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Grow Out of Unnecessary Complicating Your Life

Updated on September 24, 2018
ValKaras profile image

Val is a life-long practically oriented student of effective emotional and attitudinal responses to the many challenges of life.

What Was Really so "Good" about It?
What Was Really so "Good" about It?

"Good, Old Days"

"I wish there was a way to know you are in good old days before you've actually left them."---- Andy Bernard

Let's face it, stress is the sign of our times, which is nothing new---except that it's also one of the biggest paradoxes of our times. Said in a nutshell: these are the best times ever in the whole long history of mankind; and aside of our peculiar passion for complicating our lives, we don't have much of an objective excuse for being stressed out.

In my childhood, and we are talking the time right after the WW2 in the devastated Europe, horses and carts were still a regular feature on roads. Light-switch was the only "high tech" invention in households. To cook your meals, wash yourself, and have some heat in the house, you had to first go chop some firewood and smash off some chunks of coal for your furnace.

Laundry was done manually, clothes and bed sheets were boiled in a huge container for disinfection. TV was unheard of, and families of an average income could not afford a radio. Of course, forget about a luxury of a turntable with the model that didn't have to be wound up.

Truth be told, if there was anything good in life back then, it was simple rejoicing about the war being over and life having been spared by some miracle. It seemed that out of that gratitude people didn't dare to ask for more, and starting all over from scratch still looked so much better than having ended up in a ditch by the road.

Well, speaking for myself, with all those memories of a raw struggle for survival, these are the days when I feel as if living a "science fiction" with all technological advantages which are generally taken for granted, and---judging by the popular level of stress---hardly appreciated.

Having lived through those hard times, and with everything available that's making life so easy these days---I am so aware how it's ultimately up to me now to also make life simple for myself.

Yes, Being Young Made All the Difference
Yes, Being Young Made All the Difference

Youth Was Painting It All in Pink

"Enjoy your youth, you'll never be younger than you are this very moment."

----Chad Sugg

And yet, every so often I hear people of my baby-boomer generation mention those "good, old times". I don't share their nostalgic reminiscing, and with a simple, meant to be eye-opening remark, I remind them how the only good thing about those times was the fact that we were all young then, and youth had a way of painting everything in rosy colors.

Indeed, if you happen to be in my age group or approaching to it, you must be painfully aware how these days we are operating our bodies on less than half of those hormones that used to give us that extra spark of vitality, with that constant horniness running the turbines of our dreams, hopes, and ambitions.

If you ask a young-and-in-love camel runner in Sahara desert how he feels about his life, he is bound to tell you how even that sandy emptiness looks beautiful.

But don't even bother asking the same that old, pruned dude with that empty look lost somewhere on the horizon. He might tell you something very similar to what a CEO stretched on a therapist's office couch may say between two deep sighs---"Life is so stressful".

Normally I don't like playing a prophet, but maybe just for sake of a little humor, let me say it---one day, some generations from now, people will be ashamed to say they are stressed out.

Honestly, I just can't believe that this crappy mental trend will persist for much longer.

We Don't Have to Complicate to Be Like Everybody Else
We Don't Have to Complicate to Be Like Everybody Else

When Complicating Is a Norm of Living

"The most complicated skill is to be simple". ---- Dejan Stojanovic

Well, you don't have to take seriously my amateurish theorizing, but I think our declining hormone situation, along with aging itself was merely the result of all layers of accumulated stress over the years. And most of it totally unnecessary in a retrospect.

It may be due to our collective consciousness which took the attitude of complicating as a norm of living. I would say, we are like that dude in my favorite definition of a hypochondriac who is "only feeling normal when he is feeling crappy".

Seemingly it's a sort of a compulsion to think, feel, and act like everybody else. Maybe out of a need to "belong" to the herd, to tune into a common mode of functioning---to be recognizable, accepted as "one of them". But, whatever the underlying motivation may be, it's silly and unnecessary, and self-destructive in a final analysis.

Thus, it's a small wonder that we can't recognize these times as the best ever. If just for a moment we would see our minds as instruments for processing our reality, a metaphor with musical instruments might be appropriate: so, give an out-of-tune guitar to Eric Clapton and he won't make any music on it---no matter how good notes you give him.

Likewise, give ourselves all advantages of the modern living, and our minds, being out-of-tune, will be producing only "noise, not music".

If I Could Only Embrace It All!
If I Could Only Embrace It All!

Why Simple if It Can Be Complicated---Says This World

"If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself."

---- Albert Einstein

In my working days I would come in on a typical Monday morning softly whistling or humming a happy tune, and having a nice word for everyone, especially female co-workers. Well, I was not flirting in a sense of making a pass at any of them, but I always liked giving them compliments, and they knew that was it.

My happy disposition became a sort of contagious over a time, and yet there was always a long face or two that were "immune to the bug of happiness" and insisting on being miserable. My boss being one of them would go a step further while mumbling something like : "Man, you are not supposed to be happy on Mondays". Call it insubordination, but I wouldn't follow that instruction.

Well, to borrow my expression from above, I didn't care much to be "recognizable as one of the crowd." Being an oddball was not making me feel either lonely or misunderstood. And it still doesn't.

Now, everybody including myself experiences that initial spike of displeasure when things go wrong. But, when we make a resolve to simplify our life, such negative responses become shorter in duration and so much milder in intensity.

I just can't get it why we carry those lousy responses over to the rest of our daily activities. We like to share our crappy experiences at work with family and friends, and they, as if "to get even", use our ears for their own version of "life sucks" story.

And when you get to my age of over seventy, every damn getting together with friends resembles a group therapy session, while everyone around has something to report about bad health, bad weather, bad anything.

Really, when you think about it, why can't people leave it all behind and try to have fun, to insist on humor, gossip about celebrities, listen to music, play a card game, and lie to one another how good they look.

Or, why can't we be like zebras. Namely, as you know, and I am only reminding you---if zebra wins a race with lion, it will continue grazing peacefully as if nothing happened. We, on the other hand, get traumatized by anything that's far from looking like a lion, and then it haunts us for days, if not longer.

Keeping Ourselves Well Covered and Protected at All Times Against Self-Created Stressors
Keeping Ourselves Well Covered and Protected at All Times Against Self-Created Stressors

Masters of a Routinized Life---but Still Tense

"If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath."

---- Amit Ray

When someone tells me they can't relax, I ask them : "How do you manage to fall asleep at night?" Really, what exactly do we do with all those worries, frustrations, grudges, impatience, and all other pearls of complicating at our bed time?

How do we succeed to loosen down all muscles and nerves to be able to sink into that oblivion where none of that emotional crap seems to matter anymore? How is the mechanism of falling asleep different from relaxing during the day, other than we don't "overdo" it by falling asleep?

It's truly amazing how we reserve that ability only for our bed time, ably sweeping it all under the rug---until the next morning when we sweep all the crap out again to continue tormenting ourselves with that same old passion of complicating our lives.

Besides, in our daily practice of living there is hardly anything that we have not done so many times before, actually so much so that we could freely just decide to "go through the motions" and not even bother thinking about it.

So, why do we need our faces, our shoulders, our stomachs to be in a constant state of a spasm, as if that well familiar routine is demanding an extra strained focus in order to be performed?

Is anybody after our ass while we are just sitting on our couch and watching TV---because we even complicate those moments of a deserved rest.

May We Discover the Beauty of It All
May We Discover the Beauty of It All

With an Awakened Spirit

"I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job, because he will find an easy way to do it." ---- Ziad K. Abdelnour

All it really takes is awakening of our spirit enough to realize that it's all of our own make---all of our responsiveness to life. No one is pissing us off, we choose it---consciously or unconsciously, and with some of that spirit awakened we may choose to stop doing it to ourselves.

The world is not about terrorists, bad politicians, high cost of medical insurance, climate change, and a nagging spouse---it's about our response to all that.

We are not helpless automatons waiting to see what kind of emotions will "befall" us. They are our constructs, together with our attitude, our beliefs, and our dominant thoughts during the day.

So, let's wake up and stop complicating this life, we don't know if we'll get another one to make it better. Everybody knows on their gut level how they are making things complicated for themselves, and there is no magic bullet to undo it, other than befriending ourselves enough not to do it anymore. Let's face it, folks, if we were doing to our friends what we sometimes intimately do to ourselves, we wouldn't have many friends---if any at all. Agree?


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    • ValKaras profile imageAUTHOR

      Vladimir Karas 

      2 years ago from Canada

      Au Fait - It feels so rewarding to see other people sharing our views, and your eloquent skills backed up with your studies in psychology even make them look better.

      I truly appreciate your long comments C.C., you always express your fine mind in ways that make me feel like we just had a nice conversation. Thank you for letting me know about your views about this important matter of people wasting so much energy and precious time on unnecessary fussing over things that ultimately don't matter one bit.

      Have yourself a great day - Val

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 

      2 years ago from North Texas

      Agree that people often obsess over things that really aren't important. One can gain a lot of confidence just by looking at a situation or event realistically. A friend who has now passed on used to say, "A hundred years from now nobody will know the difference or care." Sometimes it's more like a few days or even a few hours from now. No need to wait a hundred years. People often seem to anguish over some very trivial things.

      One thing most people don't realize is that many people are so worried about the image they are projecting to others that they really don't notice details about anyone else unless they’re so horrible they can’t be ignored. So if you know the person you’re meeting for the first time is most likely agonizing over how they’re coming across to you, it allows you to relax and be yourself. They won’t notice if you aren’t perfect because they’re too focused on how perfect they’re coming across to you.

      I don't care about belonging to any herd either. Sometimes what one must do to fit in just isn't worth it. Fitting in can be overrated.

      I believe people could improve their lives markedly if they would simply put things in perspective. Often that alone will free up hours of time, as one needn't do or think about things that really don't matter anyway, and that leaves more time for those things that do matter, or better yet, things one finds more enjoyable.

      As always, you get your readers to thinking, and that’s a good thing.

    • ValKaras profile imageAUTHOR

      Vladimir Karas 

      3 years ago from Canada

      It gives me a great pleasure to hear from you, Esther. If it hadn't been for you and your encouragement, I would have never been a part of Hubpages. And I am really glad my hub served as a little reminder to you about our conscious power to make of life what we choose. - Be well my friend. Val

    • Esther  Strong profile image

      Esther Strong 

      3 years ago from UK

      Thanks for this reminder that life is as simple, or as complicated, as we think it is and that we can handle just about anything if we believe we can. (am linking to one of my hubs) - Welcome to Hubpages Val


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