun ....I like my time alone and with people and I love hanging out with friends! :)

      Sometimes in larger groups I feel lost for some reason. I'm often misunderstood like today I came into a large setting and just wanted to relax and eat and someone thought I was in a bad mood. :(

    • profile image

      Marcia Ours 3 years ago

      Very true!

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 3 years ago from USA

      Absolutely! Same here. At night--- I watch Joyce Meyer on youtube EVERY night for half hour or more if desired.

      I'm finding lately I'm writing more which is a good sign.

      I also find new books to read from my church, inspirational ones.

      I play soft music, sometimes church music by my bed. I read the word too. Thanks for sharing that! :)

      I am starting to connect more, as I get used to my church more, and I have gotten to love coffee (decaf) and also Food- it just so happens my taste buds are back thank God.

      I never mentioned it before, but I couldn't taste very well, from a medicine I was on. I didn't even know until recently.

      I am grateful- did I mention that?! I make gratitude list in my mind. And cast out and down negative thoughts!!!

      Great to see you! xoxo

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 3 years ago from Pacific Northwest

      I liked this topic. I love living alone. And have for many years. However, it is when I am home alone at night that depression and anxiety often overwhelm me. My remedy is to pray and read the word. I would love to have some hobbies (other than writing) but most of them cost money. Something I have very little of. I have rich social life with close friends doing things I enjoy, coffee, Bible Study, ministry activities, walking. When I need a lift at night, I get on to Youtube and look for some comedic relief, or watch an old movie, or just read various things that interest me. The Lord is always close and I am grateful.