- Mental Health»
You Can't Help Someone Who Doesn't Want Your Help
My grandfather used to say “you can only lead a horse to water, you can’t make it drink.”
This is so true. Or is it?
An alcoholic will not mend his ways until and unless he is ready to do so, nor will a drug addict give up his dependence on drugs until he is good and ready to get clean. This is the conventional wisdom.
It is very difficult to refrain from trying to help a family member or a close friend or relative who is heading down the wrong path. Not only am I guilty of trying to help when I was not asked, but I keep making this mistake over and over again out of a sense of duty and love, and despite rejection after rejection.
But no more. I’ve now reached a place in my life where I have decided to use a different way to help those who do need help, and whose lives will continue in a downward spiral if they do not receive that help. It’s an easier way, a better and less stressful way.
A few years ago I found Neville Goddard. Since then I’ve read many of his lectures, not all, but many. To read, understand and digest all of his lectures would be a lifetime endeavor. Neville taught that if we want something to happen, even to see someone behave differently, all we have to do is to imagine it. He calls it imagining. Imagining creates reality. If someone is unemployed, imagine him gainfully employed, hear him tell you about the great job he found, and this will come to pass.
Neville’s 1954 lecture The Pruning Shears Of Revision is one worth reading. Neville says that we can revise our day, at the end of the day, to make it the way we want it to be. If we don’t, the unrevised day will advance into the future to confront us. But if we revise our days, our tomorrows will be better.
I have used visualization, imagination, and vision boards to get the things that I want and I’ve also used Neville’s pruning shears of revision to improve relationships and situations. It works. It really does. But at times, being a weak human (I know, a flimsy excuse), I forget what really works and attack a problem head-on. That, believe me, only makes matters worse.
Revision, imagining, visualization - these are my new “weapons of love” to solve problems I and others face. I can help people without them ever knowing that it was I who caused the “good luck” to appear in their lives. And they don’t need to know. In fact, it’s best if they didn’t know.
Google “the pruning shears of revision” and download it free. I think you will love the beauty and the wisdom it contains.
I leave you now with a quote from Neville: be careful what you are imagining, for what you are imagining you will create, though it may convulse the world.