Why Porn is Bad for Men
Pornography is bad for men because it causes men to have unrealistic views of a woman's body, to be unsatisfied with real women and to separate sex from intimacy which results in a life of loneliness, separation, lack of intimacy and impotence. Magazines use the most beautiful women to sell their wares and even those women are touched up and airbrushed. Pornography teaches men to look to the physical side of a woman rather than encouraging him to love her for her soul and mind first. The physical will change but the soul and mind usually stays the same.
The effect of pornography on men is dissatisfaction with normal women. Normal women can't live up to unrealistic expectations, nor should they. But when faced with unrealistic expectations women internalize these expectations causing them to feel inadequate, the result is that they do not want to be intimate (further exasperating men) because they don't feel beautiful when compared to the perfect images displayed in magazines and on computers. Dissatisfaction always occurs when expectations are unrealistically high. Naomi Wolf wrote about this in The Beauty Myth, her book is below.
I read somewhere that the Danes are the happiest people on the face of the earth and do you want to know why they are the happiest people on the face of the earth? It's because they have low expectations from life. When you have low or even normal expectations you have nowhere to go but up, but when you have unrealistically high expectations you are forced into disappointment, you have no where to go but down.
Moreover, pornography teaches men to separate sex from intimacy and love. It divorces the sex act from relationship which makes having a relationship difficult and as many have found impossible. In addition, it discourages the integration of love and intimacy which leads to a life of loneliness, separation and selfishness. I had a friend who had an addiction to pornography, he lived a life of loneliness because he could not force himself to be attracted to real women. He would like to have a normal, satisfying relationship but he can't, the only thing that attracts him are images of unrealistic celluloid women, women who don't exist and women that are objects. His life is filled with a secret desperation that he no longer controls. There are many men that once their pornography addiction takes hold they can no longer have relations with real women. The addiction rules them, they don't rule it.
Pornography is like a drug addiction, the more you feed it the more it wants and the less control you have over it. The book of Proverbs admonishes: Drink water from your own well – share your love only with your wife. Don't destroy the gift of intimacy by having sex with just anyone. It should be protected and then shared with that one special person and used to build up your relationship, not squandered. Don't share it with strangers thereby destroying your own life. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, with an immoral woman, or embrace the breasts of an adulterous woman? For the LORD sees clearly what a man does, examining every path he takes. An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his incredible folly. This generation has experienced the slavery of sin in full force due to pornography and the result has been destroyed families, destroyed relationships and destroyed lives. No truer words were said.
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