ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

You don't look sick...

Updated on May 23, 2012
My Mom = My Superwoman
My Mom = My Superwoman

Strong and Resilient

At the age of 14 I began dealing with a new complication of SLE and that is Nephritis. Lupus Nephritis is a Kidney disorder and it affects 3 out of 10,000 people; however, in children with SLE the statistics go up to 50%. What happens is that the Lupus begins to attack healthy kidney tissue causing inflammation of the kidney. When this happens protein begins to pass through the kidney tissue and cause scarring. Severe scarring of the kidneys cause them to eventually shut down.

While this is happening however, there are no real symptoms. You don't feel sick at all, there are no warning signs; I didn't feel anything I felt great. (When and if this continues untreated some people may develop high blood pressure or swelling in various parts of the body). I had a really good doctor and she was thorough; she took nothing for granted, and she was able to see the spilling of protein in my urine.

I had my first Kidney biopsy at the age of 14. In fact, the Nephrologist who did my first kidney examination and biopsy is still my doctor today. He is an awesome doctor, who genuinely cares about his patients; he's like part of my family.

The biopsy came up positive for active Lupus Nephritis and again I was given steroid therapy to quickly bring the Lupus under control. I thought, here we go again, something else, I'm so tired of this already, but I also braced myself for the fight.

My mom was a single parent, and I was always so conscious of her labor and hard work for her children; making sure we had what we needed, and alot of times, what we wanted was her life's work. So I always thought it was my responsibility never to allow her to see my physical and or emotional pain. I kept my feelings to myself, locked-up alot of times and when I felt I was about to burst I would journal or pray and by the next day I would be okay. Yes on the outside I looked fine, but there was so many things going on inside of me, I often felt if I let a little out I would never be able to gather myself together again.

As a result I began to develop what's referred to as an eating disorder brain, which is, I became fixated on my weight and how I looked in an effort to control my world. As a way of gaining my power back I began exercising excessively and really controlling what I ate. I had seen what an eating disorder could do, I had a friend that battled it (she won by the way and is a blessing to my life still).

Thankfully my mom began to notice a change, and though she couldn't really put a name to it, what she began to do is not allow me the opportunity to feel sorry for myself. She challenged me and pushed me and I was required to take charge while she was at work. As another precaution she told my rheumatologist of the change in my diet and habits very nonchalantly as to not make me feel embarassed and my doctor prescribed some vitamins and also a Lupus support group; I had a great support system in the both of them, those two worked together tirelessly to keep me healthy.She never saw the disease in me and always taught me that I can do anything that I put my mind too (I'm sure she doesn't even remember, but I remember that day like it was yesterday).

Ironically this is when I found my love for the kitchen and cooking and that phase was short-lived. At 32 I can truly say that I'm an awesome cook and I'm responsible for most of the holiday family meals. I was never given the opportunity to be subject to a full blown eating disorder and I was never allowed to feel sorry for myself, for this I thank the Lord for the mother He has allowed me to be born to. She has shaped most of who I am, not perfect but strong, resilient, and willing to put up a good fight; face my challenges.


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)