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Anger: The Importance of Managing Anger Before It Controls You

Updated on February 10, 2015

Anger is a natural emotion which is released to something or somebody whom we have perceived as a threat or to something that was said or done by somebody of which we didn’t feel good about it.

Therefore, anger in itself is not harmful. It is beneficial, for example, if you hear a mother calling her kid a dog, you will become angry because you feel that was not good of the mother calling the child that way. You express the emotion of how you feel about it through anger.

However, anger becomes negative and dangerous when it gets out of control, whether it’s something that was said to us that was not good, something done to us we didn’t feel good about or something we have heard or seen and we didn’t feel good about it.

It’s amazing how in today’s world people get angry for small things including situations or circumstances that don’t warrant us to express this emotion as a result of being frustrated because of it. Being stuck in a traffic jam or in a queue in the bank can make most of us to express our frustrations through anger.

So, is anger good or not? Anger is a good emotion when it’s controlled. It turns out worse when it gets out of control. Actually even in the Holy Scriptures we are warned about anger. It is stated that the sun should not set while still angry. Why? Anger can become tragic of which it might lead to regret. For example, revenge which might lead to death of the person we have perceived as a threat or a nuisance.

Not only is anger dangerous to another person to whom you have vented your frustration to but also to yourself. It can affect you physically, psychologically and socially. This is internal. Externally it may lead to another person’s bodily harm, affect your receiver psychologically and it might lead to death of the person you’re angry with.


How Anger Affects Your Health

Studies have shown if anger is not controlled it can lead to various health problems. Among them are: headache, high blood pressure, digestion problems, heart attack, stroke, skin problems (e.g eczema) and backache.

The health problems can either be short-term or long-term.

Anger Responses

When someone is angry two responses are usually manifested from this emotion: fight or flight. There is nothing bad or worse than an angry person fighting with another person who is either angry or not. It may lead to physical injuries to the extent it can lead to death. In the case of flight which is a common phenomenon with people who are easily angered it might lead to the angered person withdrawing as they cannot bear to face the facts of which they know are true.

While fleeing can be a positive action to undertake, at times it turns out to be negative because you are fleeing from facing the threat and dealing with it in a calm manner.

While it’s true anger can make a person to be focused and alert, in some instances it can make a person to make poor judgments or decisions resulting to fatal consequences. At times the person won’t be able to think clearly and reason well.


Anger Management

If you find you have a problem with controlling your anger, then you need to sit and consider for a while why anger not controlled is disaster waiting to happen.

Well, it might not be an understatement to note that most of easily angered people are those who have either low self-esteem or like manipulating others especially the case with bullies.

If you find yourself always exploding in rage because you are angry and find the anger has become an unhealthy emotion, then the following are some tips that may help you to calm down.

Remember anger suppressed is not good since it is bottling inside you and you never know when one day it will burst like a volcano melting everything it passes through, causing disaster and damages at the receiver of because of how hot it is.

Also, it is worth pointing out hot-tempered people usually at times direct their frustrations or anger towards other people who are not the target of their anger. For example, a person who has quarreled with his wife and all of sudden fuming hard as if he has about to explode at any moment leaves the house banging the door with such a force it scares the hell the people inside the house. And, while this person is walking down the street, still fuming in rage and meets a cat, you never know what might happen. One of the things that might happen is finding the person having kicked the innocent-poor cat with such a force you see the cat flying on the air and hitting the wall of a business premise.

One of the ways of controlling anger is to walk away from the situation that is making you to be angry. If it’s at home, take time by either locking yourself in the room to think over or walk out and have some time of thinking things over. In any case, don’t lock yourself in the room to fish out the pistol hidden under the bed to shoot your wife. It won’t help solve the situation but make it worse.

How To Deal With Anger - Help With Anger Management

It’s always good to find out what are the reasons that make you angry. What ticks you most? Is it what people say or how they act or any other factor that makes you easily tempered? When you the know the factors that make you to be easily tempered, find ways of dealing with them next time when you are faced with such a situation.

Find an alternative activity to do in order to calm your emotion. Reading a book such as a novel, listening to music especially soft songs, performing an exercise (the easy ones), watching a documentary or movie might help you calm.

Fleeing at times is good because you will be avoiding to be involved in a fight which might lead to violence and the results might be disastrous. Nevertheless, know when you need to withdraw from the situation and when you need to confront it in a godly manner. At times the other person who is angry might want to engage you in fight. Know what needs to be done. Devise various strategies when faced with situations such as this. This can only happen when you take time to devise how you can react and what strategies you can use when faced with various situations which might make you to be angry.


When you seem not able to control this emotion, it’s good to pay a doctor or counselor a visit.

Another way that can help you as an easily-tempered person or you find yourself not able to control your anger in a certain situation, one of the other neglected or less used technique is to pray. Yes, prayer helps. Why? When you talk, you will talk which will make you talk more and more and more until by the end of the prayer you have known which situations make you angry, when you are easily angered, why you cannot control your anger and how you can deal with anger. And all this will take place even without God having spoken to you about your situation (if you believe God does talk). To those who don’t believe in God, praying does help because when talking you are picturing yourself in various circumstances and how you might deal with anger when it goes out of control, and you will come out of the prayer having known what needs to be done.

Learn how to manage your anger before anger takes control of you and your life becoming a master determined to cause disastrous consequences of which you might live the rest of your life regretting.


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    • Ben716 profile image

      Alianess Benny Njuguna 2 years ago from Kenya

      @ Denise, it's true anger affects us more than others. learning to recognize situations when anger can easily slip and dealing with it we will avoid the negative effects that are associated with it. As always, thank you for sharing. It's encouraging.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Anger is a tough emotion! I used to be a very angry person, and I blamed it on everyone and everything. It wasn't until I realized that it was hurting me more than anyone that I began to unravel all of the issues that were intertwined with it. It was then that I realized that anger was secondary to all of the other things I was feeling, such as frustration, disappointment, discouragement, and impatience. If I recognize and deal with these things when they occur, I am less likely to become angry.