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How to Stop Self-Sabotaging Our Life

Updated on January 8, 2018
Sudip Choudhury profile image

Sudip finds the cause of all of his problems using Self Inquiry. And he uses Neuro Linguistic Programming to solve these problems.

All of us have some dreams in our lives that we wish to fulfill. However, when it comes to put the real work for the completion of the goal, we tend to create excuses and start finding some easier alternative, to avoid pain in the effort of doing it.

Science backs up the idea that every result encompasses a cause behind it. And, merely having a dream and setting up a goal does not produce the results. We need to put the actual efforts in realizing a goal and at the end of it; we could reap the desired results.

Everyone is aware of these stuffs intuitively, but then why are we not able to do the work needed for realizing our goals?

As per my understanding, the reason for this is because we have become slaves of our mind. We have a tendency to let our mind decide what is sensible for us and let it guide us through every situation in our lives.

Source

Nature Of the Mind

We do not realize the fact that ‘the mind is a wonderful slave, but a terrible master’.

The mind forever keeps running behind pleasures, and to gain pleasure, it begins to sabotage our lives. We start wasting our time in various superfluous works and stop doing the real work which will provide the results ultimately. We fail to appreciate the fact that there is no gain without pain and the mind always runs away from pain.

Suppose you are riding in a cab and before long as you enter, you fall asleep. The driver doesn't know where you want to go and tries to wake you up. But you do not wake up and the driver goes wherever he pleases. After an hour, you wake up and see that you have arrived at the wrong place and start scolding the driver for taking you to the wrong location. But, as you are awake, you can direct the driver correctly to your desired location.

Why do we Self-Sabotage?

So, with the help of some personal instances, I will talk about how the mind acts as a terrible master and starts sabotaging our lives. I will also provide some helpful tips on how to become our own master and begin taking control of our lives.

First Instance

During my college days, I used to dream of becoming an entrepreneur. I used to watch videos of great entrepreneurs in order to motivate myself. I admired their lavish lifestyle and their fame. I had a goal in my mind of becoming one of the greatest entrepreneurs of the world; however, I did not realize the effort that one needs to put in to become one.

After my graduation, as the time to realize my goal came nearer, I started making excuses; like all entrepreneurs are gifted and I am not one of them. I did put my half- hearted effort into a T-shirt business and failed miserably. As a result, I stopped following my goal and started to focus on finding a decent paying job instead.

Later, I realized that my mind was making excuses and was trying to save itself from the pain of another failure.

Second Instance

The second instance is when I decided to go to a gym after watching some fitness videos on You Tube. I enrolled in the gym and decided to work out every day and become muscular in a year. I needed to go to the gym at 5 in the morning. Everything was fine for a month. Then, once more my mind started giving excuses. I started noticing that others were taller and bigger boned than I was. I began to wonder whether I would even be able to lose the extra pounds that I gained, let alone the dream of turning into a muscular man. From, the next day I began realizing that after coming from the gym, I felt tired and restless the entire day. The mind was making an excuse that it is troublesome to wake up at 5 in the morning. The mind was doing so in order to avoid the pain of working out. A Few weeks later, I stopped going to the gym.

Till now, you probably have observed the way our mind makes excuses and tricks us into thinking they’re for real.

The problem is that our mind is a very powerful instrument and we should learn to use it effectively, otherwise, it has the potential to destroy our lives. However, the good part is that our mind is afraid of the intellect (a.k.a. intelligence). The intelligence becomes stronger by the correct understanding of situations in life supported by our experiences.

How to stop Self-Sabotaging

Now, I will provide some tips that I used to stop self-sabotaging myself and started taking control over my life.

  1. The first step in setting any goal is to have a well-defined reason for accomplishing it. Define your reasons for achieving the goal clearly and think about how not being able to achieve it will affect your life.
  2. Make the image of achieving your goals compelling enough, so that you are not tricked by your mind.
  3. Never have unrealistic expectations of yourself. In my case, becoming muscular in one year was intimidating enough and gave the mind chance to make excuses of not having the ability able to achieve it.
  4. Stop accepting what everyone says and analyze it first using your own understanding.
  5. Meditation: Meditation clears the mind and strengthens the intellect. It enables you to observe the tricks and excuses that the mind is playing and discard it whenever necessary.
  6. Accept the worst-case scenarios of not being able to achieve your goals beforehand.
  7. Self-discipline: Self-discipline is a vital key in achieving any goal. It keeps you on the right track even if the mind is confused. List out all the negative behaviors that you just won’t tolerate from yourself any longer.
  8. Take Responsibility: Be responsible for your own actions even when you fail. This helps in understanding yourself better.
  9. Avoid depending on others for the completion of your goals.

© 2017 Sudip Choudhury

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