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- Drug Addiction
Why I Suddenly Stopped Smoking Marijuana After 4 Years of Almost Daily Use
I used to love smoking cannabis. I can still remember the very first time I smoked a joint, in fact. I smoked one before I even smoked my first cigarette. Although I didn’t get ‘high’ that time, I certainly did for the countless other times.
For the first few years, my use increased. Why wouldn’t it? All of my friends were smoking, and I found other friends that smoked it too. My whole social circle consisted of friends who smoked cannabis, and that’s what we would do almost every day – whether it was sitting at the park, in someone’s house, or at a party, we’d be smoking marijuana.
The true effects for me, when I started smoking marijuana, we great. I’m not going to lie and say it was horrible, because it wasn’t. I’d laugh so hard at things that my throat would feel like it was bleeding, and then I’d laugh some more. Everyone else would laugh, for hours on end. Then we’d eat a lot, and then laugh some more, before heading off to bed.
However, what started out as smoking it once a week at most quickly turned into a few times a week, and before I knew it, every day – and depending on what was happening, a few times a day. This would always be with friends who wanted to smoke it too. We’d sit around and smoke it, telling stories and jokes and laughing. This went on for about 2 years.
As the use increased, looking back I can see how things changed. What I once only smoked with friends, I began to smoke alone too. I’d go out for the night, smoke a few joints with friends, then come back home and have one or two by myself. I’d then wake up feeling awful, and have to drag myself to work.
In my last few months of heavy use, I cut off all contact with my friends – I’d rather stay indoors and smoke a joint by myself, so I could watch a movie alone or listen to music alone. I became paranoid, not answering my phone because I didn't want to talk, or because I thought I sounded too stoned.
I became depressed, and would often lay in bed for most of the day. I lost my job because I could not remember if I’d done something – a symptom of heavy cannabis use (loss of short term memory).
In the very last stages of my ‘addiction’ (more on that in a bit), I became what I now know was ‘psychotic’. I started become extremely paranoid, and I swear, I truly believed that all sorts of conspiracies were true. I started seeing patterns everywhere, and I became obsessed with the government and control and all sorts.
The thing is, until I stopped smoking, it just all seemed so normal. Everything seemed to just flow – I’d want to have a joint, and everything would be fine. I clung on to the early memories of limitless laughter and good times, even when I was alone in my room. I couldn’t let go.
Until I, well, grew up. The time came when I realised I just didn’t need to smoke cannabis no more. My tolerance had grown so much that a strong joint lasted barely 30 minutes, and then I’d feel slow, monged and unclear. I can still remember the foggy feeling now – laziness had ruled me.
So I stopped, for many months. It’s now been over two years since I smoked full time – I’ve smoked about three times since then. Each time I haven’t felt great, and I’ve not wanted to do it for a long time afterwards. Feeling clear, clean and quick-witted is much better than being out of it for me, at least now I’m older.
People may read this article and shout “Weed isn’t addictive!” or “Your mental problems were caused by underlying problems!” Maybe so, but this is my story, and it didn’t go well. I don’t hate cannabis – I have some excellent memories, but I do feel disappointed I tried to milk it for so many years, and I wish I’d never smoked it heavily on my own.
So if you’ve just started smoking, or have been smoking for a while and wonder if your smoking too much, there’s my story. To those of you that want to try it, nothing will stop you from doing so, but just remember even though you may think positively, for some of use it can unwillingly develop into a psychological addiction, with physical symptoms, so be careful.
P.S. Two years after stopping, I run my own business from home, volunteer, live with my girlfriend, and enjoy a good life. There is so much more to life than cannabis and lazing about – you just have to make the decision to find it.