- Mental Health»
Why I Like To Be Alone From Someone Who Always Hated It!!!
There are several steps to love your free time. It starts with becoming comfortable with your own company and letting that grow to hobbies and interests. I grew up in a very large chaotic household and was so used to being around people that you'd think I would have craved alone time. But since I had never been alone, I didn't develop ways to entertain myself and was so used to things going on around me that I wanted to be entertained. The secret to never been bored or lonely is to learn how to entertain and amuse yourself!
My parents were very co-dependent people that sort of held us too close and I felt, tried to make me too dependent on them.
I moved out and had my first place at age 20. I was on my own until about 23 and I landed a really cool job so I moved back home per my brother's suggestion so I could get his support and we both worked in the same building.
Well I lived at home about seven years and then an opportunity arose to move out again which I took.
It was harder this time because it was further away and it's hard to move and establish in a new place for everyone I think. I have lived where I am for about five years now. I am finally used to it but still it can be challenging.
It's nice to have company over though and to go visit friends. I love that. And I have a cat. But for a very long time, I dreaded any time alone even after a long day. So I always made sure my day was full and I had events planned for the weekends and all and that was challenging on a low budget.
I will talk about some things I did that helped me learn to be okay with time to myself.
Do you enjoy your own company?
For one thing, it's important we get used to being with ourselves. Our own company that is. It can take time to, if you haven't already. Once that is done, you can get used to spending more time alone but how do you get to the point where you enjoy it and sometimes prefer it?
Well, that took me a long time. I would just say that in the peace and solitude I can meditate and relax and think. It's soothing to know there is no one to irritate or bother me and that if I don't feel well I can relax and rest and choose when company comes by.
One thing I experienced when I had a roommate was they never left the house for an overnight or even for half a day. I never had the place to myself. It's nice to every once in awhile!
Quality over Quantity
It's nice to have a few good friends rather than a ton of difficult ones that you don't know well enough to trust. I really enjoy spending time with my good friends and vice versa.
Do you find quality is better than quantity in friendships?
Are You Able To Imagine and Entertain Yourself?
I think sometimes too, the more unique you are, especially if you're a leader, the less people may understand you. They may respect or look up to you, but would not know where you're coming from or have a clue to your complex makeup. I've found this to be true in some people I know. It can feel "lonely at the top" but there will be people who understand you or at least someone who will support you enough to say they do and just listen.
We need to be listened to and often times without any advice or even reply other than, "I understand." That's what true listening is; it is not just hearing the words but really tuning in to feel that person.
Developing Your Mind and Imagination!
I've gotten help with this by copying others. It's when you find your true interests and desires that you can begin reading and researching and enjoy things again you may have forgotten about. It could be a cool tv series, a book, a hobby, and maybe you become a writer. It's fun and cool to express myself through writing. It helps me learn as I share with others. What a wonderful thing. I am mindful these days about being positive and like to share good news and ideas even on facebook.