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You Got Where You Are Because You Put Yourself There – A Lesson In Responsibility

Updated on August 10, 2010


“If only…” the words that immediately make me cringe and start to get so pissed off I suddenly look like Yosemite Sam with smoke coming out of both ears and a hopping about dance that can only truly be done justice in cowboy boots. I cannot tell you how many people in my life want to play “the victim” and this is something that I not only will not tolerate for myself but have little sympathy for anyone else. I don’t want to hear about the tragic circumstance you’ve gotten yourself into and how you have no idea how you’ll get yourself out of it. I want to hear the triumphant story of how you figured out how to get yourself in the proper headspace to get yourself out of whatever situation you’re in. Enough with the pity parties (before someone makes a reality series out of it) You got where you are because you put yourself there – a lesson in responsibility – Don’t Get Me Started!

Look, I get it, we’re a greedy little bunch who are not satisfied to keep up with the Joneses but also want to have so much more than the Joneses that when they look at us they’ll appear in a lovely shade of emerald green. We can blame Wall Street, the oil spill, big business, not being more “godly” or whatever you want but at the end of the day we create our own destiny based on the choices we make and whether or not we can learn enough from our own mistakes to not find ourselves back in the same position time and time again.

I have always prided myself on the fact that I can grieve over the loss of something (or someone) and find my way through to the other side enough to get on with things. I get that there are some people out there (especially those dealing with family or pet losses) that take longer but I’m not talking about those people. I’m talking about the people who walk around like Eyore, constantly gloomy, just waiting for a reason to have pity upon themselves enough to barricade themselves in their homes for a week eating bag after bag of Oreos and watching Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan movies. At some point don’t these people get tired of themselves?

The thing is that the more you give into “being overwhelmed” or “unable to see a solution” the longer it’s going to take you to get to the solution. If you start even with the smallest step toward cleaning the mess that is your life is up, you’ll be amazed how much easier the next step is to take. Pretty soon you’ve cleaned up most of the calamity and thank God for the rest of civilization, you’ve taken a shower and brushed those nasty teeth so we don’t have to smell you.

If you are one of those who are inclined to slide down the depression incline (and are not under a doctor’s care complete with prescription assistance) I would highly recommend that you start by washing the dishes in the sink. You’re the one who left them there so you clean ‘em up. Right, it’s a metaphor. Sure, the soapy water is going to take away a lot of the dirt and grime but sometimes you’re going to have to scrub a little bit to get that dish clean. What you’ll find is that the huge pile of dishes in the sink wasn’t all that difficult to clean, dry and put away. You’ll also discover just how much in denial you were when you see that you have about sixteen plates in there that all had cake on them at one point in the last forty-eight hours (the evidence being the used container in the garbage). You told yourself if you put it on a small plate or didn’t use the same plate that it would make you eat less. Well guess what? You’ve eaten the whole damn thing, so like life, you’ve overindulged and now you need to pay the price. Once the dishes are neatly stacked where they’re supposed to be you’ll find that somehow the kitchen looks more livable again. Your life is no different, get out that soapy water, scrub where necessary, admit to yourself where you’ve gone wrong and then organize yourself like those neatly stacked dishes so that you can begin to restack and rebuild your life.  It won’t be that long before you’re life is more livable again. And the best part? The rest of us won’t have to listen to you whimper and bitch anymore. I’m just sayin’. You got where you are because you put yourself there – a lesson in responsibility – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      And blessings to you lovely EA! I'm doing it, getting rid of all attachments - well, these types of attachments. I never thought of it in those terms. Thanks for always enlightening!

    • Earth Angel profile image

      Earth Angel 7 years ago

      Good Morning Java-Mate and Spouse!!

      Yep, thumbs up from me!! On all counts!!

      One of the best 'practices' I use is to take the good/bad judgement out of the equation!!

      In Buddhism, as well as many other traditions, at the root of all suffering is attachment!! Attachment to people, pets, homes, jobs and even beliefs, hopes and yes, traditions as well!!

      We are socially conditioned to interpret 'what feels good is good and what feels bad is bad!!' Yet how many times have we had something we were devastated by at the moment actually turn into something good down stream!! (There are a few rare tradegies in life, like the senseless loss of a child, that don't fit . . .)

      When we take the judgement out, and just look at 'things as they are, neither good nor bad, just something that needs our attention' the pity has nothing to feed upon nor grow!!

      GREAT Hub Great Scott!!

      Blessings to you both this lovely morning!! Earth Angel!!

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 7 years ago from Upstate New York

      Great hub, I agree, too, so that really does make it unanimous!

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      At least we all agree!

    • ladyjane1 profile image

      ladyjane1 7 years ago from Texas

      Very good advice Scott I know so many people that are always having pity parties for themselves and it is so frustrating to watch them...thanks for sharing. Cheers.

    • gqgirl profile image

      Sabrae 7 years ago from Georgia

      I am a firm believer in picking yourself up and dusting it all off and moving on. But I've noticed the people that are also the "attention" seekers out there. The ones who will cry "oh poor me" just to get the attention of others and stay in their funks longer. Drives me insane!