ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

American attitudes toward the elderly

Updated on August 31, 2012

Why don't Americans treasure the elderly?

The idea for this Squidoo lens came to me the other day when I took my 94 year old Mom out with me; I had to run an errand and had no one to stay with her so she didn't have a choice to stay home this time. Now, I don't mean to say that I don't take her with me anyway but, this particular day, she wasn't feeling up to getting dressed so we made an executive decision - we decide that, at almost 95 years of age, she could go out in her nightgown, robe, and socks. Yep, that's right. She's never going to make Blackwell's best dressed list anyway so, WTH?

The reactions we got were amusing and will be detailed further in this lens. And a disclaimer: the opinions in this Squidoo lens are strictly mine and I'm opinionated! So, if you have a beef, let me know. I'm a big girl - I can take it.

As with all of my elder care articles, I don't expect to make any money from this Squidoo lens, but I do hope to get some readership and spark some interesting conversation which you may add to later. Please leave me comments at the bottom of this Squidoo lens so I know you stopped by. And, if you're interested, you can see a list of my elder care articles by clicking this link: Caregiver and Elder Care Articles.

The accompanying picture is of my Mom (Gert) in what she calls her "double header" post. Gizmo and Matee are her almost constant companions in her easy chair. They move at the same speed she does - s-l-o-w.

Speaking of which, please read this excellent article Respect your elders.PeppyPatricia has some great ideas here about how to show respect to our elders.

American attitudes toward the elderly
American attitudes toward the elderly

How the Americans we saw saw us.

My errand was to run to the Benjamin Moore store and get paint for a room. Now, you might not think that this was an important enough errand to make my Mom accompany me on but it was. You see, we have a caregiver now living with us full time, and we had to get the room ready. So, off we tottled.

As we entered the paint store, there were two American women picking out samples. They were dressed well and obviously the kind of women who spent hours in a paint store. Not our kind of chicks. I'd do much better picking out paint if someone gave me just five colors and said "pick one." I hate picking out paint. Anyway, I've digressed...

As I wheeled Mom into the store in her thick white robe and pink polka dotted socks, the women looked up. Their faces registered a bit of shock at seeing us and then they both tried to force a grin. I forced one back.

The gentleman behind the counter, on the other hand, was Indian and greeted us very warmly. He came out from behind the counter, shook Mom's hand and asked how her day was going. He even helped me pick out some beautiful paint colors. He obviously was brought up in a culture that cherished the elderly. Americans? Not so much.

Nursing home problems in America

Why do we Americans allow nursing homes to be so problematic in dealing with the elderly? When I was young, my grandmother had to be placed into a nursing home for her own safety. I'm sure, looking back, she had Alzheimer's but there wasn't a name for the disease at that time. I remember walking in on a surprise visit to see her strapped in bed, half naked, crying. My father hit the roof, as he should. A search of Washington DC nursing homes showed us that the same problems existed over and over again.

We finally sent my Bubbie to live in the Jewish Home for the Aged - one of the nicest nursing homes in the area. It was quite pricey back then but you get what you pay for.

The below links are articles that may interest you. These articles are all about the state of nursing homes in the US.

A few more good books on

These two books are about checking out nursing homes.

elder care
elder care

How the Chinese people we saw saw us

While the paint was being mixed, I rolled Mom next door to the Chinese grocery where we love to get our vegetables. Not only are the fruits and vegetables much cheaper than in the regular grocery store, they're fresher too. During our short visit, every single Chinese person we saw smiled at Mom first and then at me. And, these weren't forced smiles - there were warm smiles. One man even came up and asked me if she was my Mom and, in a very accented voice, told her how lovely she was. Now, remember, the woman was in a nightgown, robe, and socks! It was positively heartwarming.

Why the difference in attitudes between how Americans view elders and other cultures

I have my own theory about why we Americans tend to view our elders as lesser beings than other cultures. A few of my ideas are below.

  1. Other cultures live in extended families. I know my Chinese friends all had 3 generations living in the same home when they lived in Hong Kong. As they immigrated to the US, the pattern of generations living under the same roof was upheld. We Americans move out when we're young adults and that's that. Although, I will say, in recent times, I know of more and more "kids" living back with their aging parents out of necessity or laziness. Because we move out, we sort of lose touch with our elders. Visiting Grandma becomes a chore instead of the pleasure it should be. What a shame that so many young people don't know their elders.
  2. Other cultures see their elders as wise; we Americans tend to see our elderly as weak. Now, I know this is a stereotype but I believe it so it's ok for me to say ( that right?). Regardless, in talking with my friends of other cultures, they all ask advice of their elders. They may not always take the advice but they ask. This serves a two-fold purpose: 1) the years of experience give elderly a leg up in dealing with life in general so they are wiser and 2) asking the elderly their opinion keeps them engaged in life.
  3. The American culture glorifies youth and fears aging. All you have to do is pick up a magazine and look at the cover. How often is there a model over 30 on the cover? Almost never, unless it's, well, AARP...

    Americans are so interested in staying young they will do almost anything to appear that way - witness botox injections. I've had some friends get so much botox that their foreheads are frozen. I'd rather have wrinkles than not be able to crinkle my eyes in laughter.

American attitudes toward the elderly

I may be totally off base here and would love for you to set me straight. Anyone who visits this Squidoo lens may comment (eg, you don't have to be a member of Squidoo).

In America, is the attitude toward the elderly better or worse than other cultures?

I love to hear what my readers have to say and the above poll says it all. I'm struck by the comments above and the fact that we, as Americans, really DO treat our elderly differently than they should be treated. What do you think?

Please leave me comments!!

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • mariacarbonara profile image


      5 years ago

      I think you are spot on... somehow we have become a culture of youth and vanity... Strangely though, most of our leaders, judges and politicians etc dont reach their prime until they are in their 50s and 60s... Its definitely one thing that we need to change in our society... we need to value our elders more.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Most western cultures don't seem to value the elderly as many other cultures do. I didn't grow up around grandparents but fortunately my daughters were able to spend more time with theirs. I really hate the youth-worshiping culture we live in but I don't see it changing any time soon.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)