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Anger Management

Updated on March 16, 2017

Managing Anger

Anger Management is a skill that can be learnt and put into practice to help those with short tempers.

We have all been angry at someone or even with ourselves at times; it leads to frustration and resentment, but there are ways to manage our anger.

Sometimes we get angry in heavy traffic, with things that don't work, with those close to us, and with: families, politicians, and many other things or people that make our temperature rise and cause us to feel out of sync.

We don't have to allow anger to control us, there are methods that we can use to manage our frustrations and anger.

I completed a 1 year course in psychology which helped me to understand this emotion better.

Anger Management

It is said that anger is a normal and healthy emotion, but it needs to be dealt with in a proper and positive way through learning anger management techniques..

Uncontrolled anger can affect our health and relationships in a negative way.

Excessive anger affects the adrenals and the hormones in our bodies and can make us really sick if we allow it to continue to rule our lives.

There are however ways to control our anger.

Methods To Combat Anger

Breathe deeply and count to 10. Slow yourself down and try to remove yourself from the situation or person making you angry until you feel calmer.

Not all of us benefit from breathing deeply and counting to 10 because our anger has so got a hold of us that to do anything other than be angry is difficult. However if we really wan't to control our anger then it is imperative that we try this method.

When you've calmed down and are no longer feeling frustrated then it's sometimes okay to express yourself (about what angered you) in an assertive manner. This should also be done in a non-confrontational way. Merely state clearly to the other person what your concerns and needs are; don't try to hurt or control the other person or persons.

If you've really blown it and the other person has shut themselves in the room and won't talk to you then it won't help to try this method.

Before saying anything nasty, think first about what you're going to say and if it's going to hurt someone, rather don't say it, chill out and say something that isn't going to create a massive argument. Allow others also to have their say. You might want to blurt something out which you'll only regret later. In that instant of anger stop your tongue from lashing out and rather say something reasonable or something that diffuses your anger.

If the time and place is right get some exercise to overcome your angry feelings. If you feel your'e about to go into a rage, rather go for a brisk walk, or run. Other physical activities like cycling or a work-out at the gym also help. Exercise can help to relax your body and mind. We express ourselves through emotions; let us put our anger in check by engaging in physical activity, not only exercise but anything from washing dishes to doing something creative.

It won't help to dwell on what made you angry in the first place; rather find solutions to the problem. If you keep seeing programs on TV that you don't like or repeat programs, switch the TV off and find something else to do. Difficult to do sometimes when it's your 'tv time' but not impossible if you think about it.

It's up to us sometimes to change our habits if something about life or someone else bothers us. A small thing like the way someone chews while they're eating might irritate you; never take these frustrations personally. Put some music on or start a conversation that allows you to forget that somethings getting to you.

Sometimes we just have to put up with things about others that we don't like, after all there's bound to be things about us that they don't particularly like. Talk about resolving issues that make you angry.

Never hold a grudge against someone, it can make you bitter and create a constant feeling that you've been 'hard done by'. Forgiveness releases us of all feelings of bitterness and hatred. Someone may have been angry with us, but forgiveness releases us from that bondage of discord.

Use 'I' statements when you describe your problem. For example, say "I feel offended by your comments about me in front of our guests", rather than:

"you really upset me when you said those derogatory things about me in front of our guests, you make me mad!" Nobody wants to be blamed for everything, it can also lead to 'name calling', a destructive and abusive way of unleashing our anger.

Relax somehow if you can. Tell yourself to 'chill out, it's not the end of the world'. Put some mellow or relaxing music on, do whatever it takes to relax yourself.

Bring some humour into the situation; realise that you don't really have a right to be crazy-angry; think of how silly your potential outburst would look to an outsider, don't allow yourself to be ridiculous. It's a turn-off for many people.

If you feel your anger is out of control then it's probably best to seek professional help, such as attending anger management classes. After all we don't want out anger to get so bad that we become physically abusive or start destroying objects of value.

With professional help you will learn:

What anger is

What triggers it

Learn to recognise when your'e becoming angry

Learn to approach anger and frustration in a controlled and healthy manner

Discover what's behind your anger, possibly depression or unresolved incidents from your past, learn anger management techniques and learn to control your anger.

Serenity Rather Than Anger


Nature scenes can have a calming effect on us, this can include: Looking at pictures of nature, getting into nature, viewing videos on the outdoors.

Your Comments?

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    • Dave Lynch profile image

      David Edward Lynch 5 years ago from Port Elizabeth, South Africa

      @TolovajWordsmith: Thanks for your comment and for visiting my lens.

    • TolovajWordsmith profile image

      Tolovaj Publishing House 5 years ago from Ljubljana

      Very important issue. Many people have problems with anger management. Thanks for the info!

    • Dave Lynch profile image

      David Edward Lynch 5 years ago from Port Elizabeth, South Africa

      @RuralFloridaLiving: Thanks for your comment

    • Dave Lynch profile image

      David Edward Lynch 5 years ago from Port Elizabeth, South Africa

      @anonymous: Thanks for your input, enjoy your day!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      It's a difficult thing to do, but appreciate your post, thanks for sharing this :)

    • profile image

      RuralFloridaLiving 5 years ago

      Good article!